


Fox on the run

by LittleQueenie



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Blood and Torture, M/M, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-02-08 21:47:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 85,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1957266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleQueenie/pseuds/LittleQueenie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After achieving a level of physical intimacy with Illumi he thought was impossible, Hisoka is not disappointed when he gets the opportunity to continue his game; although not undangerous - Illumi's pushed to limits that are perhaps uncontrollable for either of them (sequel to Will you Illuminate me, explanation below)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to Will you Illuminate me, and although you can read this without reading that first, I'm not explaining events happened in that story, and it may get confusing, or references will go unseen.  
> You're all free to read this, and I'm always available for explanations if you're only reading this and not the prequel. This is just me saying that I'm writing it as a direct continuation and there will be no explanations unless I get your PM (o^_^o)
> 
> All the warnings that applied for Illuminate count here as well; I will warn every time there will be violence or something else that might shock you, so don't be afraid, I know not all of you are waiting for everything that resides in the recesses of my mind ^_^;
> 
> I hope you will enjoy all of it though. I hope you'll have as much fun reading it as I have cackling while writing it in public places (mostly in the train), so let's get to it (~^.^)~
> 
> (and yes, I'm pretending they didn't immediately go into the Chimera ant arc after Greed island)

'Hmm~ thank you for this wonderful performance.' I cooed in his ear, letting go of the firm grip I'd had in his hair. Illumi let his head fall in the sheets face first before turning his head and responding like he always did after it was over,

'Please remove yourself if you're done.' Though the "please" was more of a death threat than a request.

'Most certainly.' I leaned back up, and let my hands glide over his back along his hips before pulling out and letting go. I licked my lips when he stood up and saw the cum oozing out. He shook his hair back before leaving for the bathroom for a while, leaving me sitting on the bed. Although from behind is not my preferred position - because of the whole act I love Illumi's expressions the most – tonight I'd perhaps been a bit more eager than other times.

I raked my own hair back as well with the clean hand and let out a content groan.

A lot of things have changed since Illumi admitted he apparently had a specific attraction to me. That had been part effort, part luck, to be honest. I can't take all the credit for that. He was the one to take the job, he was the one to come to me for assistance on this – logically it had only partly made sense to approach me for this. Naturally have I proven to have the skills necessary, but in his normal state of mind he would never have allowed danger to get this close.

From the moment he called me I'd actually already won the battle, it had only been a matter of pushing the right buttons after. That Illumi actually still had the possibility inside of him to feel this kind of attraction had been the biggest surprise. The beast inside of him is apparently itching to get out.

'We should get a pet.' I spoke up when he returned from the bathroom. Can I say that one of the other surprises had been that he allowed me to be there in his room after every mission? Considering his personality it's not strange, but I enjoy the little victory more than I thought I would.

Well, of course he hadn't allowed the situation immediately, there had been some… resistance at first.

'Since when are you interested in bestiality as well? Although concerning you, it really shouldn't surprise me.' I shuffled to the edge of the bed, putting my feet on the ground, and followed him around the room while he started searching for his clothes. He threw away another torn shirt without second thought. _Well, everything is a lot more in one piece than the first time I showed up again._

'You're making a joke? The assassination must have gone very well then.' I do believe I walked away from that first time with pieces of skin missing. But maybe that had merely been the fault of waiting too long to contact him after – he'd been a bit too eager to let himself go again. I don't think his family appreciates this change of mindset though.

'Isn't Gon your pet already anyway?' I laughed softly when I heard another joke. He doesn't care anymore at this point, he merely sees me as a ways to let himself go in every way he can't in his profession. Makes one believe that his stoic state of mind is indeed the fabricated one, and that his animalistic side has been repressed for the sake of his profession. Of how much of this is he aware himself though, and how much does he simply accept as fact. That's the game.

'You just keep on giving tonight… But hmm~ yes, that is very much true. However, considering how much time we spend together, don't you think a pet would be nice?' Finding out if he's aware of this is not interesting, but finding out the extent of his power when brutal is. And for that, I will slowly drive him closer to the edge. Oh~ all the things he could do if he could control the extent of his killing aura. I want to learn about it, I want to teach you~

I gave him a small grin when he noticed the intensity of attention of him. He always knows when I'm playing some kind of game.

He rarely knows what kind of game though.

'Bring whatever animal you like. As long as it doesn't hinder me, I don't care. Same goes for whatever plan is brewing in the back of your mind.' I let my grin grow wider before he continued preparing to leave. '…and in the middle of your groin.' _Goodness how I love your shamelessness._

'What kind of animal should we take though…' I leaned back a bit more, keeping close watch. I am so very glad the items I need for Chrollo are very hard to break, else this little game would've ended before it'd started. The Kurta has become very elusive ever since taking the second item with him. On top of that, there's no guarantee he has it on his person. It's more fun because of his intelligence, but also more troublesome.

'It doesn't matter whatever animal comes under your care.'

'Such faith in my caretaking skills.' Although Chrollo already has use over his nen again, I am willing to postpone the fight until he's used these items. He knew beforehand that I'd do this, but it's of no disadvantage for me. I'll let him continue the search for now, and I will work on this front. I'll notice the results of his search when he searches out contact again concerning the first item in my hands.

'Based on previously observed evidence – you don't care about animals. Even though it's most probably just a joke on how our interaction has changed, I'm not helping you train it either way.' Well, I can't deny that it indeed started as a joke, but now I'm inclined to buy a pet either way. Although Illumi has a point, I do appreciate actual humans more than animals.

'Alright, I'll surprise you then.' He stopped in front of me to stare me down when he noticed the mirth in my voice. No matter when or how, surprises are Illumi's worst enemy – especially unnecessary ones such as these. I tilted my head back and to the side a little, not decreasing my amusement in the least, 'Don't worry, it won't inconvenience you. Consider it your birthday gift to me.' Because we were still close to the act, I was able to discern annoyance in his eyes. Although by now it's come to the point where he accepts me in the room after every mission - he is a solitary man, and any and all unnecessary human interaction is looked down upon. Quite literally at the moment, actually.

'Putting up with you isn't enough of a gift?' I laughed when I heard the sarcasm. _I like you so much more when we're in this room together._ But it's only because it's in such stark contrast with how you normally are that it enchants me, isn't it.

'Well that's more of a give and take situation, isn't it.' I had to admit though, that tonight I'd taken more than given. _Mmm~ but it'd been so long since the last time._ I have become slightly addicted to your scent, Illumi-kun.

'True.' He shrugged it off in the end and gathered his final equipment. I stood up at that point, and watched him tie his hair up for convenience before leaving the window without goodbye. I think I like it that a simple thing such as tying his hair back has stuck with him. I stood looking out the window a little longer, lingering on that pleasant feeling. Of course Illumi had disappeared the moment he left the window though. I licked my lips again and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath,

'Ooh~ Illumi-kun, you have no idea how deeply you involved yourself in this plan of ours.' It hadn't even been my intention, but a couple of words from Chrollo were all that had been needed.

"I need to know more about that power of Illumi's."

I hadn't even had to ask why – I'd understood, and I'd gladly accepted this change in mission.

Coincidence or not, this is the best discovery I've made since Gon.

Ah, speaking of which, I need to make sure when looking for the second item the Troupe leaves him alive if he's anywhere near Kurapika. Which, knowing him, he will most probably be in a strange sense of wanting to protect his friend.

Killua-kun is the real problem here though. If someone lays a hand on him in any of this, I'm sure Illumi will have my head.

'Mmm~ prolonged pleasure, really is the most satisfactory.' When I started to walk around the room in search for my own clothes, I noticed that they'd survived a little less well… I picked up the garments one after the other, giving them a disappointed look before grinning again at the reminiscence of the moments when they were torn apart.

'In a couple of weeks, you won't want to revert back to your stoic self, I'll make sure of that.' I don't think I mind risking Zoldyck wrath for that.

I threw the garments aside in favor of calling Chrollo right away.

* * *

'I know you like playing with your life, but I thought you wanted to stay alive long enough to fight Gon?' I turned around when I heard the leader's voice behind me. Merely an hour after my pleasant meeting with Illumi, Chrollo had asked to meet me. This was rare, but most probably just because he'd been in the neighborhood. I hadn't even been able to make my request when I'd called him, but still tonight was an exciting night, I haven't had the pleasure of being in the Leader's physical presence since he gave the "order".

'Oh don't worry, I have a healer for this.' I held the hand up which he'd gestured at, missing a piece of skin on the back exposing the tendons. For this meeting, I hadn't minded postponing my healing session – I'll take care of that tomorrow.

'Quite the healer then.'

'Yes they are. But for what reason are we having this little meeting today?' I lowered my hand again, and he pocketed his. For now I made sure to hide the wound.

'I need a set date for your success.'

'Oh~?' Well this was interesting. Suddenly there's haste behind it?

'You don't need to know why. But I know of your tendency to drag things along when they're interesting to you. You're going to give me date.' Well I can't deny that I do,

'Is there reason for me to oblige to this then?' He laughed a bit mockingly at the question, and my smile dropped, but he still answered,

'If we can't agree on a date I will carry this out on my own, and you can start over with trying to find me.' I felt my mood drop like a brick hearing him say that. Although I have leverage with my healer, I don't have any with Chrollo – he holds all the cards. He can do all he wants without the experiment on Illumi, it's merely preferred with the experiment done.

'You drive a hard bargain.' I reacted eventually.

'This is not a bargain, you seem to realize this very well.' That was definitely a mock in his smile. I deliberated a second before giving my offer,

'Alright then. I am certain I can have him tame in four weeks, how does this sound to you?'

'Acceptable. If I don't have results within that time, I will carry on on my own. Have a good night.' He disappeared seconds later, giving me a short nod goodbye. Just when I'm enjoying myself so much, he tells me this. You keep depriving me from my pleasure, Chrollo, it's only because you're worth the wait that I'm putting up with this.

I like to play my games hard anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

_This was troublesome._

I looked down from the balcony, taking a small break in the torture when I'd felt another presence nearby. Finishing the torture wasn't the troublesome part, the troublesome part was standing about 10m below me, giving me short wave. I sighed lightly before turning around and walking back in to make sure the job would be finished properly, Hisoka can wait.

He had already reached where he wanted to be, yet he continues to push the boundaries. If he wants to keep what he already has, he needs to stop doing that. I don't object to these after mission activities, but we're not expanding beyond that. He seems to be under the impression that because I have come to appreciate something I previously didn't, that his possibilities were endless.

He's in about the most favorable situation he can be in, he's not wise in antagonizing it.

'Are you still sure you're not talking?' I pushed the button, sending a stronger current of electricity through my target's body. Considering my client did not particularly care about evidence of torture being left, I'd opted to just take care of it here. Mind you that I was not leaving any hint that I'd been the one hired, though.

I stopped in front of my current results.

'There are still various ways left in which I can persuade you. I don't have to kill you, I am not ordered to do so. Do you want to know the record of my targets being kept alive?' He struggled against the metal cuffs around his wrists, I turned my eyes up to it. It was useless for him to do so, really. I'd attached the short chains into the wall with my own hands, for someone like him it would be impossible to break free.

'You're not understanding your situation yet. You wouldn't even wish for death anymore, you would just stop caring about what you say or don't. So you either spare me the time now, or I will just wait it out. I have more than a week left. Your choice.' I looked back at him, forcing his chin up and eyes open to look at me. He already knows there isn't a choice, but he is yet to obey. I let go of his face in favor of grabbing a couple more needles.

'You're torturing yourself, really.' I cocked my head, holding the new needles up. 'Mah, perhaps you actually like the pain, I'll have to reprogram your body then.' I forced both needles in the sides of his head simultaneously. He was allowed to scream all he wanted - there wasn't any surveillance on save for mine, and any guards in the near vicinity had already been taken care of. He didn't know this though, he still had the hope that someone would come to his rescue. Futile hope, he doesn't understand his situation at all.

The screams filling my ears were kind of underwhelming, actually. As soon as the needles were in though, I had his eyes fixed on one point, he couldn't look away anymore. He started violently shaking his head when he noticed, so I took out another needle,

'I can do that to any part of your body, do you really think it's going to matter to me? Or should I break another bone, does that work better with you? Perhaps I should try fire, flaying, or slow dismemberment. It's either that, or you tell me about the information.'

'He's not very talkative, is he.'

'What kind of reason could you possibly have to disturb me on a mission.' I reacted annoyed at the redhead having gotten too impatient, and implanted a needle to fixate the man's head movements for now.

Showing up at the place I had a mission was one thing, actually invading the workspace was another broken boundary. When I saw the man in front of me wanting to bite his tongue off, I stilted his jaw movement as well.

'He'll not be able to say a lot like that.'

'Why are you here.' I let my hand slide up his arm, and ended with taking a light hold of the top of his pinky. For a second I redirected my attention back to my mission, and started pushing the top to the side. I saw him starting to cringe, but he couldn't look away from me. 'Did you know that the anticipation of pain is often greater than the pain itself?' I pushed it to the side a bit further, before releasing it for a second. Tears of pain were already filling his eyes. I smiled at him before I pushed it with just enough force for it to be partially ripped off. 'Or I may be lying.' I dropped my smile again, his screams halted in his throat. Going on long enough like this, and he'll beg for his mouth to be able to open and give me everything he knows. People like him that don't note important information are quite troublesome. 'Has anyone ever told you that you get numb from pain after a while if it's focused on one area?' He didn't react, 'Unfortunately that's true. Although I have various ways to spread the pain over your entire body, I also have this.' I held up the syringe before sticking it in neck. 'That should keep your nerves aggravated.'

'My, I do love to see you at work like this.'

'I'd appreciate it that if you choose to put yourself in a bad position anyway, that you keep your aura to yourself, Hisoka.' I immobilized my victim's arms before finally turning my head to the redhead. Perhaps I should just quit these activities with Hisoka altogether. It's not unpleasurable though. But I've noticed how he gradually made me used to his visits up to the point where it would be strange if he wasn't there at my room otherwise.

'My apologies.' He accommodated to this order of mine,

'I don't care about apologies, why are you here?' I didn't blink once while Hisoka was stalling the moment.

'Would you believe it if I said I need information from this poor man myself?' I heard a couple of loud whimpers behind me when Hisoka casually pointed one of his long fingers his way. He got a short answer though.

'No.'

'Well if you're sure I'm going to lie anyway, why even bother to ask.' He turned his raised hand palm up in question before dropping it to his hip. I inclined my body his way a bit more.

'Why are you taking this kind of gamble? You know I'm not a slave to these activities.'

'Should I just keep it to showing up at your room from now then.'

'You're pushing it now to reduce the resistance of you showing up there even more? Are you pushing me to beg for it when you're not there?'

'Is it working.' He let out a soft laugh before saying those words. So that's not it then.

'Give me a second.' I blinked again when I heard the cries behind me, and chose to break the next bone in his pinky, and the one after that. I let it hang off the side of his hand before sticking a needle just next to the bone, down into the flesh of his hand, until it almost reached his wrist. 'There.' I could see he wanted to move this almost separated part of his body subconsciously, blood slowly oozing out, but he resisted the impulse. After a minute of watching this, I smiled again and reached up to slowly rip the finger off him. Hope in torture is only useful if you can take it away.

I answered Hisoka without turning back around, letting the dismembered finger fall to the floor.

'Something like that would only work if I was not aware of it.'

'Well then, is my presence working on your instincts switching yet?'

'We're not having sex here. Even though this man will give me all I need to know within the hour, you're going to relocate before I consider you enough of a hindrance to the mission that I'm obligated to take you out.'

'Oh~? But I know I wouldn't be able to distract you from anything if you were unaffected by my presence, isn't that so?' From the corner of my eyes I saw him shrug, coming to this conclusion. The point here was that he wasn't incorrect. Although barely noticeable, I wasn't completely in mission mindset. Hisoka being the single person to trigger this with me, he was the single person that could disturb the mission. These are usually satisfying moments to me, I don't like this interference.

'If you want me to revert completely to the way I was raised, that is no problem at all.' I tilted my head back a little, noticing I'd let out a small amount of killing intent. Doing that was already too much for me though, and I retreated the aura. Hisoka laughed when I did.

'Well, just make sure you don't turn into that beast, and you'll be fine. I'll wait right here.' I turned back when the sound of cries started dying down and I heard him trying to hold his breath to make himself pass out.

'You're very stubborn, it's very easy for me to force you to breathe. Do you want me to do that, or will you breathe on your own?' I blinked when I noticed he realized the threat was real, and turned around to paralyze Hisoka's wrist when he wanted to use the moment of "distraction" to grab hold of my arm. 'I won't kill you for wanting to distract me even more if you will let me paralyze you until I'm done.' He plucked the needle out of his wrist, but I didn't take it back. He raised his hands in innocence.

'Just my arms and jaw should suffice, shouldn't it?' I didn't hesitate for a second. When he started talking again, I shot the needles on the right places in his body, fixating his body like that of a puppets of how he last was standing.

I looked at him for another second before making the demand.

'If I see you again with this kind of intent outside of the intended room, I will take care of you the way I was taught by my parents, not by you. ' I turned back to the work at hand. Someone like Hisoka pushing the boundaries is a problem. Mah, I shouldn't have expected differently from him.

Either way, when the sex happens away from the mission, it really doesn't affect me. I noticed very early on. After a couple of weeks he suddenly showed up again, and noticed that the boundary for my body wanting to let go in his presence had decreased significantly. I'd resisted though. Hisoka is still a dangerous presence, and I need some kind of control even while we're having sex.

But he sometimes purposely pushes me to lose control completely and use that power, he's playing with his own life when does so. I appreciate the feeling while it happens, but as long as it's not needed to relieve otherwise stubborn stress, I don't appreciate the aftermath – I attract too much attention with it, and all mental function is shut down. That aftermath is only acceptable when I'm on my own, most certainly not with Hisoka.

The smell of battle together with agitation is a strong trigger though. It's only been a couple of days this time, he's most probably merely here to annoy me so I'll give him more. That's alright, I have a remote place I'm staying at this time. But Hisoka needs to be conditioned as well.

I can't say I ever expected to get used to or even… like, any activity besides my job though. It would be a shame if Hisoka would mess up the agreement.

'Do you want to be able to talk now? Or should I continue on your hand some more?' I cocked my head when I looked back at the face of regret. 'Or do you prefer electricity? I'm guessing with your aggravated nerves, that it should feel slightly more intense.' He closed his eyes for a while, taking a couple of hitched breaths from crying. When he opened them again, I took the pin out that fixated movement on his neck, and he nodded. 'You can scream all you want, you have realized that won't do anything for you, haven't you.' He gave another shaky nod before I released his jaw as well. Taking a couple of deep breaths as if he hadn't been able to breathe through his nose, he didn't look back up at me. 'Do I need to pad your teeth, or are you refraining from biting your tongue off as well?' I cocked my head, but he shook his, 'Ah, that's good to hear, it'll save both of us a lot of trouble that you're finally cooperating.' I said with a happy voice, and I saw him shiver when he heard the tone. It would've been even easier if I'd been allowed to use nen on him, but the suffering of my target had been a request as well – the more, the higher the pay.

'You're going to sign over all your belonging to my client, you're going to give me all the blackmail you have on him, or I will kill you right here. Which of these sounds most appealing to you?' His breathing calmed down in the moments of silence he got from me. Considering he was struggling to make the decision this much, he was most probably going to choose…

'Please just kill me.' …the latter.

'Ah, that won't do. I'm sorry, you didn't have the choice.' I pressed the button and let a new jolt of electricity run through him. 'You're going to tell me of the blackmail you have on him – after that you're allowed to die.' I heard him getting angry, 'You know that it's my purpose to make you hate me, I suggest you spare your breath and skip the cursing. You're only making it harder on yourself.' I lifted his chin again, and pinned his neck muscles once more.

'Allow me to move my eyes, and I'll—'

'Making demands?' I blinked at him, to me it was an incomprehensible request. 'You seem aware of the danger of the man behind me, and you still believe I will listen to demands from someone like-'

'I know what Hisoka's planning.' I sighed lightly to myself when he interrupted me.

'No you don't. You know his name because I mentioned it earlier, and it wasn't hard to deduce from our conversations that he's keeping secrets. Even if you did know of his plans, I would only increase your torture. You are not a smart man.'

'… …' When there was no direct action from him to that, I picked the needle from his hand and forced it down through his collarbone into his body. 'I'm not telling you anything!'

'That is kind of a weak response, don't you think?' I grabbed his jaw when he felt like biting down again. Not on his tongue though, so I reached inside his mouth and removed the molars that could contain poison. 'You can still talk this way. I thought you were going to be cooperative from now, but apparently you lied.' I released his jaw when I was done.

'I-'

'Yes, are you going to say something useful now?'

* * *

Although in the end Hisoka had released himself from the needles by stopping the ones in his arm a little with his nen, he'd stayed quiet until I'd gotten all the information needed, and killed him by pushing my nails through his neck. After removing all the pins, I'd left the premises with my surveillance after Hisoka had courteously returned the pins I'd put inside of him.

Naturally he'd still followed me to my room. Now that it was after mission I did not particularly care anymore, but his attitude needs to be corrected. He needs to be trained himself, no matter what kind of pet he has in mind.

'What gives you the idea you're still welcome?' I asked as soon as I stepped inside the room through the window, Hisoka following me close behind.

'Oh? Haven't I conditioned you yet that this is supposed to happen after mission?'

'Like I said before, that does not work if I'm aware of what you're doing.' I responded when he approached me from behind, and gently pulled my hair out of the way to kiss my neck. He refrained from doing so though when pins were pushed against his thigh. Now that we were away from my mission, I had no problem with making it clear that pushing boundaries was unwanted outside of the bedroom.

'Mentally that may be the truth, but your body seems to think otherwise. Your pulse has increased slightly.'

'Which will stop doing so the moment you step away.'

'But I feel so flattered that I'm so special to you that I can increase your beats per minute in anticipation.'

'If you do something now, you will either lose a limb, or you will become unable to find me. Choose wisely.' Those were the most prominent things I knew of to threaten him with. Killua will have to be taken back to the mansion if I have to enforce either of these things though, he would definitely go after him.

I stepped away from him and untied my hair. Hisoka momentarily distracted,

'You always say there's a choice, but there never really is, is there.'

'Same is with you.'

'You want me to give you an excuse to stay away from me. I feel even more flattered now.' I took my shirt off and threw it on the small desk before turning back around to him. His eyes slitted some more, absentmindedly licking his lips before removing his own shirt as well. Like I thought, he doesn't care about the consequences, he believes he will be able to find me again in the future anyway.

It's hard to train a stubborn dog like Hisoka.

'I don't pretend to understand what you see as flattery, but you wanted to do something? That's going to be hard with your pants on.' He let out a low chuckle when he heard those words, and layed a hand on his hip.

'Why don't you take the lead tonight?' I cocked my head hearing him say that, but didn't let it be told twice. I took one step closer and grabbed his arm, slinging him onto the bed. Since we were going to do this anyway, I crawled over him onto the bed immediately.

I was wary though, so I paused a moment, hovering my face just above his. He's more pleased with himself than he normally is.

'Need a bit more help getting there? You just want to get it over with so you can never be found again, right?' He reached his hands down, and opened my pants, but I didn't let him do more than that.

I grabbed his upper arms and pinned them beside him, immediately setting my teeth in his flesh just below his collarbone. I pulled on it, slowly protruding the skin, feeling the small drops of blood drip past my lips. I closed my eyes and alternated pressure to draw more blood from it, licking this up. My nails started to dig in his arms when I felt his moan vibrate past my lips. Might as well do this first while in this instinct. I will increase my stealth afterwards so he will be glad when he can find me at all, and merely the sex will be enough for him again.

' _Hmm~ yes, I think I like this side of you.'_ I ignored his words, and let go of his arms, gliding them to his chest. I took another lick of blood before trailing my tongue up to his lips. Already eagerly awaiting, he flicked out his and twirled it around mine, drawing me into his mouth, pulling me as far as I could go. I positioned myself a bit further up his abdomen for convenience, his fingertips traveling up my thighs to my ass. I moaned into the kiss when I felt his teeth biting down on my tongue. I pulled away a little to increase that feeling, taking a deep breath before I was let go and allowed to go for his neck. A lot of things have changed since I admitted to Hisoka I apparently had a specific attraction to him for some reason, but what hadn't, was that the smell of blood in this state of mind made it difficult for me to control myself. I relied on Hisoka to stop me when I'd start to absorb his flesh. Considering this was beneficial for his survival, this was something he could be trusted with.

I pushed back into his hands when he started kneading the flesh, and he inclined his head to be able to lick me along the neck up to my ear. He grazed his teeth along my skin, sending signals down for me when hearing his heavier becoming breathing so close. Tonight was going to be harder to contain myself, he'd agitated me more than previous times. So when he slid his hands under the hem of my pants and pulled them down, I stopped softly biting his neck and ear before that would get out of hand. Instead, I sat back up on my knees, pulling Hisoka with me by his hair, forcing him against my chest. I flipped my hair to one side when I noticed he didn't waste the time and slid one hand underneath me in between my cheeks. My arms finding their way around his shoulders, he set his teeth in my nipple the same time one of his fingers slid in. I closed my eyes and let my head fall on his when a gasp escaped me.

His free hand slid around my torso and scratched into my skin. I felt myself grow in between us when he drew some more blood. His hand almost trembling in the need tonight. _This night, it's so important to yo-_

' _Aah..!'_ I let out in the mess of red hair beneath me when he found the right spot inside of me, and ushered him to do it again.

When he wouldn't and instead pulled out, my hand relocated to around his neck, and slowly started to increase the grip – he had to use his nen not to get choked, and I whispered,

'You're getting inside of me again right now.' I felt a shiver travel through his skin before his hands retreated to himself, and he opened his pants. I pushed him away just the slightest to witness the act, Hisoka looking nowhere else but to me. Was I losing control, or was I merely annoyed by tonight?

I released my grip enough for him to speak up when I noticed he wanted to do so.

'I think it will need a bit more work though.' I slid my pants further down so I could kick it off before spreading my knees over him so that I was sitting on his legs, taking both our hardening erections in my free hand. I leaned my forehead against his, both of us breathing out heavily when I stroke along the lengths. It didn't take long for his hands to claw in the flesh of my hips – but I never let go of his neck completely.

Closing my eyes, I had to force myself not to set my nails in that part of us. Hisoka pushed against his restraint after a small while, and bit down on my bottom lip, pulling me with him. Inclining my head, I could hear the excitement in his trembling breaths, and I stopped my hand, instead hovering above his lips when he'd let go. My breaths were shallow, my mind far away in the back, I could feel aura seeping out… but Hisoka wasn't stopping me, and it was becoming impossible for me to.

_How in love are you with this power that you're risking your life for it._

_'Hmm~ I think now it's very much possible._ ' Once the whispered words had left his lips, I lifted and lowered myself over him, my hand finally gliding away to his shoulder and down over the wound I'd created earlier. I clutched my nails in the skin surrounding it, wanting to tear it out, Hisoka's loud groan the only thing distracting me from doing just that. My other hand slipped into his hair at the back of his neck, and clutched it tightly in between my fingers.

I wanted to lift and lower myself to start finding the right position again, but it was at this point that Hisoka stopped me. He increased the grip on my hips and kept me down.

When I opened my eyes again to protest against this, the first thing I noticed was that he hadn't succeeded in shielding himself from me completely; the second thing I noticed was when he nudged towards the ringing sound with a grin.

'Shouldn't you get that?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohoho, and I'm being mean right off the bat, aren't I xD
> 
> But I had so much fun torturing, you have no idea. I could write an entire fic merely about Illumi torturing someone and I'd have fun from start to finish 8D


	3. Change of plans

My body protested against my mind all the way when I realized I'd neglected to call in at the agreed to time for the first time. I needed to get off, but after coming this far, it was very hard for me to do so – I didn't want to. 'Here, let me help you.' Extending his bungee gum, Hisoka pulled the phone my way, and I caught it without problem, immediately picking up - not moving from my spot, Hisoka still pulsing excitedly inside of me. It was not making it easier for me to focus, but I still refused to get off him.

'My apologies for not-'

_'Making excuses, Illumi?'_

'Of course not, father.' I lay my hand around the redhead's neck again when I noticed he wanted to buck his hips. Still in a dangerous mood, I let it be known in our eye contact that his actions were not appreciated even though he was still inside of me.

_'Finish up the mission, then make your way back to the mansion.'_

'Understood.' Hanging up afterwards, I looked at the cause of this situation, grinning up at me, looking satisfied even without finishing. _I'd dissolved flesh on his collarbone as well though, this was bad._ It should merely be stress-relief for me when there is no other way to get my mind straight again – not a sexual activity.

I blinked once before finally making the decision to step off him. A satisfied moan exited Hisoka's throat when he was left bare. He already started to finish himself before I turned around,

'Seems like our last sexual encounter will be cut short.' He stopped a moment to give his answer,

'I wish you a good life then.' Slightly narrowing my eyes at him, it was hard to believe he would leave me alone for more than a week with this kind of eagerness…

Oh well, it's his problem from now, I'll deal with it when it comes.

It's not actually working though, is it, mutually trying to control each other.

'Stay away from Killua and have fun with Gon.' A second later he released unsubtly, and I sighed lightly at the predictability of that timing. 'Knowing you that's not going to be hard.' Realizing my choice of his words and hearing Hisoka's inhale, I continued while getting dressed. 'Mah, you're always playing it hard though.' He laughed hard hearing that, and gave me a knowing grin before I left the room.

First things first, I need to find out why father sounded so displeased…

* * *

 _Even though he'd made that threat, it had been so easy to see he wouldn't follow through._ That, combined with how much he's willing to put up with just to have this contact could do nothing else than excite me even more. I have to say for all the displeasures Chrollo's timetable is giving me, finding that out had been a plus side.

Some people had less faith in Illumi returning on his own than I had though,

'He's just playing a game, don't worry, I'll be able to deliver once you've found the second item.' The day after that night, I'd given Chrollo the news that Illumi would probably stay at the mansion for a little while longer than normal, and felt the need to remind me he didn't have infinite time. _How could I forget._ You should have a bit more faith in my judgment concerning him though. I've known him a little longer than you have.

 _'Illumi does not play games like that, Hisoka. When he says he's not going to appear, he will not appear. These could very well be orders from his family, and he will not disobey that.'_ Although that was usually true,

'Don't worry, I know of ways to contact him. He already showed me more last night than he has before, visiting him more often helps it going the right way.' I padded the side of my face where another piece of skin was still missing – luckily the flesh was still on it. I felt up to my shoulder as well. My collarbone had been a bigger risk, he'd almost gotten through to the bone. That will be sore for a while, even when I get healed for it.

 _'I hope that you have a trustworthy healer then. How much of a chance do you have to come out of this alive.'_ Although I know of his intentions, I can never resist a tease,

'So concerned about my well-being, I'm flattered.'

 _'Don't die before you've succeeded.'_ I grinned looking down from the rooftop, waiting for a dear friend. The cold wind was slightly agitating the bare skin on my face, but I didn't particularly mind,

'You're really eager to see the tests, aren't you. Before you knew of this, you had no problem whatsoever to use the items without proof.'

 _'I'm not going to repeat myself Hisoka. Realistically speaking, what are the chances of you succeeding with Illumi within the month?'_ _You're a lot less playful than last time, something happened._ My grin dropped a second while calculating this in all honesty though. I either need to get inside or invited into the mansion, or lure him out. The second option is easier using Killua – but he's hard to find now that the blonde is hiding the boys even better than himself. Before I can reach Illumi again, will be no more than a week. Then it's making him accept me again, submitting, letting himself go and learning how to control it… I counted it off on my fingers,

'70%'

_'I know what needs to be done, those calculations cannot be correct.'_

'They are. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a healer to go to.' I hung up without waiting for a reply when I saw my target taking a walk on his own like agreed to down the electrical lighted streets. I waited until he noticed me, and he stopped a second to turn around and his eyes panned up to mine. Seeing that disdainful look made me break out in a smile, and I worked my way back to the ground with a couple of quick jumps before meeting my healer in a small side street.

He walked on ahead of me for this. We've had these encounters before, by now there's this routine.

'Well, you're certainly not taking your time like you promised. This is the third time in two weeks.' I smiled thinking about those good times. None of them having been as intense as this one though.

'My dog is becoming more obedient, I can't help it that he's so enthusiastic.' It's interesting that Illumi doesn't inquire to where I'm letting myself be healed from that – he should know not just anybody can do this. He really has no interest in my doings when it doesn't concern him, does he. He _should_ have more interest, it's quite the weakness,

'Actually you can, or you can just put him down. What has he done this time.' The moment we were out of sight, and outside the presence of any kind of nen, he turned back around to me and activated his own while waiting for me to point it out. Although cooperation had been difficult to get, once that was settled it was really quite convenient.

'I think this one is not hard to miss,' pointing at my face, he rolled his eyes at the obvious wound, '…but he also got a hold of my collarbone, a little lower on my chest, and I believe a piece on my waist.' I took the shirt off with the uninjured shoulder to show the results. It's interesting though, up 'till now skin only disappeared where his mouth'd been – this time his hands had also done some of the work. He quirked an eyebrow when he saw the results. I think I'm the only one happy with all this,

'Well if anything, you've proven to be obsessed and have no will to live whatsoever.'

'Was there any question about that?' He gestured to step closer so he could take care of my collarbone first, reaching his hand up to it, and focusing intensely. I'd be lying if I'd say I didn't find it fascinating to see him work. From the moment I'd gotten Illumi more interested and the wounds increased in intensity, a healer had been a necessity, but this way it doesn't really feel bothersome,

'He may not have reached bone, but he did snap a muscle. If you want to die so much, I can help you right now.' I felt amused by how quickly he would fight me if he found out I did not have near the leverage he thinks I have. _You really are a sucker for keeping what you see as treasure, just like Chrollo._ I moaned satisfied when the muscle was starting to be regenerated, and attached back to where it needed to be. It took him a while, and it was hard to keep our activities hidden this time. The other injuries were easier done, but the one on my waist seemed to give him some trouble as well. I can't say that part had felt particularly well, no. He let out a deep breath when he was done, and hid his presence completely again. I checked the results before putting my shirt back on. _I am very glad to have been able to convince you for this._ While I was still buttoning up, I noticed the fatigue was not invisible in him. He told me from the first time he helped me that these were not normal wounds, and regenerating something that basically wasn't there anymore, was not an easy task.

And of course that I should be grateful for this help, that I wouldn't survive without him. Yes, I am very much aware of that.

'This is taking a lot out of me. I know you want to stretch this event, but for the love of god, I can't heal it if he corrodes through vital organs, you know this. I'm not a goddamn necromancer.' He reached up to his head, rubbing his eyes, trying to get the fatigue out of them. I will tone it down then if it's making him show this fatigue in front of me.

'Concerned for my safety, how precious.'

'You know damn well I'm not concerned about yours.' He took a deep breath before looking back up at me again with a death threat in his eyes. It had the opposite effect though, I smiled down at him. _I like that look with you. '_ Please stay away from me, and learn to control your goddamn dog.'

'I'm working on that. But he's got sharp fangs.' He let out a deep, exasperated sigh, poking me unsubtly on the still sensitive spot on my abdomen, getting an oomph out of me,

'Any more puns, and I will turn this leverage against you. Good luck on the muscles reattaching to the right point when I do, because I will not warn you when I've decided to turn this around.' I gave him another smile,

'Be careful though, actions like that might warrant unwanted consequences.'

'No need to concern yourself with my safety either, I'll be just fine as long as you stay away.' I decided not to retort. Although I have the end leverage, we have quite the hold on each other, I'm not risking too much.

He disappeared when he noticed I took his words seriously. I rubbed over the collarbone and rolled my shoulder a bit to check the movement. That will indeed be sore for a while. He does a good job, but I know Illumi's wounds are hard to heal.

_But it's so exciting._

When a shiver went through my skin, I noticed a reduced effect even with what was healed last time. That won't do.

Oh well, on to more important matters.

To find out how to lure Illumi out, or find my way into the mansion?

Choices, choices.

* * *

_'I'm not obligated to call in, I'm guessing this is because I normally still do?' I walked towards the mansion's front doors where father was waiting for me at the expected time. I'd made more haste in returning, because dissatisfaction about my work usually doesn't exist. I should've stood with the initial thought to just cut it off before last night._

_'We'll discuss this inside.' I cocked my head when he turned around without saying anything else,_

_'No punishment first?'_

_'Do you want that?' He didn't stop opening the doors, and walked in as if I hadn't made the suggestion. I refrained from answering to follow. This was strange behavior for him as well, if there was dissatisfaction, there were physical repercussions. Why was I called back?_

_I closed the door behind me when we stepped inside one of his rooms in silence, and he sat down. Considering this was father in front of me, I remained standing until ordered otherwise._

_'Why are you not shaking Hisoka off when he's distracting you from your job?' Ah! This was because of Hisoka's interference in my last mission. I didn't immediately know how to answer to this, so he continued, 'Ever since you had to use that hazardous trick to calm down again, you have not cut him out of your life. Are you so distracted by these sexual activities with him that you're letting it impede your judgment?'_

_'Last night has been an exception, normally he doesn't show himself until after everything's been taken care of.'_

_'Why is he provoking you.' His attention on me became more intense. That I'd been monitored after what happened in that week with Hisoka, I can understand. I can also understand father's concerns, but as long as Hisoka stays away from the actual missions, it does not impede my work – the reason we didn't talk about it 'till now._

_'He likes to play.' I inclined my head, but the answer was not satisfactory, and he took a deep breath._

_'You've had other moments where your calming method has been triggered, haven't you?' I gave a short nod, 'It only activates around him?'_

_'Up until now, he's been the only one to irritate me enough to get to the point where I can activate it, yes.' Considering this, I am more conditioned to these after-mission activities than I'm aware of._

_'Perhaps he wants to provoke this because he believes you'll be able to control it?' I doubt that he does all of this just because it perhaps feels pleasant._

_'He only knows the part of the story that Milluki told Kil. He will die on his own over time continuing this. Do you want me to take care of him in the near future, or let him kill himself?' In the end, none of his wounds will be able to heal anymore, no matter how skilled the healer. He doesn't seem to be aware of that side-effect yet. Even if he was, he would not stop doing this though._

_'… …' There was a moment of deliberation with father. This was a strange meeting. Normally the only communication would be over a mission, considering it's been a long time since I had to receive punishment. 'Confine him. I have a use for him.'_

_'He will like being confined.' For me, that decision did not make sense, but I chose not to question,_

_'Doesn't matter. The secret will be kept. You don't remember everything about what happened either, do you?'_

_'…No.' There's gaps in my information knowledge. The first time I went berserk, I don't remember doing any of it. Apparently something else happened that he's going to use Hisoka._

_'Good. Come back to the mansion immediately after.'_

_'Understood.' I suppressed the curiosity in favor of not defying father any more than I'd already done – my younger brothers are causing enough problems already._

_However, I'd always been strictly forbidden to use this method unless there was no other way, it was strange that I was not reprimanded doing this now._

After that strange conversation, I'd pushed back the doubt completely and had waited for Hisoka to try and contact me again. With his eagerness I'd predicted it wouldn't take long, but even for him this was giving in very quickly. It only took him three days to decide he wanted to have me available again. Hiring me for a mission because you believe that will always get me out of the mansion? You're more simpleminded than I thought. If I'm told not to leave the premises, then I'm not leaving the premises. But after having been called back, I received no such order – you only needed to believe that. The only reason I'm still here is because we knew you'd walk into this voluntarily. You panic so easily over this Hisoka, that's not like you. Who are you panicking for?

* * *

'… …'

'You didn't expect this to be a normal hit, did you.' I felt amused seeing the surprise in his expression. Without Chrollo's demands I would have taken the time, test if he'd actually miss it, this alternative is for my partner alone. Mah, it wasn't even an alternative I chose because I liked it, also just because I'm pressed for time. That little factor is putting a bit of a damper on this game. One would start to think Danchou is not very fond of me.

'By all means, you are more than capable to take care of yourself, so of course I didn't. You're merely using this to get me out of the mansion.' He stood back up from his crouched position, still constantly monitoring his surroundings. This is not something that will take a lot of time, it was just a necessity. 'How desperate are you for me.'

'Very.' He stopped looking around to land his eyes on mine, apparently analyzing me. There was a lot of information going through him in just a couple of seconds, and just as always it was hard to tell whether it would go the way I wanted or not. 'Will you still take care of it for me?' He slightly narrowed his eyes at me at the insult. Of course I didn't have to ask, I paid for it, so he'd simply do it.

He turned his eyes back to the target in the building across the street, readying a needle.

'I take it you don't care it's clear it was a hit?' After shrugging I saw the needle flying through the glass of the window and stuck inside the target's chest. He took a couple of surprised steps, the both of us observing it as he raised a hand to his chest, noticing there was a tiny hole venting some blood,

'You could've just hit the artery in the neck, it would've been quicker.'

'Your preferences are not for quick.'

'He'll call an ambulance at this rate.'

'The poison will be dizzying him too much to do that.'

'Oh how I love you.' His head snapped back to me when he heard the words. I didn't look back, instead raising a hand to my lips, observing the man trying to keep himself standing – if the poison wouldn't take him out, the blood slowly filling his chest cavities would. It was a race to see what would win. It's too bad I can't see which is the winner from this distance.

Illumi took his attention away from me after a while, crouching down again, observing the death as well. I can understand why my words had piqued his interest for a second though – "He would never say something like that without putting something behind it." "He's incapable of emotion like that." "He's using this to mess with my mind, that's always his goal." Stuff like that… _Well, I have to make it fun for myself one way or the other, don't I._

When I looked back down at him, I caught a glimpse of his calculating eyes again,

'You used an alias to hire me, you're aware of the chance my family has an eye out for you, but you're still using these tricks to get close to me, what is your accomplice aiming at?' Although I smiled back down at him, I needed to be very careful in what I'd tell him.

So when it took too long for his tastes to get an answer, he looked back at his work, and I followed his line of sight to enjoy the view.

'You're making me used to your presence, trying to condition me to "want" these activities and aggravating me. Either someone is asking you to do this, or you're more obsessed than you want to be. Considering I never found out why Chrollo held interest in this berserk side of me, I'm guessing that's why you're annoying me.'

'So you finally found out.' I wasn't entirely too pleased with that. Meanwhile, the poison was taking it's time behind the window on the other side of the broad street.

'You have a skilled healer, to say the least. How long has it been since you spoke with Chrollo face to face.'

'A while. You did not put a deadly poison in our dear target, did you.'

'No I didn't.' I laughed a little, and closed my eyes.

'So you're the one playing with me tonight.'

'I don't play like you do.' _I beg to differ…_ 'If you merely wanted to see this berserk side of me, you could've provoked me a lot better; you're making me used to it.'

'Correct again.' The way this is going, it will all depend on whether he objects to this experiment or not… that is not exactly what I've been aiming for.

'What are you two going to use me for? Are you still trying to get that item from Kurapika?' If I didn't know him better, he sounded like he was mocking us for our inabilities.

'There's a way to control the outburst of this berserk mode of yours.'

'I don't need that mode to be able to carry out my job, and it only activates near you and even then I need to allow it on some level. Why would I be interested in getting it under control just to do your work? You know I'd not be easily persuaded that you lied your way around it, or you're merely being inefficient for your own pleasure again.' _You're on a roll tonight._ I looked down beside me again, but he kept his eyes straight ahead. 'And if you're going to convince me to become stronger before Killua surpasses me, you can save your breath. He will be back to serve the family before that happens, and I don't need to control him anymore after that.'

'You're not curious in the slightest, are you?'

'Why would I be.' He raised another needle when he felt he'd gotten everything out of this that he wanted, and shot his artery open. A spray of blood came out of his neck before he slowly stumbled to the ground. 'Father decided that it would be put away, I trust his judgment.'

'…So we're going to your room tonight?' He stood up and turned around before he answered. _I want to pin you down on this cold roof and make you admit you need it, but I can wait to whatever room you have in mind._

'Well I don't have a room and not a lot of time, so we could just do it right here.' I blinked at him when I heard him agreeing. But I took a small breath when I realized he was merely agreeing because it was an agreement. Plus he was now extra on-guard not to let himself go. This was getting a bit hard.

Illumi taking his shirt off on the spot also did not make the situation softer, by the way. I watched him do all of this with great interest, and saw him taking off his gear as well before turning back to me. When we started our little game months ago, he'd had the greatest trouble in being defenseless in front of me. Oh what progress there had already been made.

'Are you waiting for me to take the lead again?' I huffed when I heard those taunting words. Considering he was still very close, I reached out for his neck and pushed his lips forcefully against mine. I took a deep breath and let out a moan when I got some satisfaction out of this game again. Playing is only fun if there's pay-off in the end, and I did not mind to having some of that right now.

He pulled himself closer by my waist and inclined his head, opening his mouth slightly and licking along my lips before biting down on the bottom one. Taking another breath, I let my hands travel up and down his back. I let my tongue travel along his jawline to his neck, sucking and biting on the flesh while my fingertips scratched over his back. Hearing his breath increasing close to my ear was doing wonders for my excitement.

This excitement was replaced with carefulness when he let himself go a bit too quickly to still finish our game, and I had to increase the protection on my neck. Considering I still liked to survive this, I pulled him away from there. I wanted to continue my actions nonetheless, but I had to force him away completely when I noticed his hands were indeed doing the same his mouth was. _You did it on purpose this time, didn't you._

We both looked at his hands that held pieces of me, and he delicately snaked his fingers while it dissipated into his skin. I touched on my waist to check the skin was indeed missing.

'Ah!' I raised an eyebrow when he exclaimed this. 'There's a change in our agreement, by the way.' I lowered it again immediately after. What was happening tonight? I disappointedly watched him get dressed again. That did not last nearly long enough to be satisfactory,

'We've just gotten started, wouldn't you like to finish it?' Part of me was demanding to continue despite the danger, actually,

'No. You will come to the mansion with me.' My smile dropped,

'Excuse me?' He turned his eyes back to me, but didn't continue. If Illumi is aware of my motivations, then the rest of the family surely is as well. He's gotten permission to do whatever needed to get something out of me, hasn't he? It's either that, or it's an invitation to my death. I huffed when the second thought went through me. If they wanted me to die, they would come to me, not use tricks to lure me to them.

'You're allowed to help me control it, but I've just been told to cut this short.' He cocked his head and pointed at his ear. _In-ear bugs, I should've known._ I laughed shortly when I noticed I'd missed something like that completely, and that whatever was waiting for me at that mansion could not be anything else than a trap. Still Illumi invited me so bluntly, he must be very convinced I'm desperate for this.

'I'll consider.'

'You're coming along now, or contact will be broken permanently.' I huffed indignantly hearing that ultimatum. _Well the fun is being sucked right out of this game more and more, isn't it._ I will even be away from healing, I won't be able to provoke Illumi anymore during sex or whenever I'm close to him. I will be forced to focus on nothing more than learning him to control his berserk side.

That's it, isn't it. They found out I can most easily aggravate Illumi into this side, so they want to use me as a tool. There is no reason to help Illumi get this control though, like he so eloquently explained earlier.

How very interesting…

 _You're keeping things from your son, aren't you?_ Because Illumi will not so easily question or backtalk with you unless it's completely preposterous to him.

'I'll be going.'

'I won't even be allowed to go in for healing first?' He already walked to the edge while I offered that. _Not that my healer would be happy seeing me again so soon…_

'Those wounds are skin only, they will heal on their own.' _You're a cruel mistress._ But that's what I like about you,

'Then I will simply follow.' I calmed myself down over all this, and took a small breath before giving the answer and jumping after him. Illumi will not be forced into keeping contact, I don't really have a choice. But knowing there's more behind this strange side of his, I'm willing to take the risk.

Should I fear for my life, Illumi-kun?


	4. Games

Well I had expected a lot of things…

 _'You will be staying here.'_ _I looked up at the small building that looked like little more than a shack. Not exactly comparative to anything else on this property._

_'That's it?' You must all really love having me here._

_'Were you expecting to be killed?'_

_'Somewhat, yeah.' At least that would've given me some kind of excitement, this is just beyond dull._

_'You're not coming in contact with the rest of the family unless they want to themselves. Meanwhile you'll get your instructions through me.'_

_'You actually meant it when you said you weren't curious...' Somewhere I'd hoped that had been said to taunt me._

_'I leave the curiosity to father, concerning this.' I turned my eyes back to him,_

_'Then it's simply "trust" in your family?'_

_'I'm not going to start asking questions because of_ your _curiosity, Hisoka.' Too bad... that could've made things a lot more interesting very quickly,_

_'Well that's a shame. I take it I will not be allowed to leave the premises before my use is over?'_

_'Of course.' These exclusive rights to Illumi sure come with a lot of terms and conditions._

_'How are you going to keep me here?'_

_'You came here of your own choice, it's not needed to confine you.' I let out a small huff that that was the matter of fact. Have you become my exploitable weakness, Illumi-kun? I may have not thought this one through entirely…_

_'A little trick your father whispered to you?'_

_'You're not a mystery concerning these things Hisoka.' I reached my hand out towards him to get at least something out of tonight, and was surprised that I was allowed to touch his face, he didn't object at all._

_'… … you're not backing away?'_

_'It's very simple. I will trigger into berserk whenever I feel like it when you do things like this, I am allowed to do this. So this is all at your own risk, because we're not healing you.' I dropped my hand immediately again, and Illumi disappeared from my sight._

…beyond all expectations I'd been let in without an inkling of danger for my life.

I was even put to stay at a – comparatively – small house away from everyone. I hadn't spoken to anyone, he'd just dropped me here. It's boring to say the least.

I'm to stay here and just wait until they're going to use me? They have to know better than that. I haven't even been forbidden anything, just that I'm to sleep here and need to stay on the premises. What are you planning for your son, Silva?

I looked around the small room again and noticed absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. There was a bed, there was a small table, and apparently they _had_ accounted for that I need food to survive. I'd also been left a couple of things to occupy myself with, but it felt more insulting than that it helped. _Aaah~, this place really will not do._ First Chrollo taking all the fun out of it, and now Illumi as well. I have better things to do than simply stay here and wait to be used.

Well, if they're not putting any extra security on me, then I take it I'm allowed to go anywhere at my own risk.

I stopped walking to the still open door when I noticed my phone ringing and checked the number before picking up.

 _Well, this might get interesting after all._ Thank you for your timing, dear healer.

'What a treat, to have you calling me.' It wasn't necessarily a good thing though. If he's calling me voluntarily, it probably means there's a life threatening situation at hand.

I took a more casual stance, waiting for his response, and sighed to myself,

I like hard games, but this is becoming too much.

* * *

I hadn't really expected for Hisoka to be _this_ obedient, I have to admit. There's been no protest whatsoever - he even confessed to the why he wanted to teach me to control this power. To them I'm merely a guinea pig to see if the effect of those two items does what they've been told it does – which is supposedly an increase in power. What do you need a power increase for, Chrollo?

I know Hisoka likes to fight, but I'd think that with this many factors weighing against him, that he'd just choose to fight Chrollo now instead of waiting for a way that might make him stronger. For his doing, he's being irrational.

I threw my hair loose while getting undressed and ready for bed. I brought Hisoka here like I'd been told, and from now on we'll use him to get this power under control. I can't say I'm comfortable with not knowing why. But having Hisoka here actually helps a great deal. It means I can do whatever I want outside of our property, and I won't be bothered. That is a plus side. On top of that, no more unexpected surprise or advances; for the first time actually, I'm pulling all the strings with him.

'…Ah.' I think I like that. I stopped in the middle of the room when I realized this, and pulled off my shirt, throwing it on a nearby chair. Hisoka will still play at the fact that it's actually my father in control, but that doesn't take my power over him away.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, and looked out into infinity to straighten my thoughts a little, folding my hands. It was strange to be relieved of the stress of having to figure out what Hisoka's planning. It felt like a dangerous thing to do. Well, relaxation is a luxury in my life either way. I closed my eyes and raked my hair back again to start braiding it for the night. I am very much aware that tying it back is something that stuck from Hisoka's words, but it doesn't hurt my job so I don't care.

I cracked my neck left and right while working on my hair, ready to turn in for the night in a couple moments and start this new training tomorrow, but was interrupted.

I opened my eyes again when I heard my phone ringing. I took the call with the unknown number, figuring it was just another job, and let the caller speak first,

 _'Am I speaking with Illumi Zoldyck?'_ Unknown voice as well.

'Ah, yes you are. Who are you and who do I need to kill.' It took a couple seconds longer before I got a response. 'You can use an alias, I don't care as long as you're able to pay my price. But I will either need a name, or an address and half the fee paid up front.'

 _'Can we forego the name completely if I pay the full price up front?_ ' I blinked hearing that, and stood back up from the bed, ready to start up the computer and see where this call could be tracked to. Because not willing to part with a name or alias suggested that I might actually be acquainted with him, which was odd.

'I can understand you have faith in my abilities and I accept the offer, but I still need information on what I need to do, or an address where we meet so we can discuss it in private. If you choose the latter I will still need to know how many people I'm supposed to kill and what their fighting ability is to determine the price.' I get calls like this more often though. Somehow even when they want someone dead, it's hard for a lot to actually say it. Technically I understand why, but I'm still the one doing the killing, they shouldn't be bothered with it.

_'It concerns three nen-trained people guarding someone.'_

'It'll cost you extra for nen-users, no matter their skill-level.'

 _'That's not a problem.'_ So either he's very rich, or he's a hunter himself. If the last one's the case, I think I'm raising the price, because then it's enemies he refuses to take on himself.

'I'll send you my price in a minute, and you send me the money and address where you need us to meet. Is this agreeable to you.' Formal question, this is the bare minimum I will work with. I won't take the job with less than that,

 _'It is. I'll await your response.'_ He hung up after, and I started using both hands to check where the call had been tracked to. It gave me little insight though, it was both an unknown voice and an unknown location, apparently. I'll prepare for the chance of traps then.

Closing the computer again, I realized that when I'd leave the premises, Hisoka would most probably start to wander and try to figure out how to leave without being killed if my mission takes too long. The only thing keeping him there then, would be the threat of my family. Mah, that's enough.

I halted in walking back to the bed when I felt a known presence outside the mansion, and sighed to myself, realizing that rest was most probably not happening tonight with these interruptions. It would be a bad thing if he'd already try to break in on the first night. I think I failed to calculate Hisoka's lack of judgment when it comes to these situations. _I will not save you when your life's in danger, Hisoka._ But for now, you're a tool to the family, and you will obey to keep yourself alive.

I took my time in walking down the stairs, to the front door where he seemed to be wandering a bit aimlessly. _You just came here to attract my attention didn't you._ You're going to have a problem if you're already bored after two hours of being on your own.

'Didn't take you long to try and find your way in.' Hisoka stopped in his tracks before even doing his first attempt to get inside when he saw me standing in the doorframe. While walking down, the braid had already slipped out, and he gave me a long look, 'You know you will not survive if you keep provoking me through sex. Not without a healer.' I felt willing to assert a little dominance tonight though,

'Who said I was trying to find my way in?' He looked too interested not to have something planned. He threw his arms wide, raising his voice, 'I was just wondering if you were feeling like starting training early.' I raised a brow at that proposition. _I know you're bored, but even you must know that that's not going to happen._

'It's four am.' I leaned my shoulder against the doorframe.

He lowered one of his arms, moving his other forward to invite me,

'Then perhaps I can offer you a quiet game of chess?' I crossed my arms, giving him a blank stare for a couple of seconds. _You're behaving oddly._ It's the same behavioral deviation as when he suddenly put a rush on needing to see me – someone else is dictating these actions with him. _For someone as solitary as you, you have a lot of people controlling you._ He's being an idiot over all of this. 'Well?'

'… …I don't have objections to that.' In the first place my decision had been to reject anything he'd offer – and Hisoka is not going to make it a quiet game – but if I'm not going to sleep tonight, then a game doesn't sound bad either way. He'll try and find any way to escalate it without me triggering, but I'm allowed to punish him if he does. So no, I didn't object.

After those words I stepped out in my sleeping clothes, walking past the redhead, taking a small sprint with him to where he was staying. I can't say I was not surprised that when we reached the place a minute later, an actual board had already been set up. So he really hadn't intended to break into the mansion, had he. We house a lot of secrets and he must be aware of this, he _has_ to be curious on some level – especially with so many factors weighing against him.

'Take your seat.' He offered me the side of the white pieces, and I sat down on the pillow next to the low table. We put him in the smallest available space on our property, I didn't exactly understand why this was needed. Keeping Hisoka from acting up while he's here should be priority, shouldn't it.

'How quiet do you actually want it to be, or are you already expecting me to keep talking all through our match.' I followed Hisoka, watching him take his shirt off for no apparent reason before sitting down on the other side. Whatever his reason for stripping, I could clearly see the places where I've previously absorbed skin. It's already healing worse than before – no matter the skill of his healer that will not get better in a natural way.

'How deep did I go with your collarbone?' That place seemed particularly less healed than the rest. He reached his hand up to it, gently gliding a finger along the skin,

'I don't think your interest should be there, but if you must know, you almost corroded the bone itself.' I raised an eyebrow, and activated my nen to try and examine the presence of the healer a bit more – because being able to regenerate muscles as well is too much skill. But Hisoka didn't allow me to do this. Why is it important you keep their identity to yourself? You won't use them anymore either way. 'You're curious now? Aren't you more curious that you started absorbing through your hands as well?'

'There's few healers who can achieve what they have with you – especially at the rate with which you have to be healed.'

'Indeed there are.' I mimicked his position in laying an arm over my raised knee, and made the first move.

'You're working for Chrollo _and_ protecting a healer? All that trouble just to be able to help me control this nen?'

'I like my games complicated.' _That's nothing new, what's new is the amount of control you're allowing them to have over you._ He made his countermove a couple seconds later. I scoured the board, calculating the possibilities before giving my answer to his move a minute later.

'Absorbing through something else then my mouth has happened before, and I was aware of it tonight. I only need to find out if it's the next step in the process so we can build on it, or if it's a step in the wrong direction which means I'll need to learn to subdue it.' I looked back up at him when I felt his attention was not on the game. 'You're thinking about that right now?' His smile appeared before he lay his head down on his arm,

'It's going the right way, it's supposed to spread. You'll have to allow to let this alien power "become" you, more so than with simply letting yourself go berserk. That's what we need the control for.' He made his move without looking down at the game. How do you know this much about it? Is this information Chrollo provided you with? How is _he_ aware of it?

'You're giving information now?' I raised my voice a little.

'No use in keeping it from you when we have a common goal.'

'You share a goal with father, I have no goal.' I did the same as him, and kept eye contact before giving the turn back to him. 'Although it's still unclear what either of you is planning, I've noticed it becoming slightly harder to control over the past months, so I don't object completely.'

'Oh? You suddenly feel like you have a reason after all? Wouldn't it all be solved by breaking contact with me?'

'There's a small possibility that that wouldn't do it.'

'How come that that might not do it?'

'It's true that I'm unable to activate it without interference from you, but this isn't my original state.' He simply raised an eyebrow hearing that. 'So if something like this shines through too much, there's a minute chance it will keep doing that whether you're here or not. I don't feel like having that happen. Even though everything's still within acceptable parameters, apparently father has a different idea on that. Make your move.' His eyes turned down again, and I got a couple minutes of silence for this. I don't think he calculated it into his plans that this is not how I was born. 'It's negligible, don't worry, I'm not breaking my mask for this.' His eyes narrowed a bit more before moving his pawn,

'You got this mask when you were seven?'

'Six.'

'Interesting.'

'If you say so.'

'Because normally it's an elongated process, isn't it? Apparently there was an event around that age of yours that made the mask definitive, that's what makes it interesting.'

'I didn't think you were interested in anyone's past, and you're playing better than previously tonight.' He started tapping his fingers against his leg, 'You're trying to find out what it was that sent me berserk so you can use that to make me lose control at the right moment here?'

'Perhaps.'

'Useless. Only my parents and grandfather remember this.'

'But you were just distressed when you entered that room, weren't you? Shouldn't you be able to remember as well.'

'Things were different back then.' I folded my legs underneath me, careful with my next move,

'Different, how?'

'I now have something I like to do. Before that I just tried to forget everything.' Those words distracted him a second, before all of his mind agreed that I wasn't talking about our activities.

'Hard to believe there was once a time where the great Illumi didn't like his profession.'

'I once was a small child as well Hisoka, it took a while before I could see eye to eye with my training.' None of what I'm saying should be surprising, but he's still listening very intently. The look in his eyes is darker than normal, but there's no dark intent. 'You're not going to hear anything from father, if that's what you're hoping.' He lightly shook his head. 'What makes you so serious tonight?'

'Nothing in particular.'

'Then why did you take your shirt off.'

'So you finally ask?' He closed his eyes a second longer, dragging a nail across his chest for a small trickle of blood to appear. He held this nail out to me over the board, but I inclined my head to it, not sure what I was supposed to do with it, 'Notice the difference?' I inclined my head the other way and wanted to activate my nen to find out the meaning behind his action, but after a minute I already saw what he meant when a drop rolled off,

'It's evaporating on its own?'

'You're deeper inside of me then I think I wanted to have you, Illumi.' He turned his hand to let the last drops evaporate while it was falling down on our game. I turned my eyes back to his wound, but it wasn't evaporating there.

'…So only when it leaves your living matter?' He gave a nod. This was not necessarily dangerous for him, but it _was_ interesting. I leaned over the board, and reached out to get some drops on my finger as well. He let me do all this without protest, but intent shone through a split second when I did.

The blood didn't evaporate with me, I absorbed it. I was taken aback by this happening without any warning to being in this mode, but so was Hisoka. His eyes opened wider,

'Well that's new as well.' When I wanted to reach out and try again, he grabbed my wrist and threw it to the side. 'I may be a tool to someone with the same goal, but I am not a guinea pig if you're not giving me a healer.'

'Alright.' He raised his brow,

'…Excuse me?'

'I'll not use you as a guinea pig, I'll go look for someone else.' I stood up and turned without giving it second thought. I don't feel any different, how is this happening?

* * *

_'Hisoka.'  
_

_'How very interesting that you're the one calling me this time.' I laughed at the disgruntled tone from my healer that followed before he answered on the other side of the line. I looked around a bit to see what items for entertainment were at my disposal here in this Zoldyck cabin._

_'Well I missed you so much that I couldn't help myself, please come back to me quickly.' For a second I stopped looking around, because he'd said it so convincingly that I'd almost believed it._

_'If it wasn't for your inclination to kill me in my sleep, I might have taken you up on that offer.'_

_'Considering your death will trigger disadvantageous events for me, you know I won't kill you in your sleep.' His tone returned to normal while saying that, and I continued looking around the small cabin,_

_'If not to want to devour me one way or the other, to what do I owe the pleasure then?'_

_'Whatever it is that Illumi attacks you with, it's intrusive.' I stopped in the middle of the room, laying a hand on my hip and gave the conversation more attention. Intrusive to the point where it reaches you as well? That's bad… very bad indeed._

_'Explain.'_

_'My blood evaporated the moment it left my skin.'_

_'… …!' That put me on high alert. Although something of that level was manageable, there was a probability it would get worse than that. 'All of you are quite intent on giving me bad news, lately.'_

_'I don't know where you are, but you better make sure to stay alive.' I heard the click a moment later. Yes, I think I'm gonna need to bother Illumi right away._

* * *

'You didn't warn me of this.' I decided to call my dear healer again the moment Illumi left my sight. Somehow, after calling in his warning earlier, I felt like he should've known about this as well.

 _'I'm not exactly interested.'_ No, I understood that much – the only reason he called me to tell me of these effects is because my death will directly result in my leverage over Illumi triggering. And I'm not the only one dealing with this issue. _'You deal with that side on your o-'_ I closed my phone immediately when the door opened again and Illumi came walking back in a mere minute after walking out. In demonstration he held out his hand, and I watched closely as the remnants of one thing or the other slowly dissipated into him as well. _This is very not good._

'Explanation.'

'Turn it off.' I watched the last remnants being absorbed, noticing Illumi was not exactly satisfied with that answer.

'I can't turn it off if-'

'Come here.' I nudged him to come sit next to me. I'm improvising, I don't enjoy doing that without a backup for my life. He did not sit down in front of me. I sighed deeply before accepting he was not doing what I told him tonight, and stood up myself, laying my hand against his shoulder and making sure I was protecting myself this time, 'You're a lot of work, aren't you. I'll see if I can find it for you then, but I can't switch it back for you.' My eyes opened wider very quickly though. Because as soon as the increasingly more dangerous becoming Illumi allowed me to sense around inside of him, just beneath a thin layer of his normal nen, there was almost nothing _but_ the other. As soon as he felt this himself though, he jolted a little and increased his focus, working on calming it down. I let go as soon as I noticed that it was working, and contemplated this for a second.

There's not a chance that anything I've done would've been able to escalate it this much this quickly.

'Thank you.' I looked back up at those pitch black eyes. When he runs out of ideas to fix something there's "panic" with him, and he becomes a little boy, doesn't he. Either he throws a tantrum, or he comes running to daddy to fix it for him. Lack of control is so scary for him – he hides it well though.

'Not a problem. Still want to finish the match?' I lazily pointed down at the board,

'Just make your move, you will have me check, and I won't be able to get out of that anyway.' He turned around to walk out the door – undoubtedly to report this to Silva – his hair swishing behind him.

'You know that this isn't just my doing.' I spoke up before he disappeared,

'I know.' The door slammed closed behind him. _What_ do _you know then? Are you aware that you're agitating it yourself somehow? Did you get order to agitate it yourself? Are you aware that someone else is agitating it for you? Is that even possible?_ So many question, so few answers…

I sat down again and leaned my elbow on the board, laying my head down on my hand while I made the last move Illumi'd talked about, and knocked over his king. If it keeps going like this, it's not going to take more than two weeks. But I don't think Illumi will be able to take control over letting go that quickly. Whatever else is agitating Illumi needs to stop, things will get out of hand otherwise.

I tapped my cheek absentmindedly while thinking all this over. That apparently this nen of Illumi's was intrusive was one thing, but I don't know if I want Chrollo to be able to do this. That would be a one-sided, boring fight…

One by one I knocked over the white pieces. I don't mind Illumi being this way, there's more fun things to do with him than fight; but Chrollo is a different story. I'll reevaluate my goals on this. It's a good thing I have possession of half of what he needs, and I'll make sure he won't reach the other half either. The odds that _this_ will occur with the leader will have to drop significantly before I allow him to close the deal.

I sighed deeply before ticking over my own pieces as well. I don't think I have a lot of choice, do I. Or I need to trick him to fight me before he's able to use these items.

I turned my eyes to the left where the small cube was sitting on top of a small cabinet. _Perhaps just activating you will help Illumi's control._ I pushed myself off the ground and picked it up, holding it up in front of my eyes. _How do you activate though, and what will you do to my dearest toy?_

'… …' I put it down again when there was a one-sided talk outside for a couple of seconds, and the door opened once more. A dark haze strode past me without explanation. I felt amusement returning when I understood on my own though. 'You were told to stay here in case anything goes wrong again? Your parents are not here now, are they.' I lay a hand on my hip and tilted it, only turning my head a little. _You really are a kid, aren't you._

'They're both on a mission.' I turned around a bit more when I heard the door to the bedroom opening and closing. Am I allowed to play, or aren't I? It might be a bit dangerous at this point.


	5. Chapter 5

'Want to start up another game?' In the end it had been impossible for him to resist.

'I'm sleeping the remaining two hours.' I started working through my hair again before laying down on the small bed, pulling the blanket over me. I have to stop agitating this power on my own if it appears without permission. I'd started doing this to move it along from the moment the plan started up. Father's order just now had been just to continue doing it though, despite the unpredictability. Considering that we both know that Hisoka – next to having been able to help me just now – is a catalyst for activation, him telling me to stay here had put question marks in my head considering this escalation. When I'd asked for an explanation, he'd simply told me to do it. It's been a long time since I got an order like that.

I rolled to my side and closed my eyes when I heard Hisoka's footsteps come through the doorway. I didn't particularly care where he would sleep.

'I take it I'm allowed in this bed as well?' He crawled over me on all fours, nuzzling against my neck. He realizes my parents' intention as well.

'Considering there's no warning anymore for when it activates, I advise not to make any sudden movements.' He wasn't planning to – he loves to fight, he doesn't have a death wish.

'Can I ask one thing then?'

'… …' It's never just one thing. I sighed and remained silent, even after hearing his question.

'Have you ever gone against an order of your family? Have you ever made that decision?' I understood what he was unsubtly hinting at, but he has a very limited understanding of the way things go in this family. I've been deciding a lot on my own for a long time now. 'Because you don't actually see the use of what you're doing, do you?' He leant further on his elbows, moving his lips to the back of my neck. 'And the only reason you're allowing this is because you've been told to. On top of that, right now you can't threaten with that dangerous side of yours, because you feel a lack of control now that you've experienced it activating on its own once.'

'You're not exactly smart for provoking that.' If I'm agitated enough, it will corrode through his nen protection as well. I rolled onto my back, but his head still landed next to mine. 'I don't need to see a use in this, I need to get it under control because apparently father was right about it. What you're doing helps in that training.'

'For eighteen years you've been drilled to ignore it, why would you need to get it under control now?'

'I don't care.'

'But I think you do.'

'Why would I.'

'Because you don't like where this is going.'

'That doesn't matter.' I've done things I didn't want to a lot of times before I was six, and it turned out fine. 'Are you going to make it your goal now to make me see that it _does_ matter? Because you seem to see it as your goal in life to make me like you.' I felt a soft chuckle vibrate against my skin. I was constantly checking myself if I was still the way I always was. But I'm guessing that if I wasn't, Hisoka would be the first to notice anyway.

'No, that would be boring.'

'So just trying to mess with my head again, like always.' I spoke up a bit more.

'Well that's always fun.'

'You're scared.'

'Why would you say that.' He shifted weight on his elbows a little.

'You're not really touching me, and you have no intention to, because you're avoiding looking at me directly.' I was correct. He shuffled his knees a bit closer, 'But you're not admitting that you're apprehensive in the face of someone strong just as much as I'm not going to say that I don't want to do this, so I'm not taking the trouble of having you say it out loud.' He stopped reacting, and for a while his chest was the only thing that moved with him. After a while I closed my eyes again to try and get back to sleep. But I knew it wouldn't be so easy with someone like Hisoka. After a minute or so, I felt the breath of his soft laugh tickle my skin again. You were looking for reasoning to be able to keep close? When you have the object you desire in your vision, you start working the same as me. No matter how quickly you forget the past, you love to have a plan. You like to be in control of the game. The only difference between us is that having control is not your priority, isn't it.

Because I realized all this now, whatever he was doing actually wasn't agitating me – for the first time since we started being this way.

'Do you want to go for another round then?' He still didn't look at me or touched me, so he knew I'd notice his apprehension and didn't bother putting up a play,

'Alright.' This apprehension disappeared as soon as he got permission, but I continued while he sat back on his legs. 'I'll be off on mission for two days after this anyway.' His face dropped immediately again, this expression I knew very well. 'I've been allowed to take my own missions for a long time already, you know this. Why would you even be surprised about it.' I laid my hands on his hips, eliciting a huff from his side.

'I take it I'm still forced to stay put?' I gave him a blank stare back, that was a rhetorical question.

'Do you want to tie my hands so I won't be able to do anything to you even when I turn?' He noticed how I'd taken control of this interaction, and even though I know he loves to tie me up, he hesitated a second before answering,

'Well, don't mind if I do.' Before he stepped off me though, he leant down again, and kissed me on the lips. When I wanted to deepen it, he pulled away again to find some restraints. That had been him taking initiative back by doing something out of the ordinary. Can't say that it was completely ineffective.

I moved my hands up above me near the headrest of the bed. It wouldn't contain me, this is just a way to remind me I need to keep them in one place.

Hisoka returned with a thick chain, and sat up high over me, chaining me with great pleasure.

'Were you told to do this as well?' I didn't answer that rhetorical question either. When the chains were bound tightly around my wrists and to one of the pillars of the headrest, Hisoka started trailing his thumb along my lips. I opened them slightly to catch it my tongue, but I wasn't allowed. Instead he leant down again and hovered less than an inch away from me. 'Seeing as I'm being left to my own devices for two lonely days, let's make tonight a bit more rough than normal.' I lidded my eyes open at him before he bit my lip, pulling it, but letting it go to travel further down. As long as he doesn't have ulterior motives, I don't mind the sex. I looked up at the ceiling…

I may had turned the tables, but I can't denounce Hisoka's words. I will work them out of my head during sex.

 _'… …!'_ I retracted those words when Hisoka bit and pulled on one of my nipples, licking around it. I arched my back a little into the feeling. I am not able to use my mind at full capacity while Hisoka works like this,

'How much foreplay do you want?' He smiled back up at me,

'If you don't want to die, I suggest not too much.' I breathed out the words,

'Well, let's make it count then shall we.' I wrapped my legs around his hips, forcing him back up to eyelevel, pressing him down against me firmly.

His lips rose into a grin when he realized what I'd meant to say before I said it,

'Understood.' _No drawing blood._ 'Don't worry, you know there's still plenty of other ways for us to have fun~' He let his bottom lip get caught this time, and be pulled down into a deep kiss. He rubbed his fingers strongly over my chest while I let the grip on my legs go slowly to let him act out on his discontentment. My body can take what he can dish out anyway, it's he who needs to take caution.

He quickly took over possession on my lips and tongue and didn't allow me to breathe, making me rise my chest to the touch of his fingertips more. He didn't let go of that kiss, turning his head the other way to continue restlessly while he placed his legs better for more control. He started rolling his fingers around my nipples, making my back arch up, but he pushed it back down forcefully. He let go of my lips at that point and I opened my eyes to a dangerous look in his. _You really dislike the situation at the moment, do you._

He heavily breathed down on me for a small while, devising what he wanted to do to me. I prepared myself for the moment when his eyes narrowed some more, and was just in time to save my wrists when he pulled to tighten those chains with no small amount of force. There was a small cringe in my eyes when he did this, and he very obviously liked to see that. _Well, it's not like either of us dislikes pain in this situation._ I noticed my body reacting positively to this action of his, a pleasurable tingle going through my skin from my wrists.

'Sorry about that, I needed a bit more.' He glided his hands up the loose ends of the chain, and crushed through the metal close to the restraint. _We're using whips this time?_ 'I hope you don't mind.'

'Why would-!' I narrowed my eyes at him when he'd smothered the rest of the words by placing one of the chains over my mouth, pinning the ends next to my head on the bed. I took a small breath before deciding to bite through that. He threw the ends away. 'That was unnecessary.'

'Not completely.'

'Gagging me has never turned me-!' _You like to interrupt me today, don't you._ I disliked this action a lot less though. He glided the other chain along my neck. I exposed it a bit more when he put some pressure on it, and he lowered his head over it as well. He pressed the chain up a bit while he licked and kissed the skin just below it. _This is not good, if he's going to do this, I probably won't be able to restrain the nen, and Hisoka's too eager to harm me._

My legs curled up, giving myself some more room. I hate to admit it that in these situations I like to give up control, but I've stopped denying this to myself – my body obviously appreciates it – for now a bit too much.

'So easily excited.' He whispered against my skin before kissing it once more and pulling away, looking at my flushed face a second before removing the chain from my neck. I took a sweet breath, but I missed the sensation.

'Hm…' I turned my eyes his way when pleasure waned and Hisoka was thinking things through too much. But before I could command him, 'Can you sit up with the chains still around- your arms…' I already did as he asked, rolling my shoulders to the back, sitting up against the end of the bed, my legs raised and spread, a bit out of breath waiting for him.

I think it was that point where we were both finally on the same page.

He grunted a small, pleasurable sound, licking his lips, doing what needed be done first – taking off the one piece of clothing on me. He threw it to the side somewhere before sitting up over my legs, looking down on me, forcefully raking his hand through my hair, grabbing a handful and sharply pulling my head back to kiss me again. He left neither of us with a lot of breath to spare when we started this, feeling him rub up against me and slowly feeling him grow through his pants.

He had to hold himself back not to bite my lip too hard when he placed the chain in between my legs behind him, and trailed it up against my own growing erection. My legs snapped closed around his hips when that cold, rugged feeling glided along my balls and length. I wanted to snap my head back forward, but Hisoka chose to enjoy the tormented, pleasured expression while he made a twirling motion with the chain around my dick.

'You have no idea how much I like you being a sexual deviant like this.' I wanted to respond with "I think it's fairly obvious how much you like this" because of the unsubtle growth with him. I closed my eyes and let out a couple of harder breaths now and again when the chain passed particularly sensitive spots. He made sure to pass close to that a couple of times to tease me.

That wasn't enough for either of us though.

After a while of playing around like this, his fingers glided through and out of my hair, finally allowing my head to snap back against his chest, breathing hard for a second before licking my way to one of his nipples and biting down on it.

 _'Aah…'_ He was not subtle in letting it be known he appreciated it, and together with the heavy breathing he was able to bring out, 'But I do think you need to be rectified a second.' He pushed my head away forcefully, almost smacking it against the wall behind me. I immediately sensed what he meant, and closed my eyes in focus of pushing that nen away. I felt Hisoka leaving the bed in the meantime, getting rid of his own pants. 'Tell me when you're done.'

He said this, but he'd already placed himself in between my legs again, trailing his tongue around my dick, completing in making it hard. Luckily for him I'd already switched back, but I noticed he'd put quite the protection on himself either way. I grabbed one of the pillars on the end of the bed and felt my toes curl up in the sheets when I looked down at the redhead bobbing up and down around me, already placing fingers inside of me. This warmth in stark contrast to the chain just now.

But this didn't last very long.

He pulled away, sitting up, licking his lips while he worked himself up some more, and left me bare for too long to my likings. He was taking his sweet time in gliding his fingers around his own tip and fondling his balls as he pumped himself. He would be someone content enough to finish on his own just watching me like this, and I was feeling like stopping that from happening when he closed his eyes to the feeling. I was ready to pull the chains away before he'd simply leave me here like this, but he forcefully pushed my back against the wall before pulling my legs out from under me. My arms twisted back up in a more painful way, and this combined with Hisoka wasting no time in pushing himself in.

 _'Aaaah…'_ I was the one to let out unsubtly this time, wrapping my legs around his lower body, forcing him in all the way and causing him to groan as well.

'Am I allowed..?' I looked down at him, panting from the feeling, not appreciating there was no movement. But I knew what he meant, I could see it in his eager eyes. I denied him that specific pleasure this time though. _Not together with my hands being tied._ 'Oh well, I guess this will have to do.' He pulled out and in again, pulling me up a bit in the small of my back so I would be hit more easily. He lay his head against my chest while I threw mine back when he didn't waste another moment and started slamming into me. He went harder and harder the louder my voice became, only slowing down once to change position. Sitting up on his knees, he pulled me up on top of him, my arms painfully stretched out behind me, and my hair falling in between us when I leaned my head down against his. I still started up movement, enjoying the tingling feeling in my shoulders and wrists.

Hisoka wrapped his hand around me, and let my movement dictate how much he pumped me. When I continued that merciless pace of his, riding on top of him while the bed creaked beneath us, neither of us held out for very long. I breathed out hard into the mess of red hair, my eyes shut tightly when I felt the excitement in his hand around me and started to slow down when I felt I was very close.

Noticing this, Hisoka took over for the last part, and pumped me harder, making me contract around him, and twitch in his hand before my voice let go one last time, and my cum squirted out over both of us, and into my hair a bit. I didn't need to do anything extra for Hisoka to help him over the edge as well, the contracting feeling around him had been enough, and together with the loud vibration against the skin of my chest, I felt him shooting me up deep inside.

Tension slowly started to disappear in that moment, but it wasn't enough.

Hisoka pulled me off him, and threw me back down on the bed with my legs still spread, leaving me panting it out on my own.

'Make sure you're normal again, and let's do that again.' He said that, but he still put on extra protection in order to lick the cum off my chest, trailing his tongue down around my spent dick, and even around my balls, down to my entrance where his own cum was oozing out. He trailed his tongue around the muscle, making it impossible for me to focus on switching the nen inside of me. _This was already training._ 'I think we're both up for another round, aren't we.' He didn't leave me with enough breath to confirm this, and wanted to continue right away before lack of any kind of protection against Hisoka would take over my mind. 'Thank you for this courtesy.' He closed his face in on mine again, licking away a couple drops that had spilled from the corner of his mouth. 'Let us continue.'

* * *

_This is boring._

Things had turned that way very quickly as soon as Illumi had left on the mission.

I sighed looking down at my phone. Chrollo wasn't letting himself be bothered, and neither was my dear healer. Getting hold of the rest of the Troupe was impossible with just my phone, so that fun wasn't happening either. I could try to walk away without the Zoldycks noticing, but I'm not so stupid as to underestimate this family. They most probably all have a blind spot somewhere, but I don't actually know them as well as I do Illumi, do I. I _do_ know that if I walk out of here with them noticing, I'm not getting anywhere near this family anymore.

No matter how I look at it, that would be a shame.

Still a day left until Illumi would return. _So many strong people here, and I can't fight any of them._

I sighed again, and turned my head to the small cube. That thing is no fun either, it took me about ten minutes to activate that. I just had to find the right crevice, and use the right amount of nen and force. It unfolded itself afterwards, making it a strange, small structure, emanating a dim, dark light. I can tell it exudes something, but I'm not sure if it's supposed to do just this or that it can do more with the other item present. Maybe what it's exuding will have a significant effect on Illumi, but for me it wasn't doing anything.

I lifted a finger, sending a small amount of nen towards its off button again, and watched it fold back into itself. _You're strange, but not interesting by a long shot._

I guess I'll just take a stroll along the mountain then, because inside here, nothing was going to happen anyway.

I stood up and walked outside deciding that finding the famed building where Illumi had experienced this first breakdown of his would be a worthwhile endeavor.

* * *

Last night had become a bit troublesome.

Because Hisoka'd been insulted or angry at the fact that he held very little cards in this game, he hadn't held back anything, and it had resulted in a couple of injuries that put me below a 100% capacity.

I absentmindedly rolled my wrists just before I reached my destination. If I hadn't used my nen at a certain point, both my wrists would now be broken. He'd refrained from scratching either of us open though, knowing that blood didn't actually help me keep control. It hadn't kept either of us to still do everything that was allowed though. I rubbed over my ribs as well. I'd had to stop him with a lot of force when he almost broke that. Broken arms or wrists I can work with, broken ribs impede my job too much. He hadn't exactly made that shack more livable for himself with any of this, by the way.

All in all though, I can't deny I enjoyed those two hours. It was weird to do all of that without actually being agitated by him, but not unpleasant. Next time he's going to be the one tied up though; although pleasurable, he needs to know his place in all of this.

I stopped in front of the small building just outside of the specified town and looked up at it, trying to sense strange presences, but I didn't pick up anything yet. This was strange, wasn't he here yet? I'd been told to meet here for the specifications of the job, and I'd been paid even a bit more than I'd asked for even before having delivered any services. I'd used daytime to get ready and be here on time, and this was someone desperate for help - he _should_ be here.

I put myself on guard more than usual, and pushed the wide doors open, closing them behind me. When there seemed to be no traps in the building itself, I stepped away from the doors and walked out into the middle of the small, open space, keeping note of my surroundings. I know I am at the exact, agreed to time.

'Is keeping me waiting or away from something part of why you paid so much money up front?' I spoke up, setting my hands on my hips. I activated my en again to do a more thorough search when I didn't get an immediate answer. The moment it expanded I heard a voice from in front of me, I turned my head left slightly, and saw him morphing out of a far, dark corner. I blinked at the sight of him. Strange that I hadn't detected him earlier.

'Thank you for coming.'

'You hired me with a lot of money, of course I showed up, you knew this already.' I raised a hand in gesture before dropping it again and inclining my body a bit more his way. 'You disguised your voice well. What's this about, because you haven't hired me to kill someone.' A lot has changed since we first met, he has a lot less hostility to my presence now and is actually asking for me.

'No I haven't.' I saw the Kurta stepping a bit closer again before he continued. You're poor at hiding your fatigue. 'I need you to find someone and use whatever means to free them.' I blinked down at him again. Something like this again with him? He looked slightly uncomfortable with my altered appearance though – but I've been taught to use that whenever the job requires contact, he should understand.

'Rescuing people is not part of my job. Is it too hard for you to say that I need to take care of whoever's keeping them captive? You can just rescue your friend on your own afterwards.'

'… …' When silence stretched for a couple seconds longer, I took it he agreed to it being this way, but was just unable to say the words. Normally I'd say that it would be that way for him, but I'm very well aware of facial expressions with others. _You're scheming something yourself, your friend getting captured was just not part of the plan._ He was focused and anxious. I don't really understand why he places so much importance on others anyway.

Although flawed with that, Kurapika is not unintelligent – why can't he find this person by himself.

'Who am I supposed to find, and what information do you already have?'

'I need you to find Leorio. I have very little information of where he could be, all I have is this.' He took a phone out of his pocket, throwing it my way. The first thing I noticed when I opened it got most of my attention, but I still dutifully clicked through the messages for clues. While I was doing so, I commented without looking back at the blonde,

'Well this explains the level of healing on Hisoka. It's easy to get leverage on you though.' He ignored my words. Hisoka's not someone who'd care about killing this friend even if Kurapika would stop healing him – but his vision is clouded with fear.

'You're more in his mind than anyone else at this point, I figured you'd have a better idea of where he might be.'

'Ah, yes, I have a good idea, this is an easy mission.' I returned his phone when I'd taken in all the information I needed. This is a four-way chess game, isn't it. And although some parties are working together, all four of us are too individualistic to not have plans no-one else knows about. This can all escalate very easily. 'Regularly meeting with Hisoka, and calling me in for help on this will make you easier to find for Chrollo and for them to accomplish their goals. There's also no reason for me to keep quiet to either of them that you asked me to do this. I think Hisoka will notice either way if his leverage is gone, by the way.'

'Don't worry about my motives, just succeed.' I raised an eyebrow when his tone turned cold just before he made himself scarce again. He's definitely killed a person since last I saw him. Even for the Kurta this was extreme behavior. Still he shouldn't be so scared that he'd risk exposing himself like this. He's not supposed to be _this_ irrational.

Saving his friend will free him of the current leverage Hisoka has over him, but I doubt Hisoka would be unable to get new ones.

Of course Hisoka's not forcing him to give him the item right away, else there'd be no chance that Kurapika would help him. So he must have some kind of plan to get rid of the clown before the time comes.

'… …' Even knowing all this, this behavior was off. He's not an innocent bystander in all of this.

I turned around and left the premises again to start taking measures for the mission.

I'll keep it in the back of my mind that he's planning something. It seems this time Hisoka may be in over his head though.

* * *

Well this was… not as exciting as I thought it'd be.

I looked up at the large building, overgrown with the nature surrounding it.

I took a couple steps closer, slinging a stick towards the dilapidated building to see if there had been put protection up around it. Because I'm not going to mess with protection the Zoldycks put up. The stick didn't bounce off anything though, so I tried to make nen contact with it to see if that would set anything off, but there was a no to that as well.

This put a smile back to my face. _Seems like this is going to be easier than I thought._

I pocketed my hand again, and took a casual walk to the front door. I had to use quite a lot of force to pull this small door open though. Wouldn't expect any differently from this family. I stopped putting the effort in when I could walk through, and left the creaking door open. I coughed a couple of times when the expected dust started to blow up with my footsteps on the cracked, cemented floor. I brought a hand to my mouth, and stopped a couple of steps into the building, letting my eyes adjust to the dark. Because there was no way a building as abandoned as this would still have-

-working lights.

My eyes opened wide in surprise when high above me, the old lights started flickering on one by one, leading their way about halfway the building, putting me on guard. But I didn't move from my spot. Because a second later I noticed a known presence after expanding my en. Given that it _was_ known, my attention went back to the space around me. I dropped the hand in front of my mouth and took the look around. Because according to my dear Killua-kun, it should've been clean of any trace.

But it was quite the opposite.

The stench of death was quite noticeable – which was strange considering everything should've happened seventeen years ago, and since then it should've been quiet with Illumi until a couple of months ago. The scenery before me was suggesting otherwise.

'I'd expected you to come here.' The man belonging with that deep voice passed me by in a calm pace, and I watched him going in a specific direction.

'Illumi seemed to be under the impression you were on a mission.'

'That's none of your business.' I changed my mindset to not agitate Illumi's father too much – their demeanors are not exactly the same. Silva holds very little of Illumi's playfulness, even though he tries so hard to repress it.

'You did not cover this up, so I'm guessing I was supposed to find out?' He clicked on the back lights as well, uncovering an even more horrendous sight which made my heart jump in delight and I couldn't repress a small sound in appreciation.

'The story going around is that something distressed Illumi when he was seven, and that he cleaned out this room completely of prisoners we'd sent him. We're responsible for this story ourselves.'

'How much of it is true then?' He ignored my words.

'As far as Illumi's concerned, this is what happened, and this is what he will be told for the duration that you are here.' He turned back around to me to make the threat come across, but that had been unnecessary. I gave him a slight nod, and crossed my arms. He looked up at the most prominent piece of this room, and I followed his sight, not able to hold my curiosity completely,

'These corpses are quite fresh to have happened seventeen years ago.'

'That part is true, it did happen seventeen years ago.' I raised an eyebrow hearing that, and had to wonder what was really going on here. For all that time, this secret had been kept from even Illumi himself. Why was I now allowed to know of this? Am I perhaps not allowed to leave anymore after this?

Well, I did come here out of my own volition, didn't I. I smiled a little to myself realizing that.

'The room had also been cleaned out completely, there wasn't a trace left after he was done. It wasn't until weeks later that traces started to reappear.'

'Reappear?' _That was even more peculiar._

'Cleaning out is impossible, it stays right here.' He looked back at me, but I didn't know what to make of this. So that meant in that other place the corpses will reappear as well? But I thought that he dissolved material into nen and then into himself, just like before he left. Does that mean that if my skin hadn't been healed it would've appeared on its own again?

This is more complicated than I thought.

'It seems to be impossible for them to return to their original state completely, so whatever wounds he has inflicted on you will most probably be permanent.' I took in this new information. _What decides what comes back and what not, though._

'Why is this nen surfacing again, surely I can't be so special that I'm the sole cause?' I gestured, looking back at him, but he turned away to kill the lights in the back again. I pouted at that action, I'd much enjoyed seeing that carnage. Especially the corpse suspended against the back wall who looked like she'd been pinned there with a thousand needles – only without any needles present. I much liked looking at that impossibility. That poor woman's limbs hadn't exactly been in the best of states either – the ones that were present of course. It had been interesting to see all of that in this half-state of decay.

'You're not.' I returned attention. 'It's been happening more frequently, but you're a good catalyst.'

'More frequently?' He didn't answer that, but the implications were that Illumi was not always aware of when he did this. Considering what happened and what Illumi told me last night, I don't find it strange Silva's taking these actions now. If Illumi's natural state is not what he's now, and that other side is shining through without there being control over, of course you want to find some way to control it if it's not letting itself be repressed anymore.

That means there's the possibility before he became this way, he _was_ that other thing? Then the distress started when his nen was released, and he was unable to control it.

But they confined his little brother when he showed dangerous powers, why was Illumi trained to learn to control it? Because he was the firstborn?

Silva stopped in front of me a second, looking down at me,

'Your job is what I told you it is; draw it out and get it under control.' I confirmed that I would with the look in my eyes and kept my thoughts to myself.

'And Illumi's not supposed to know any of this, right?' Before turning the front lights off as well, he gave a short confirmation, adding,

'If we find out you have, measures will be taken.' The door closed behind him, leaving me in the pitch dark.

'Hmph.' I let out a huff before turning around and switching the lights back on. Because this was way too interesting a sight to bask in in the dark.

As I switched it back on, I kept my eyes on the switch a little longer though. Surely what I've felt with Illumi was my body being dissolved, and him absorbing, and I've seen the same happening with that dead animal yesterday. Why would it leave him again to make a permanent manifestation?

Considering the timespan, the bodies should've returned to the other location as well. But I haven't sensed a decrease in his physical or nen abilities with him whatsoever since that happened.

I turned to switch on the rest of the lights again, and looked at the suspended corpse. The bodies _are_ real. Is the power decrease only noticeable with his other nen then? Are they such different entities? Then basically what he does when he eats this living matter, is temporarily powering himself up?

What kind of power increase are we talking about anyway? Because the aura surrounding both this and the other location were quite impressive. Is it even considered an increase or merely an anomaly?

I shuffled a stray foot out of the way to reach the suspended corpse and smiled up at it. The details of torture on this poor creature were exquisite, more attention had been paid to this one than the others. Fingernails were missing, and I could tell the difference between where she'd been flayed with bare hands and where she simply didn't reappear again. My, is that only the pupil missing from her eye? He didn't have any tools when he did all of this if I understood correctly – so he also made nen needles out of nothing? These are not powers you've ever shown me, Illumi…

This is making things more and more interesting though.

I felt my grin grow and let out a low laugh in satisfaction over all of this,

'I think I've made the right choice in following you here.' _I can't wait to see what potential lies in you controlling what you've been born with._

I stopped my admiration when once I opened the doors again, I noticed I had a missed call. Considering who it was, I dialed back right away.

'So much contact we have lately.'

 _'You're on your own now.'_ My smile dropped again. And today was going so well…

'What are you talking about.'

_'I'm sorry, wasn't I clear? Let me rephrase it. I've had Illumi take care of your leverage, so you can take care of your own wounds from now. Darling.'_

'Oh well, ha-' He hung up before I finished my sentence. I sighed, looking down at my phone. Not that I still had a lot of use for him, but it would've been nice if I'd have been able to keep a hold on him until I got the second item.

The search has been reset…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stuff is happening ohmygosh *squishes all your faces*Look at that!  
> Look at stuff just happening  
> Wow  
> A more intense Kurapika  
> A pleased Hisoka  
> Silva appearing (I don't think those two would ever get along or see eye to eye)  
> New "rules" surrounding Illumi's powers (I hope you can still follow it a bit xD)  
> (And god are those new kinks of mine?)


	6. Chapter 6

The mission had gone exactly as planned, the only hitch had been that I'd started absorbing again without warning. But by simply repeating what Hisoka had shown me before, it was subdued without much trouble. Those captors still had been taken care of with little problem despite the mishap – although they did like to put up a resistance - and Hisoka's leverage was gone just like that. Kurapika hadn't wasted any time in taking his friend away for treatment, but had given me a long, hard look before he left.

_'Why are you waiting? Weren't you eager to save your friend?'_

_'… …'_

He hadn't even given me an answer before he disappeared, and I'd inclined my head looking through the window where he'd disappeared. That had been concern in his eyes, but the reason behind it could be for anything; the Kurta worries about a lot of unnecessary things. So I'd shrugged it off. The only strange thing being that he'd most probably already killed someone but still had asked me to take care of these three. If he'd wanted to know the location, he should've asked for Milluki.

The only reason this had taken more than one day though, was because of traveling distance. I'd barely even taken the time to torture those captors for insight into Hisoka's network, I wasn't really interested. They didn't look like they knew a lot anyway. Considering the redhead, he keeps his network separated from each other anyway. It's what we do as well.

I don't think he even cares his leverage over Kurapika is gone now that he's where he wants to be. Although he seemingly has doubts about the nature of his game, he knows he's not getting away from us, making a healer on the outside redundant.

Also considering the timespan of this mission, I didn't find it strange that I got a call from him before I even returned to the mansion. I stopped and took the call before reaching the gates,

'I know you're excited, but I can't teleport, Hisoka.' I started to casually walk the remaining distance, placing a hand on my hip,

 _'So you were hired by my dear healer, were you.'_ He didn't sound completely amused..

'Ah, you found out already? Did he call you himself? But you won't need him anymore anyway. And if any of us do, we will be the ones to take care of the healing.' In the distance I saw the gates appear in my sight. It had become near evening, maybe I'd taken too much time torturing anyway.

 _'You're not planning_ with _him, are you?'_

'Of course not, what would I have to gain from that considering you're already confined to our premises?'

 _'Point taken.'_ He's paranoid over something like that that would never happen? You're having a worse time on our premises than you thought you would, aren't you. I gave a short wave to the guard before laying my hand against the gate and pushed it open without effort.

'Was that all you called me for, because I'm entering our territory now. You're even more impatient when you have nothing to do.' Closing the gates behind me, I sharply turned my head to the right, and stopped the call before I could get an answer. For a second someone appeared to be standing there, but he was nowhere to be seen now. Not even expanding my En did anything for that.

Curious, I have quite some range. I'll inform of this, because not even Hisoka can disappear that fast.

My phone rang again before long though,

_'That was rude.'_

'You don't sound insulted though.' I started my way up the mountain to the mansion, and heard him laugh softly. It didn't sound like he was outside, I'll check surveillance with Milluki later.

_'I may have acquired some interesting information.'_

'This is concerning the reason you're here?'

_'Yes.'_

'Chrollo contacted you again that he has the second item?' He laughed again, simply giving a vague answer in return,

 _'We're starting training tomorrow.'_ I stopped in front of the mansion a second later, pushing the door open to go to my room to rest, if Hisoka didn't have other plans again.

'You're not telling me the plan until tomorrow, are you.'

 _'Be well rested.'_ I hung up while he was saying that. Hisoka still likes to waste time with taunts such as these. I don't think he'll ever learn they don't work on me, or he just likes to do them anyway. Considering him, it's the second. Walking up the stairs and going through the hallway, I sighed when I noticed my door being slightly ajar. Taking into account he was still able to make a call, I guessed he didn't encounter my parents. They will not take too kindly of this action, but apparently he's more needed than I'm aware of that he's not locked up for use in the first place.

That wouldn't exactly make someone like him cooperative either way though.

I set my fingers against the door and pushed it open completely, seeing the redhead sitting on the large chair in the corner. He turned his eyes up to me. _Either you're very eager, or you managed to make the time without me interesting in one way or the other._ The slight stress over the phone suggested otherwise though. Are you just happy to see me? That's also very unlike you. I don't think I appreciate the manipulation being done on you, it makes you incredibly dull.

… …

Huh…

That was a strange thought.

'You're saying you want me to be rested, but you're only going to try and tire me more with the way you're looking at me.' The corners of his lips slowly raised,

'Just trying? Do you still underestimate me?'

* * *

'I have to say I'm surprised you'd be so bold as to enter our mansion without permission. Considering the state of your clothes, I'd say you ran into some difficulties along the way?' I leaned back some more in the large chair, leaning my head on my hand, looking at the door he closed behind him. The trip had been more perilous than anticipated. This can't be just for enemies invading, there's too much defense over the rest of the mountain for that.

'You take your training very seriously.' After all the dull hours spent alone, coming here to greet Illumi personally had been worth the effort though. I'd gone back to the carnage once again to investigate some more, and also called for someone to check the site of his other carnage – _there were indeed half-fleshed corpses_. This had been enough for me to get some interest back.

_What kind of power are you actually housing?_

'Have I ever given reason for you to think otherwise? The anomaly here is you, who's not a professional but can still withstand the same.'

'Hm.' I huffed, turning my eyes to Illumi when he started undressing. _A power increase or change gained through sucking out the life force and even using techniques you shouldn't be able to?_ 'Was that curiosity towards my past, by the way, or merely a statement?' _I want to know everything about it._ Mah… it's guesswork though, I don't know the exact nature of what you gain by eating that nen.

'I'm not interested in your past.' _That would make two of us._ It would've been amusing to dangle around the subject though.

'I'd say I'm interested in yours, but that has been fairly straightforward, hasn't it.' Not as straightforward as you like me to think if you were different first though.

'Yes.' My eyes followed down when he dropped his pants, and he stepped out of it, obviously getting ready for a shower. I licked my lips looking at that finely toned ass. Oh how many times I've already been allowed inside there, but it doesn't seem to tire. Being able to bring our dear trained, single-minded assassin into ecstasy as the only one, _does_ feel too exclusive to give up rights to it. 'Are you here to disturb my shower, or sleep?' I blinked my eyes back up after he'd turned around,

'Why not both?'

'Make a choice.' He crossed his arms in defiance,

'Why? You can last for more than one time, I'm very well aware of this.' He sighed before giving his answer,

'I'll see you after the shower.' He walked into the bathroom a second later. I stood up and called after him,

'That's not very efficient, is it?' I stopped in the door opening, watching him turn on the water. With all the traps I'd had to go through to get here, I couldn't help but wonder if there were any here – or around whatever corner,

'I want this blood off me before I do anything else. You won't be able to make me as dirty as I am right now.'

'That sounds like a challenge.'

'It's not.' He stepped under the water as soon as the temperature was to his liking, his back turned towards me again. _I want to run my fingers through that hair and slam you against the wall over and over._ I repositioned myself in the doorframe when that visual reached excitement, and I did my best to focus on the reason I'd actually risked my life coming into this mansion for. Although very pleasurable, I know when not to taunt fate for sex that I know will be available at any time. _Hmm~ but that fine ass is asking for it…_

'Why are you really here?' Ah, beaten to it,

'Glad you asked.' I took the one item out of the single piece of clothing on me that was still in once piece, and held it up in my hand, 'I actually wanted to start something tonight so we could continue tomorrow.' He looked back to check what I'd gotten out of my pants pocket,

'You're already starting with that? Is that even useful without its counterpart?'

'I figured out how to activate it to do _something_ , but all it seems to do is exude one thing or the other. I'm guessing it will do wonders for someone like you.' I walked out with the small cube, putting it on the nightstand. It's strange, I hadn't expected something as normal as that to be in this room, to be honest.

I sat down on the bed, leaning my elbows on my knees, and folding my hands under my chin. I didn't take my eyes off the small cube.

To be honest, next to Silva's new information, everything was becoming quite interesting but I was not really sure how all of this was supposed to work.

Chrollo had told me his intel was solid, but I had to wonder what kind of person had given him this intel, and how he'd acquired it. If this person knows about the item's combined effects, then there _must_ be someone else walking around with the same kind of power that's inside of Illumi. Considering Chrollo's sure that our Zoldyck's natural talent is the same, I'm guessing either the giver of intel or Chrollo himself has been witness to it before.

But then why had this person not been found and experimented on by this family yet.

It does not make things any less strange. The head of the spiders is unwilling to part with information on this, considering it's not needed. However…

…If this person knew so much about these objects, then how did he lose them, or did he merely part with it because he didn't need it anymore and that collector paid an exuberant amount of money for it?

I picked it up again, at the same time listening to the sounds in the bathroom to be aware when Illumi would appear again.

I can't denounce other reasons for parting with the items though; for example that it's not necessarily an increase in power and Chrollo merely told me this to make me help him, and that the previous user was killed for it. Or that the increase is unable to be sustained inside a human body, and the previous user killed himself with it.

I wouldn't count it as unfathomable to think Chrollo either believes to be able to sustain it, or uses it for only a short time to achieve whatever he wants to achieve with the spiders. I can't say I completely understand his motivations in that area – his actions can be predictable, but the reasons behind this are privy to him alone.

I leaned back on my hand, twirling the cube around in front of me. Such a small thing, what will you do to our dear Illumi-kun?

Silva rejected this power first, but now that he's accepting it, I have to believe he's under the impression Illumi will be able to endure it – at least until there's control over it again. He puts his children through great risks, but not if there's no chance that they will survive. I will not appreciate it if a nice toy like Illumi will be ruined by this.

I will not appreciate it if a nice toy like Chrollo will ruin himself for whatever reason either.

I stopped the twirling and put it back on the nightstand when after a couple of minutes the sound of water disappeared. I cracked my neck before standing back up when I heard the footsteps. Although I got more information, uncertainties are gathering around this whole ordeal, and I only know enough to be able to do exactly what I was brought here to do.

Well played.

Well, at least I've been able to let someone verify that when he lets himself go completely, corpses will always reappear. That half-state he gets into with me is not the same. _I don't feel like my blood evaporating to evolve though._

'You were exceptionally obedient for your doing.' I huffed giving my answer,

'I have one or two things on my mind.'

'Odd to say when your focus is completely on me, considering you're in our mansion, in my room, after two days of boredom.' Finally emerging from the bathroom, he threw the towel for his hair away. It was still dripping slightly, and sticking everywhere against his skin. He pulled it back before making the final steps my way.

'Well, being your own employer brings its responsibilities with it.' I raised my hand, stroking a strand of hair back out in front of him, letting my finger glide through it. As soon as I'd done so though, he moved it back again, deciding to ignore everything and grabbing my face to pull me in for a kiss. Surprised out of my breath for a second, but not unamused, I greedily wrapped my arms around his bare waist. I opened my mouth, letting the tips of our tongues find each other, inclining our heads to deepen it immediately. I still let my hand reach up and entwine my fingers with his hair though, and pulled his head back sharply by it so I got his throat offered to me. A small gasp escaping Illumi's lips, made me lay my lips against his throat, and started sucking on the sensitive skin while I could feel both his breathing and heartbeat in my own throat. His hands slid down my chest, landing on my waist, and pulling me with him against the edge of the bed. I bit down in his flesh before he pulled away, sitting down on the edge. Feeling his tongue trailing down, I placed myself in between his legs. I raked my fingers up through his damping wet hair when I noticed he not once used his hands to give me some freedom. _You have quite the powerful and agile tongue, Illumi-kun._ He even pulled the pants down with his teeth. I'd like to take credit for teaching him all this, but he's actually becoming creative himself.

I stepped out of it when he pulled it the ground with his hands, before they slid back to my ass, gripping me tightly. He teased by hovering over it though,

'You don't have a healer here, I suggest you protect yourself better than last time, because I'm not being tied up again.' I threw my head back and had to laugh at the timing – this statement coming out of him with his eyes on my dick.

'Don't worry, I'm fairly fond of it myself, I won't risk it.' He looked up a second when I looked down again, and I could see the annoyed responses in his mind, but he kept quiet about it nonetheless. Instead, while still looking, he decided to wrap his tongue around my tip, pulling it into his mouth. _'Aah~ yes…'_ I let out unsubtly, breathing out deeply. I know that everywhere here there's surveillance planted, and it has to be in this room as well. I'm so glad Illumi cares as little about that as I do.

His hands moved up and down my skin, squeezing and parting my cheeks, moving one hand back to the front to fondle my balls and pump me a bit.

I have to say I got lost in the feeling a bit more than usual because of where we were, and it did not take Illumi very long to get me hard. Usually I stretch this more… I felt his tongue lick up my length all the way to the top, taking me in completely. His warm throat caused pleasurable vibrations around me. Distracted by that eager feeling, he caught me by surprise when he didn't stop while he pushed a finger inside of me. My usual sounds stopped a second, and I opened my eyes, looking down at him. _So you pumped me just to moisten your fingers? What a devilish thing to –_

I was halted in my thoughts when a second finger pushed in, scissoring me, not even finding the right spot inside of me, just preparing me. _Aah~ but the magic of your tongue is too mesmerizing…_

'I thought you were the one that protested being conditioned like this.' But if he's preparing me, then he's already hard himself? He pulled away on both sides, looking up at me. I looked a little further down first though, my grin growing wider when I noticed that he actually was. _At least the conditioning on_ your _body has been excellently done, if I do say so myself._

'I'm not conditioning, you're just going to be bottom tonight, or would you rather not have had preparation?' I bit my lip looking down at that flushed, slightly less stoic face, and was unable to resist anything of him.

So I inclined my head, letting hands slip away from his hair, and pulling his hands off me. Noticing that I was willing for a change, he motioned me to give him the room to stand up. Without touching each other, he stood right in front of me, walking us back to a clear piece of wall – a rarity in this room. Although I was agreeing to submitting, I was slightly hesitant about what he was planning to do. Still, just before I hit the wall with my back, he slammed me violently against it, rubbing his dick up against mine. He grabbed my wrists, pinning them against the wall as well, setting his lips on my neck. Remembering that the smell of blood would not help to keep his aura in check, I decided to refrain from taunting him.

He had no trouble doing that to me though.

He let go of my wrists after a while, licking up to my ear, giving me the command,

'Wrap your legs around me.' It was in such a commanding and wanting tone that I had to remind myself it was Illumi saying it,

'Ah, but this is fine as well, isn't it?' Hearing the first and last protest, he slid his hands down, strengthening his hands around my waist, lifting me effortlessly, and slamming me against the wall harder when my legs had snaked around him. The air was knocked out of my lungs. Half the time I feel like he's merely getting back at what I make him do while he's submitting, but there's prominent proof that he thoroughly likes both positions. And that prominent proof was positioned right at my entrance, even before my arms had found their way around his shoulders. I started whispering in his ear, 'Do whatever you— _aah!_ ' But I was cut off as he didn't even let me the room to lower myself, pulling me down over him. An equally satisfied sound exited his throat as well though. 'Well, you're feeling forceful tonight.'

'You're more submissive than usual, of course I'm taking advantage of that.' I chuckled close to his ear, but I didn't get a chance to revel in anything but how much Illumi apparently wanted to dominate me tonight. Angling himself, he rubbed my dick up against his abs as well, and I twitched both against as around him. That he appreciated that was clearly heard in his voice before he slammed me in a more pleasurable way. And if we were repaying debts either way, I lay my head against his, and clasped myself around him when he pulled out a bit further again. The muscles in his lower body hitched all the way when I did that, and his breath staggered against my skin. He didn't let that stop him though, instead he decided that he very much liked this, and slowly repeated the movement, hitting me better than before. I breathed out as hard as he did this time. I had to do my very best not to claw into his back or bite his ear at this point – but if he's enjoying it so much, then I'm not provoking it any further.

I didn't stop what I was doing, even when he started up a pace, doing his best not to crush my hips with his hands in the excitement. _I think I will need to do my best more with dominating if I want him to listen again after this…_

I grabbed his hair tighter, making him unable to move his head anymore, and threw my own back when the pace became merciless and breathing became harder. He slammed his fist next to me against the wall and slowed down after a while. He's not used to having to do this while this excited, is he. There's only so much he's experienced with his client – it was all controlled.

He pulled his head, forcing me to let go of his hair, breathing hard. I chuckled softly before snapping my head back again, deciding that if he was unable to restrain himself any longer, that I wasn't going to do so either. I pushed myself up and down again on top of him, ushering him to continue. In the end he couldn't resist anymore, and set his teeth in my chest before finding the resolve to allow himself the pleasure and finishing it as quick as his body allowed it. His teeth let go of me when breathing became a necessity again. The deep grunts exiting him were the only warning I got when he pressed against me completely, slowly moving to ride out the pleasure his lower body was giving him. I let out a louder scream when I let myself go as well, my legs clasping around him for dear life while my body let it be known I'd very much liked our activities and contently squirted out over the both of us in shocks. I laughed softly and took a couple of deep breaths enjoying the aftermath. _I do like this, but my preference will always be the other way around._

It took him a while longer to regain some composure again. I was the first to be able to react again, removing myself and putting my legs back on the ground. Illumi's fist stayed connected to the wall though, and his head nuzzled up to my neck. I glided my hand up his back to the back of his head. I'd have loved to pretend that this was a cute moment of it being too much for Illumi, but that was not the case.

I pulled his head away from me forcefully, simultaneously pushing him away. He raised his head and took a deep breath, pushing the nen away again. I lifted my fingers to the place on my neck, but even though I'd felt the sensation, it'd been cut off in time; I'd used enough protection against it.

'You held out well this time.' I took a look at my hand for a second longer before turning attention back to Illumi. He was having a bit more trouble than usual to get it back under control, and my amusement dropped. _Should I do the same as last time? Was that needed again already?_

When after another minute he responded normally though, I smiled in relief.

'This is getting troublesome, you've activated it too many times with me already.' He lowered his head again, looking back at me. 'Until I have more control, we will not have sex again. Perhaps that's good motivation for you to make the training efficient.' I should be disgruntled to hear those words. But the actual fact that sex with me is the one way in which he can let his control go is too amusing to me.

Besides, control is supposed to become harder, Illumi-kun, you know this as well. This is not a ban, this is insecurity, isn't it.

'Mah~, I can wait.' I calmly answered realizing all this, leaving for the bathroom first, Illumi following close behind. 'I'll activate that cube in a minute.'

'Appreciated.'


	7. Chapter 7

Waking up in the morning in my own bed with somebody else in it wasn't a usual set-up for me. There had been moments when I was younger where I'd allowed my brothers to join after a particularly hard day of training, but even that had been a rarity – because usually I'd been one of the persons having put them through it.

Having Hisoka next to me in the early morning certainly did not belong in that rare picture either. I looked behind me after having shuffled my legs off the side of the bed, and reclaimed all of my hair from under his arm. He must be very pleased with himself that I'd allowed him to stay. He's never off-guard though, most certainly not in this mansion, and right now he was only in half-sleep.

But when have I become so casual around Hisoka that I allow him to sleep next to me, convinced that he won't kill me? All this stuff surrounding our physical activities is unwanted. For the way I've been raised, this kind of comfort around anyone – even family – is a bad thing. But my parents are actually enforcing this to get control over that power. They're _expecting_ me to get close to someone, and not just for show like usual. What do they expect will happen after this training is done? Because I'm not waiting to feel attached to anyone outside the family.

It's odd, that with this unclear goal set in my training, that I feel "comfort" about anything. In here it's father and Hisoka with their own agendas, outside it's Kurapika and Chrollo with their own agendas, by all means I shouldn't be able to feel "comfort" any time. I should've sent Hisoka out after the sex.

Ah, I still need to check in with Milluki about that strange intruder, might as well ask him to put surveillance on the Kurta as well – the deviance in his behavior might become a problem in the future. Although he's currently not doing anything to inconvenience us, it might be wise to keep an eye on at least him. Keeping an eye on Chrollo is unfortunately near impossible.

Now that I was awake again, none of that comfort remained though; the only thing I'm currently sure of is that I won't be driven to my death by my own family, but like always that I'll have to keep on my toes to survive – that's nothing new. That I'm supposed to survive with the help of someone…

I turned my eyes back to the cube. Last night it'd expanded out, and glowed a dull, blackish light. Am I supposed to feel different because of this? I can sense it's there, but that's it. Should I try to activate the power now? I _am_ not completely back to myself yet because of the clown, so I might as well try on my own.

I stood up and took the thing with me, taking some distance from Hisoka; he's not essential in stopping me either way, he has even less of an idea on how to do that than I have. Besides agitating me there's little reason for him to be here.

I put it back down on the ground on the far end of the room and sat down behind it against the door, facing him. I slowly closed my eyes, taking up the memory of blood yesterday to start flipping the switch.

It was disturbingly easy to have that alien feeling take over again, but considering our goal, that was a good thing. Besides, if it was able to flip without me noticing, of course it wasn't going to take a lot of effort giving it actual permission. It didn't take me more than a minute before my standard powers were replaced with the other nen completely. The difficult part here, was preventing myself from giving in to what it was demanding me to do.

'… …' I strained my muscles some more, fixating them so I wouldn't move from my spot. This nen, it seems to have a chameleon type quality; I flip back and forth between it, but there's still a change in power even though it doesn't seem to multiply.

It was the moment where something I hadn't felt before entered me that my survival instincts told me to put a stop to it.

Unfortunately it was also this point where all that there was left to do was to let it go completely berserk. I've just unintentionally crossed a dangerous border. _Is that what this device is doing? It's ushering me to stay in this nen?_ What will happen if I'm able to stay in this power without attacking anyone? How will it be in comparison to my normal strength?

'That's enough.' I opened my eyes and looked up at Hisoka when he turned the device off, but it did nothing to where I currently was. To be honest, at the point Hisoka decided to interfere, it started to feel so fluid and natural that curiosity started to push away the survival instinct. 'Don't do any of this on your own. This may be hard to hear, but we'll have to cooperate.' He was saying this, but he still kept himself at a distance when I rose to my feet. He looked disgruntled. But not even that was going through me consciously. I raised my lips into a smile. There was not really anything holding me back, but I wasn't "hungry" at this point, and Hisoka wasn't challenging me. That was all there was to it. I raised my hand and clawed out my fingers, noticing that my aura stood wider than anticipated. Interesting indeed, because the amount of nen was still the same. 'Well, if you're going to continue anyway, at least try to contain yourself a little.' He pulled the box away with his nen, shortly making contact with mine – which seemed to be a very bad thing.

Something akin to an electrical shock went through me, and threw me in a half-state where it kept flickering back and forth. I'd felt the same last time he helped me turn back, but not to this intensity. I tried to keep focus on Hisoka in front of me, but this flickering was heavier than my body could handle apparently, and I lost consciousness for a second.

I slumped down to the floor, and forced the change to go over completely before something like that would happen again. It took longer than I wanted to allow it, but after another minute or two, I was back to normal. _Changing back after crossing the border is apparently not allowed, I don't think I like that._

Hunched over on my knees, my arms having kept me from smacking to the floor, I kept my eyes closed and took a couple of deep breaths to calm down completely.

'Well that was interesting.'

'That is a way to describe it.' Although there was no amusement in his tone, his presence wasn't appreciated anyway. I've never once fallen unconscious from anything, and my training hasn't exactly been easy. I'm far from having control over this. 'You said you had a plan to control it?' Although the feeling after having switched had felt good, I don't appreciate the fact it doesn't allow my own nen to exist. Making the switch isn't becoming more appealing.

'I think you need a break first.' He squatted down in front of me, and I grabbed the hair hanging around me, moving it to the back as I sat back up. Hisoka's mouth dropped a bit when I did, and when I gave him a questioning look, he did the same as before I went on mission, letting me feel that underneath the surface I was still in that other mode, this time only a small shock going through me. _You're an intruder, hiding yourself._ I closed my eyes a second to turn that back as well – that level I can push back. 'One of your eyes had turned white.'

'Ah.' He already answered before I could ask how he noticed without sensing my nen. I reached up to the eye he'd pointed at, and glided a finger along the edges. Physically there was nothing different anymore.

When Hisoka stood back up, I had to say it though,

'You have no idea how to control this.' He huffed and closed his eyes, reaching out a hand to help me up, but I refused the assistance. 'You're depending on my sense of control.'

'Seems like I'll have to get myself educated a bit more though.' I decided not to respond to that, 'Perhaps continuous contact with other nen is a good way, because going halfway did not seem to do you good.' Not exactly, no. 'I'm guessing that it won't work in later stages though, else this power would be useless. Let's just stay at this level a bit-' He retreated his finger first when he pointed it at me again, and then his entire body. The tip of his finger had started losing skin. Seeing that, I reached back up to my eye, holding my hand in front of it and willing it back once more.

'I suggest you keep that box at a safe distance.' I responded calmly when everything went back to normal again, but calm was not what I was.

And neither was Hisoka.

'I don't think we have a choice anymore in our tempo, do we.' I shook my head while he turned around and picked the closed cube up again, putting it away. 'I'll figure out a way, don't worry.' He grinned back up at me, but there was very little amusement in it. I'm guessing that he doesn't like the idea of Chrollo developing any of this.

Hisoka walked past me out the door a second later, not even making an attempt to touch me. Although we haven't fought with my flipped switch, the nature of those other powers would make it a one-sided battle, wouldn't it.

I blinked a couple of times, snapping myself out of it to get dressed and pay a visit to Milluki. It will be Hisoka's job for now to find a way to control it, so I'll focus on keeping an eye on what his former healer is doing. He has to be aware of this deviant behavior as well, but not believe it consequential enough to do something about it. Your lackluster attitude is what's going to kill you with the amount of enemies you have, Hisoka, not a strong opponent like how you wish to go.

* * *

_Aaah~ this is quite the troublesome situation indeed._

I opened my eyes up to the scarce, slow moving clouds to put my thoughts in order. The top of the roof had seemed like the best place to do so, but I was still mostly drawing up blanks on helping Illumi through this without killing myself.

I'm very much interested in seeing this through to the end, but I think a healer is going to be a necessity. However, one will not be contacted until either I'm about to die, or someone else. Looking at the missing skin on the tip of my finger, I full well realize that the kind of contact I enjoy most with Illumi-kun is really limited until he gains control one way or the other. I mean, he barely contained it last night, and this morning hadn't exactly made it better. The… "thing" inside of him really wants to get out, doesn't it.

I laid my hand back down on my stomach, looking back up at the sky. Is that really how Illumi used to be? I mean, I can understand they'd train him to suppress it, but to the point where there's practically two different entities?

'Hmph.' I smiled and closed my eyes again when remembering what kind of family I'm actually dealing with. Besides that, Illumi's specialty is disguise and alteration, so it's not unthinkable this would be the way that other him is suppressed. That independent moving white eye I did not appreciate though. _I know you're a chameleon when it comes to your appearance, don't become the actual animal._

Now, how do I stop this from happening…

Because I don't think continuous contact with his nen is very appealing, also considering the fact that his nen is infectious and I don't want my blood evaporating to evolve to the point where it also happens inside of my body.

'Say Hisoka, did you know?' My thought process was interrupted a second later. _Well speak of the devil,_

'Hm?'

'You actually need to be useful or else there will be consequences.' I laughed softly when after narrowly escaping the mansion hours earlier, Illumi had decided to find me again. Apparently I'd missed a couple of traps that had been set up on my way in. I think I've seen every one of them concerning the path to Illumi's room by now. He leaned over my head, casting a shadow.

'To be useful I need a plan first, don't I?' I slit my eyes open to him. 'I thought that calming down first would be a good idea either way.' I either need to find out why he's been prone to being activated without him noticing, or I need to figure out how to help shut him off when things are in danger of losing control. I'd hate for a falling out to happen when I'm near. However, I very much have a lack of experience concerning this power of his, and it's keeping me from thinking of anything. The only thing I can actually reinforce is making it comfortable enough for him that he's willing to switch completely. But for that, I need to convince him it's all going to work out in the end.

'Do you have one yet?' I shuffled myself up some more to close our distance, but he straightened his back again when I started to lean up on my elbows. I pouted up at him, but all he did was wait for an answer. I hung my head and sighed when I noticed he wasn't up for a bit of playing. _Just a kiss would've been alright._ It's going to take quite the convincing, isn't it.

Illumi left me alone for the entire afternoon though, somewhere I'm curious what he's been doing – what does he do when he's not working? Is training really all he does?

'Well, we need to experiment on how to turn your switch off more effectively. Besides that, I just need you to tell me what _you_ feel is happening during all of it.' First of all, he needs to believe I'm on top of this, and we're severely lacking in that area – he's not been subtle in letting that be known.

I looked back at him when he decided to sit down next to me. _I can't blame you for being tense in all of this, but it's not exactly helping._ Although sex usually relaxes you a little, we can't use that at this point. _Such the shame…_

'We're not doing anything anymore today?' My lips pulled up a little,

'You're free for the day.' He pulled his legs up and loosely lay his arms around his knees. A teacher once again, aren't I. I think I liked last time a little better though.

I mimicked his position,

'Are you sure you'll make Chrollo's deadline taking your time like this.' I laughed when I heard that question,

'You're so anxious to just get it over with that you're using _that_ as an excuse?' I got a threatening look back for that when he only turned his eyes my way, and I lifted my hand in apology. When he didn't retort, I turned to look back over the mountain and daylight slowly fading over the treetops. 'Have you been agitating the power on your own more often?'

'Yes.' I let out a small, displeased grunt when I heard that answer.

'Been told to do that, haven't you.'

'Of course.' _I don't think I like whatever plan you have for my toy, Silva._ Because this won't end well if it happens without a little control. You as his father should be aware of this.

'Aaah… you're too tense, Illumi-kun, we need to relax you a bit.' In the end I decided to just say it. He gave me a short look before he didn't hesitate to throw his leg over me and push me down flat against the roof. I blinked up at him surprised a couple of moments before I huffed and responded, 'Did you do that because _you_ see it as relaxation, or because _I_ do.' I saw he swallowed his usual response that it didn't matter – because he knew it did, and changed the subject instead. _Just don't start this game unintentionally, I feel like surviving the day._

'What did you intend then?' I ignored that he very easily admitted he was tense. He probably saw it as futile considering it was so obvious.

'Next to going into that berserk mode or having sex with me, what do you do to wind down when you're tense?' He didn't bother to move away from me while he was thinking this over. Being in this position I was still unable to resist letting my hands travel up his butt though. He didn't even push them away, keeping close eye contact, only thinking about my question. _You're an interesting creature._ 'Not that I mind, but you're taking a while to answer. Don't you have anything else?' He blinked a couple of times, before inclining his head and giving me the short answer.

'No.' _Well I guess that someone so bound by duty doesn't really get tense about doing what they're supposed to..._ 'The only times I needed to relax I used the other nen.'

'Well… perhaps sex with me is out of the question, but some masturbation could help.' The look in his eyes where he was considering this was too cute. I reveled in it a bit too long when he leaned back up from me, but I grabbed hold of his waist before he could go. 'Or how does torturing sound?'

'I don't get pleasure from torture in itself, it has to be for a mission.'

'And I don't think it helps if I give you that mission, does it.' He shook his head. This could be problematic. I don't exactly know a lot about his personal life. _Do you actually like violence, or is that really just because of the fulfillment of a mission? Would you like… regular ways of relaxation? You Zoldycks are a tough crowd._ I sighed to myself when I noticed my train of thought was leading me nowhere.

'You're having trouble coming up with something?' Every bit of subtly was missing from his tone.

'Well at least you take pleasure in seeing me helpless, don't you.'

'Ah, you might have a point.' _I don't think I like the sound of that…_ I quickly changed the subject.

'Do you perhaps know where Killua-kun is? There's some fun to have there, isn't there.'

'Yes, I know where he is.' Next to the look in his eyes becoming increasingly more dangerous, I was impressed that he knew. The Kurta had hid himself and the boys pretty well. Seemed that he found out the little trick the blonde had used during the mission then. Made me wonder why Danchou had still been unable to find him though. _Are you stalling for something after giving me a time limit? That would be strange._

'Don't look at me like that, we can just follow him around a bit, I don't plan to do anything to hurt him.'

'You want to come along?' He pressed me down again with one hand when I wanted to lean up on my elbows,

'Well, I'll be accompanied by you, surely you can hold a leash on me?' Gears were turning while the force on my chest slowly decreased. It disappeared completely when he grabbed me by the shirt and lifted me to sit upright and close to him. I have this feeling that I'm only going to like a part of what we're going to do.

'You explain your reason to father, if he allows I have ways of taking you with me.' _No, I definitely think you're still using seeing me helpless to relax tonight._ The look in his eyes was telling me _that_ much. Either way though, it was bound to be more fun than just hanging around here, drawing up blanks. I want to visit that demented building again soon…

… No, I don't think Silva would appreciate it if I'd lead Illumi to that other building where corpses have been appearing again. I'm not suicidal.

Too bad though.

'It's a deal.'

'There was not really a choice, but alright.' Hearing those words, I grabbed his hair and pulled him closer a second to bite him in the ear. That small sound entering my ears was probably all I was gonna get for a while, so I reveled in it a second before letting go and licking and kissing it.

I let his hair glide away through my fingers when he stood back up from me. _Oh yes, I like this view as well._

'Get off this roof and I'll contact father.' I panned my eyes back up to his face and gave him an innocent smile before he disappeared from my sight in a flash. He needs to get back to the point where he feels like he's in control, or else I'm going to be the first collateral damage. I'm sure I'm being used as that either way though.

I pushed myself back to my feet and looked down.

I'm doing a lot that I don't enjoy doing for the couple of things I do enjoy, don't I.

Oh well, the pay-off's most probably worth it.

I made my way down in a second, following the focus of my interest to get permission from Silva.

* * *

Hisoka convincing father hadn't taken long. Apparently as long as the means meet the end, it's alright with him. Plus we both know it's not hard to keep Hisoka from doing anything unwanted as long as I have him close. We have our methods for this.

'I know I suggested we get a pet, but I don't think you understood completely.' He sounded displeased with the measures taken, even though he'd been allowed out. There's a limit to his submission for pay-off, I'm very much aware of this. That only convinced me more to do this though.

'Well, you liked the collar so much, I didn't think you'd mind.' I looked down at a disgruntled Hisoka squatting next to me on the edge of the roof, keeping eye on the entrance of the hotel Kil was staying at. It hadn't taken Milluki long to find him. Considering Killua currently believes he's untraceable due to the Kurta's words, he's not going to detect the surveillance on him so easily.

'Hmph, if you're mocking me already, I think relaxation is working.' He refrained from touching the collar as per instruction, but I could see he wanted to take it off anyway. Although I implemented it on one of the collars he once bought for me – which he never stopped delivering to me – it's among other things fitted with something we use to train the dogs with. Every time it's touched, the pins on the inside will bury deeper into the skin. If you touch the buckle, it will tighten to a stranglehold - all of this can be remote controlled as well. It's useless to try and rip it off with your hands either way. Before even Hisoka can remove it, he will have choked or touched the collar itself so much that his neck is pincushion. Nen touch included of course. I added a small feature for punishment if he attempted to walk away, which is that if he doesn't want any of this activating, he needs to stay within a certain distance of a device that's lodged behind my ear. He won't get anywhere near that without me noticing.

'If we're still here for Killua-kun, there he is.' He lazily pointed down at the hotel doors, and I turned my eyes to see him and Gon exiting, seemingly without a care in the world. When they turned left, we both moved on to the next building.

'How were you able to find him anyway?' This time he kept standing next to me, pocketing his hands to keep himself from wanting to remove the embarrassment around his neck. I should have used a normal dog collar, that would've been worse for him. I think I actually have to agree with him this time though, human pets _are_ more fun.

I placed a hand on my hip, looking back down at my little brother, answering Hisoka,

'Kurapika's using a trick he learned from using his In chains, being able to transfer it to others by now. It wasn't hard once I realized that. He used it at our meeting as well.'

'That doesn't tell me how you found them.'

'Well.' He grunted at hearing that answer. Not surprising, none of this was amusing to him, mainly annoying. Yes, I think he was right that seeing him like this helps to… lift my mood.

I blinked after using that term in my head. It felt strange to even think it, but I agree that getting my mind of the fact I'm pushed into something extremely uncomfortable did help. We watched Killua walk down the street, seemingly without a care in the world, with Gon close behind him. He was leading the way, that was new.

'He's been slacking off lately. He hasn't done any extensive training since he returned from Greed Island. I'm going to have to force a situation.' The intent next to me increased within the second before he remembered we were supposed to be stealth.

'Already have something in mind?'

'Ah, I figured you liked hearing that.' We moved to the next building without a sound when they walked off too far again and turned a corner. While still walking on the roof to follow them, I continued. 'I have a couple of plans when everything happening now has been resolved. Is that also good motivation for you to figure out a way to control this?' He didn't answer, but I didn't need to look around to know his answer to that. He has a deadline for Chrollo, I doubt that he's stretching it, so he doesn't know a lot about this either.

'Should we follow them into the building?' A couple hundred meters along their journey they'd walked into another hotel, but I raised my hand that we could just wait.

'This is where the Kurta is currently staying, no need to worry.' Silence stretched on a little. Both between me and Hisoka as with the activity of Kil. They were probably not going to go out anymore, at this point it's more interesting to move closer to the actual room and monitor it using that trick Hisoka mentioned.

'What did you do all day?' I stopped my movement before it started when I heard the question and looked around at the redhead.

'That's an odd question coming from you.' A grin grew on his face, but his eyes stayed fixed on the building.

'I just missed you so much.' You're saying it as a joke, but you're frustrated you don't have a better grasp on the situation, do you.

'Not likewise.'

'Hmph.' He huffed getting that response, but didn't continue the questions.

'We're here to calm _me_ down, but you need it more, don't you.' He didn't answer that either. He's obviously disgruntled everything's taking more effort than he thought it would. I can't blame him for that; I'm taking up a whole lot of effort, and he won't even fight me in the end. All that's waiting is an uncertain fight against Chrollo. So our sex must be really amazing for him that he's doing all this for mainly that.

I sighed before deciding to give an explanation either way to pass the time. He needs a reward, he's more productive that way. _Usually you're able to get your own rewards though._

'There might have been an intruder last night, Milluki has been set on investigating.'

'An intruder? How unusual.'

'Unusual doesn't cut it, we never have intruders that can bypass the surveillance, our butlers and us.' It's unsettling on top of everything else. By now Mil probably has contacted our parents for this, and I've given this task to him completely. I'm not concerning myself with something I can't do anything about with the tasks already on my plate.

'No luck yet then?' I shook my head. 'You didn't even catch his appearance or aura?' When I shook my head again absentmindedly, he decided to pan his eyes back to me. 'Isn't that impossible? Are you sure there actually _was_ an intruder?'

'You're suggesting I was hallucinating?' I reacted insulted,

'I'm suggesting that if there was someone like that, you've acquired quite the troublesome enemy.'

'There's a reason I was gone all day.' He let out a small breath before I decided to take the direction of the hotel either way.

But I had to stop halfway down when I noticed the four of them exiting the building after all. Hisoka landed flush behind me on the small ridge I was balancing on. Apparently this Leorio was staying with the Kurta now as well.

'Ah, look, my previous leverage.'

'You don't need leverage on him anymore, and it's very easy to force him either way.'

'Well, with your family's unpredictability, a back-up doesn't hurt.' I grabbed his hand before it found its way to my hip. For someone who's aware of what could happen if control was lost, he's really eager for physical contact with me.

'Do you need to have sex with someone else in the meantime, because you know you'll probably die if we go all the way at this point.'

'Hmm~….!' We both stopped this interaction instantly when our attention was drawn by the Kurta who'd released his aura and looked straight up at us. We'd been completely concealed, how had he….

…I sighed when I realized that didn't matter - we had to relocate from the point the others followed Kurapika's line of sight and four pairs of eyes looked up at us. That would attract attention from random others as well.

'How peculiar.'

'Indeed.' A moment later we disappeared from our spot and went back into hiding, giving up on following them the rest of the night. That Leorio had almost started yelling at the sight of us, Gon had already exclaimed something, and Killua had gone on-guard. But it had been Kurapika again to attract the most attention. 'What do you know about what he does in his free time.' We stopped a couple of buildings away, Hisoka just behind me.

'He doesn't really let himself be followed around.' I turned around at hearing the answer. Hisoka had been sincere, 'He doesn't do anything in particular when he notices I'm following.' He shrugged, not being able to give me more information.

'Then can you tell me what he meant with "Have fun with each other as long as you can"?' He'd mouthed those words to us before we were gone, his intent clearly on the extreme again. Hisoka's hands relocated to his hips, his entire expression told me he was unamused.

'Who knows. Considering they all looked happy, I don't think the infection is deteriorating him any further. He might be referring to what you're becoming and what kind of effect that will have.' He knew nothing.

'He has killed.'

'You noticed as well.'

'No idea who?'

'No.'

'We're not getting anywhere with this.'

'No we're not.' He shifted weight on his leg. This is not helping to calm me down. Kurapika has just challenged not just Hisoka, but me as well – he should know that's a bad idea.

'He's arrogant.'

'He's crossed a line, it tends to make you arrogant.'

'You're referring to taking the liberty of taking a life?' He nodded, 'Is that also why you became arrogant in visiting me after missions?' He started laughing when he heard the words,

'That was more you allowing me to cross the line. But let's return and try a different way of relaxation.'

'Ah, you thought of something?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God did I love putting Hisoka on a leash, you have no idea.


	8. Chapter 8

I hate to admit it, and I won't verbally express it, but Hisoka's method had actually worked - even though it was more him just venting his frustrations. On top of that _he_ was more relaxed as well, although his reactions after the method had been a bit off. In a couple of moments it will be a lot easier to try and flip the switch again, I just have to take these victims with me. These three don't have information to give anymore, so I'm allowed to kill them.

In the process of picking them up, I also got a message from Milluki that Kil had shaken his surveillance again already – I'm figuring that was the Kurta's doing though, he's more focused at this point. According to Mil, there was no new information that could be used, but I'll judge that for myself after this training is done.

* * *

 _'We're doing something here?' It had taken a good couple of hours to return again, and it was well into the morning by now. The collar was itching around my neck, and I'd had all I could take in having to submit to these less than rewarding activities. Even though we'd had sex before his falling out and I've gone far longer without, I'm being denied around every corner. The amusement with Illumi while this collar was on had been good for_ him _, but I've had enough._

_'Well, the mansion's kind of dangerous, isn't it?' I turned around when he'd stepped inside as well and already removed my cuffs._

_'You're planning on having sex when you know you can die? That's extreme for you, and it won't exactly relax me.' He inclined his head, crossing his arms,_

_'I have a method that will serve our purposes, just let me-!' I was stopped giving my response when he snapped his fingers, and the pins in the collar pressed marginally into my skin._ You're having too much fun doing this. _I gave him an unamused look,_

_'You're unnecessarily playing with your life just because there's little pay-off. Instead of keeping doing this, how about you tell me how to satisfy your needs.'_

_'… …' I blinked a couple of times in surprise when I heard that sentence. When I raised my hand to my mouth to suppress a laugh, he snapped his fingers again, and I felt the pins pierce my skin. That was a very short-lived amusement. 'We're not really getting anywhere if we're only trying to service the other, are we.' He gave a short nod, agreeing, 'So how about you take this collar off and you let me do what I had in mind.' I opened my arms in offer, making Illumi relocate his hands to his hips,_

_'You actually have a plan to keep yourself safe then?'_

_'I'll be safe enough.' I took a step closer and grabbed his fingers when he wanted to snap them again. This was getting old real fast. 'Although I know you love seeing me submit, I'd very much appreciate it if you took this collar off.' Of all things, you_ should _know I don't have a death wish. There's not big enough a pay-off to get now to risk something like that._

_'Alright. Let go of my hand.' He finally seemed to understand after that, and pushed a couple of buttons on the device behind his ear, making the collar pop loose and the pins disappeared from my neck. He stopped me from taking it off completely though, and pressed another button to disarm it all the way. He then tossed it away to a random corner, and did the same with the device behind his ear. 'So what was your plan?' I saw him looking at the pricks of blood dripping down a little, and I quickly made sure that became invisible._

_'Trust me.' I grabbed his wrist and it took me a couple of moves before I was allowed to push him to the ground. I sat on the small of his back, holding one arm behind him and clawing the fingers of my other into his hair. I say allowed to, because if he'd continued to struggle, I wouldn't have been able to do this. That was the only trust I'd needed. Step one complete._

_'Do you actually_ have _a plan?' Illumi turned his head to speak up and turn his eyes towards me while I still had a firm grip in his hair. He was not void of danger._

_'It's very simple.' I grinned down at him. 'I've been lowering my guard a bit too much, I just need to treat this as a fight.'_

_'Ah, you'll just snap me out of it sooner.'_

_'Exactly.' As soon as he understood, I let go of him and shuffled lower on his body, lifting his ass up in the air by the waist,_

_'That won't work for very long, you get distracted easily.' He lifted himself to all fours when I spread his legs a little to glide my hand in between them to the front._

_'Well, then the less talk, the better, right?' He let out a breath when he felt my fingers contouring him. Good, that means you're willing to at least try. 'Believe me, we'll all feel better after this.' I can tell Illumi's uncomfortable with intimacies, so sex without visual contact should be better. Too bad though._

_I pressed more firmly against his crotch, massaging the area, and it didn't take long before Illumi turned his head back to the front. He seemed to understand the concept of finishing this quickly, and let himself get excited without inhibition. His excited breaths and willingness had a good effect on my own excitement as well, and I groaned at the prospect again. I had to make sure to not get lost in that feeling completely though, not tonight. I retreated my hand, and slid them around his hips, pressing myself firmly against him and opening his pants. I hooked my hands under his shirt first though, and glided that up so I could kiss and lick that bare back instead of annoying clothes. I grinded up against him from behind, getting myself more and more excited listening to those small breaths, and feeling the slight contractions in his muscles._

_When it took too long for him without being touched though, he leaned us both back up and slid his shirt off completely, throwing it away into the mess that was still this shack._

_'If time is important, I suggest you do what I like most.' My lips landed next to his neck and my eyes opened a bit wider hearing those tempting words._

_'You're making it more difficult the bigger our contact area is though.' I whispered to him._

_'You're a nen expert, it shouldn't matter.' I groaned pleased and nuzzled into his hair, licking my lips._

_'You make such the strong case.' He helped in moving his hair over one shoulder, pulling his pants further down himself._

_'It'll only work if you're excited yourself.'_

_'That's not a problem.' I grinned and took the room to open and pull my pants down as well, laying the hand on myself, 'Just give me a minute.' I wrapped my free arm around his chest and pulled him back a bit, playing with his nipples, and breathing heavily close to his ear. It's not usual that I help myself like this, but I can't say I object to letting my hand stroke myself with someone else present._

_After a couple moments he lifted his hands himself, laying one over mine and gliding it up around his neck, letting his head fall back, allowing me to stroke all along it. I could feel his pulse increase so close underneath the skin, and I ran my thumb along the length, exuding pressure that made him breathe harder. His other hand raised to my head, grabbing a handful of my hair, keeping me there while my fingers wrapped around his neck._ I think I need to make this quick indeed if we're doing what you love most. _I already needed to put quite a protection over my skin, and alert you just now._

_'You get so excited so easily with this.' He didn't react to that. I can't deny that seeing him like this didn't work for me though, it's such a huge amount of trust that he gives that he doesn't have in me. 'But let's get started before it drags on anyway.' I let go of myself and his neck, and straightened our positions, placing myself at his entrance and pushing in without preparation. I breathed out hard against his skin when I was allowed the sensation again. Yes, I do believe I prefer entering you over the other way around._

_I took this moment to calm down a little though, and reminded him to switch back to his normal nen once again. He reluctantly took the moment to do this before we continued. I cooed a thank you in his ear before I slid my hand back around his chest and up to his neck, while my other hand found its way around his dick._

_What Illumi loved doing most required quite a lot from me though, but I took satisfaction enough in his reactions._

_I slowly thrust inside of him, while I made sure he became good and hard himself, feeling and hearing his breaths when he lay his head back against my shoulder._

Ooh~ Illumi-kun, there's nothing I love more than seeing you like this. _I closed my eyes in delight, but realized I really shouldn't dawdle._

_'Let's do this then, shall we.' He got a very short moment of relief to catch his breath before I increased the grip around his neck just enough to make him short of breath and I could feel his heart pumping harder to get blood through. I licked along a free part of his neck up to his ear, and bit down on it. My fingertips itching to press harder into his skin._

_It's not often that he allows me to do this and the first time he discovered he liked this was when we'd had a short fight again. Since then there are moments, but letting me do this at a point where I have more reason to end him than not…_ you really have lost all sense of danger around me, haven't you. _It's either that or you have a better grasp of my intentions then I'm aware of…_

_I can't say either one of those is a turn off though. But we're not stopping here..._

_'Just keep making those delicious sounds.' I whispered through my teeth as my other hand glided up his length. I rubbed my middle finger along under his tip, feeling the result in his neck and the increasing expanding and settling of his chest. I let his ear go and lay my lips against his skin, closing my eyes to savor in the sound when I pressed the tip of my index finger down into the other opening. I groaned out loudly when I heard his body wanted to do that as well. I pressed in further, keeping my middle finger running along the tip. His pulse increased so rapidly that I grabbed his neck more tightly in the excitement, and I had to keep myself from biting him again when he pulsed around my dick._ You never really last like this, do you. _But that's the whole idea today._

_As soon as I'd pushed my finger in halfway, I stopped paying attention to that and kneaded his neck, settling on a certain tightness of grip while I thrust into him from behind. Being allowed to just let it go completely instead of drawing it out is nice once in a while, isn't it._

_The strained sound exiting his lips while he rolled his head against mine made me decide not to build up anything anymore at this point, and I pushed in as hard as my body wanted to. I took on a merciless tempo feeling all those excited vibrations and pulsing against and around me. I let my voice out completely, and felt I increased the grip around his neck some more, absentmindedly stroking my free fingers along his length._

_'Aahh~ Illumi…' I got addicted to the feeling a bit too much though, and noticed I still needed to protect my skin. I slowed down a couple seconds when I felt I was close, and Illumi even closer. But he never let himself go until I would, so I breathed out hard when pulling back before finishing it and nearly strangled him while the pulsing around me helped me over the edge and milked me out completely inside of him. If I'd still had grip on his ear I might have torn a part of, but now all that happened was a loud, satisfactory sound each time I squirted out inside of him. It took me a good couple of seconds before I could refocus enough to pull Illumi over the edge as well, and started moving my finger in and out, the rest of my hand pumping him as far as I could. He pulsed so strongly around me that I thought he'd cum immediately, but he held out so long this time._ I'm so proud of you.

 _Once I squeezed tighter around his neck to the point he couldn't breathe anymore at all, I closed my eyes to the choked noises while I pulled my finger out and pumped him out completely. In mere seconds I felt the twitching around me, and tension in his lower body increase to the point where all he could do was let go. I squeezed out the sounds his throat wanted to make while he covered my hand with cum._ You always cum so violently when we do this, I love it.

_Although every time I'm allowed to do this I want to enjoy it as long as I can and stay close, for today I needed to retreat as quickly as possible. I pulled my hand away from him as soon as his cum had left his body, and I alleviated the grip around his neck, pulling out and shuffling back. I decided to keep the nen protection up a little while longer. I watched Illumi fall over on his hands, rubbing along his neck and rubbing himself off._

_'Thank you for the request, that was quite enjoyable.' I licked my fingers off, watching him working on gaining control. 'Did it help a little in relaxing you?' Semi rhetorical question, there was quite a lot of proof on my hand._

_'Yes, thank you.' I chuckled hearing the strained answer._

_'Well then…'_

_'Give me a second.' He stood up slowly with his back turned towards me, his voice returning to normal after taking a couple of breaths. I took closer notice to his actions when his hand raised to his eyes, but when he turned back around, there was nothing to see anymore._

_'You're clear now?' I asked casually, rising to my feet and pulling my pants back up._

_'Yes, it wasn't hard this time.'_

_'So I guess we can say duration is a factor.' I lay my hand on my hip._

_'Yes.' He fixed his own clothes as well, moving his hair to the back again._

_'After that service, would you care to join me for training?' I made a curtly bow, asking for the eldest son's permission for a change._

_'What's your first goal?' He suppressed a minor surge again,_

_'Keeping you in that state after you've let yourself go like you did when I was teaching you for other activities.' I straightened my back again, watching Illumi approach me,_

_'We'll need victims then.'_

_'Do you have some in the torture chambers?'_

_'I think there are two usable. I'll bring them out. I'll take you to the hall where I was first allowed to do this, it should still be usable.' My smile dropped. By all accounts I should be interested in going there, so any excuse for not doing so would look suspicious. I don't really feel like getting to know these "consequences" Silva spoke of. 'Then again, there's more suited buildings closer by, follow me.' He picked up the collar and its device before leaving the door._

_That had been a close call._

* * *

'Three people? Is that going to be enough to sate your appetite?'

'It will have to do.' I threw the three barely conscious people on the floor of one of our training halls. For the sake of the nature of this training, it'd been disarmed before we arrived. It wasn't as big as where my first falling out happened, but with just three people that wouldn't matter. Twenty people take about forty minutes, so three should take no more than six. 'It's actually better there's only three, it's about controlling it _after_ I'm done, after all.' I locked the doors closed behind me, Hisoka following my movements. I still have little faith he'll know what to do when things go wrong, but at least now he's more motivated not to let me die. Letting him do the asphyxiation earlier incidentally was a good test for that.

I actually do enjoy it though. There's been a lot of incidental discoveries of preferences over the months, what we just did were just two of those. He's always so happy when he gets to do that, I basically use it when I need him more obedient. Even then not that often, because it depends on a level of reading his intent I don't often succeed in. Seemed like we both felt like it just now though.

I reached up to my neck. I can go without air for a long time, but he'd started squeezing off the blood circulation a bit too much. Perhaps I'd submitted him too much in the end with the collar. The outcome had been good though.

'Do you need them awake?' Hisoka knelt down besides the one that showed the most consciousness, and lifted his head by his hair.

'Not necessarily, I will be controlling them either way.' He shrugged realizing this was true, and let the man's head fall back down against the floor. Except for the electrical lights, nothing was placed in this room. There were air vents high up on the walls close to the ceiling, and surveillance was placed. I'd asked if someone was going to monitor us while this happened, but the task had been passed down to grandfather considering apparently he'd taken care of the last falling out as well. I'd been sent off with a message,

 _"Just stay in there until you're done, I'll tell everyone to steer clear."_ That's all I needed to hear.

'I take it there's no safe place for me?' Hisoka walked to a far wall and casually leaned back against it crossing his arms, already knowing the answer.

'No.'

'Will you attack me then after those three?'

'Yes.'

'I'm supposed to confine you with my bungee gum after you're done eating, then?' He lifted a finger, activating his nen. I simply nodded, and he lowered the finger again. 'Do you need any more preparation, or should we just get started?'

'Just hand me the cube and we'll begin.' He threw it across the space and I caught it standing in the middle of these three waking people. The one most conscious started to get a notion that he was better off being tortured than being here.

I activated the cube, putting it to the side. I twisted my neck, cracking it a little.

This was different than before.

This is a different kind of letting go, because I know that after my appetite is gone, I can turn back without a problem, it's automatism. So with at least three of these meals, it should be easier to control it.

'I suggest you put on some more protection.' I knelt down in front of the victims, switching my motivation to getting control back by letting go for a brief moment. I closed my eyes and took a couple deep breaths. By now this other nen inside of me was more than willing to take over when given the control, and the switch had never flicked so easily. My first instinct had been to try and switch it back just as easily, so I did.

I opened my eyes again and blinked a couple of times when that had gone without a hitch.

'What happened?' I heard Hisoka's voice echoing from the far end.

'I changed and switched back.'

'Just like that?' I nodded, straightening my legs again. 'So it's dependent on your mindset?' I nodded again. 'Repeat it.' That was exactly my intention.

I hung my head and closed my eyes again, switching to that same mindset and letting the power do what it wanted for a couple of seconds longer before flipping it back. It was harder this time. Duration really is a factor when it comes to not satisfying the hunger.

I decided to test this time limit a little more, and held it turned on for half a minute before going back. That seemed to be close to the limit.

When extending to a full and authorized minute, I was not able to keep my sanity any longer though. My conscious mind was forcefully pulled to the back far enough in that amount of time that I was not able to make the decision anymore.

**###**

I kept my distance as safely as possible, but seeing him letting go from this close by was not making me more comfortable. I'd already determined an escape in case that would be needed. This aura seeping into every corner and crevice of the space was very impressive, but also something I'd rather have more distance from. Instinctually.

I think I agree that this is a chameleon type nen. There's not an increase in volume, but there's more condensed power in the same amount. Never during any of our encounters had his eyes changed color or had claws sprung from his hands.

I also hadn't seen this last time he went this far.

These are all new developments, this nen is evolving. It's going to be important to keep him being able to change back. Or at the very least pull his mind back, because I don't think that part is working right now.

I huffed pleased thinking that. I do like the animal side.

I cocked my head, avoiding a piece of flesh that was slung my way. I stepped aside to keep it from flopping down on my shoulder.

His actions are nothing new, there's no difference in what he's doing here and what he's done outside. He caught my interest a bit more when the second victim was grabbed by the neck and smashed into the wall so he'd stick there on his own. He didn't live long after that had been done, but Illumi still took the freedom of maiming him. These guys hadn't even been able to get close to him without disintegrating. I think they preferred death above all else now that they'd seen what was being done to them.

I turned my eyes to the half-eaten body that was still breathing a bit behind Illumi.

'Hm..?' My attention turned to just in front of me when I noticed the third one trying to do a combination of running and crawling my way. Well, I guess I'm still the better option than Illumi at this point, aren't I? I smiled down at him as he clumsily made his way. The hysterical screams from both him and victim number one desperately trying to breathe were nothing really interesting to me though, not compared to the aura and actions of Illumi near the back. So I simply attached my nen to the guy trying to reach me and slung him back to where he was supposed to be. Ahw, I think I may have dislocated his shoulder, that'll make it a bit too easy for Illumi, won't it. Although there's little resistance either way.

Looking back at that long-haired beauty of a monster, I was just in time to see him doing his conjuring trick after all. He raised his hand, all fingers stretched, nen seeping out of the tips and taking the form of his pins before leaving his body completely. He grabbed all of them, and stuck two in the dead eyes, the other three up through his lips, sewing them together. This wasn't manipulation. Silva and Zeno may have told him this wasn't a specialist ability, but I'm very much doubting their words with this combination of skills. Illumi wouldn't be able to do this without it being that. _Making something from nothing is not your innate ability…_

I watched intently when Illumi handled the one trying to escape by extending his free hand and repeating his former trick, pinning him through his neck against the wall. The impact would've merely smashed his face, but the force of speed had snapped his head back, and his head basically hung by a thread after the impact on his chin had pushed it back even further. The look of horror in his face when last what he saw was Illumi taking a literal bite out of the corpse in the wall was magnificent.

Alright, I think I like being here by now.

The room was suffocatingly filled with his nen, and I had to put up quite the protection to keep myself safe from becoming a victim as well. I waited patiently for another couple of minutes when I saw him both eating and absorbing the life out of those poor people. He'd kept the half-eaten one for last. He got the pleasure of his throat being ripped out, his spine bitten completely through. _Those are sharper fangs than I'm used to seeing with you._

While this was happening, I noticed one other anomaly taking place. I panned my eyes back to the wall where one had been smashed into, and it was slowly reassembling. Apparently everything that couldn't be absorbed was restored to its original state? Was that it? It took no more than a couple of seconds before the wall looked like nothing had happened. Interesting. That means this huge aura filling the room is what he doesn't absorb? It's the nen that evaporates but spills, apparently. That's such a shame. Well, at least now I know what we're going to work on next.

My attention snapped back when the black haze shot my way and I had to evade quickly. He halted before he hit the wall, and hurled himself my way with even more speed. _If I want to pin you, I have to be able to hit you first, don't I._

I had to keep evading him until I saw through his movements, which took a couple of close calls. I felt very satisfied with myself when I finally got a hold of him, and I pinned him down to the ground with my nen, not taking a chance and using quite a lot of force for it. I took a small breath, walking over to him and placing my legs on either side of his torso, looking down at him now that I finally had the chance to take a closer look.

'I don't believe this will register, but I think I have a better idea on what to do now.' I turned my head to the door where the pinholes disappeared as well. For a beast, by the way, he was making remarkably little sound. He didn't growl, he didn't thrash around after I pinned him, he didn't scream, nothing. He merely looked back up at me, seemingly calculating an escape. This did not make me like this side any less, and it also convinced me that it would be possible to reach for his mind again.

He narrowed his eyes at me when I wanted to reach down, and I noticed those white eyes were bloodshot. Not only his eyes, over the entirety of his skin veins were bulging ever so slightly. Higher blood pressure? This has to do with not being able to contain the level of density of this nen hasn't it, we're going to fix that before it kills you.

When I squatted down over him anyway, I smiled down at him, but refrained from touching him. I don't feel like a repeat of-!

I jumped away as quickly as I could when he realized that my nen could also mean a way to freedom, and the nen in the bungee gum wrapped around him was absorbed. I made my way to my escape route through one of the vents close to the ceiling, but stopped as soon as I sensed another presence appear, and Illumi was violently smacked against the wall by Zeno's nen and once again pinned. I looked down and saw the man himself walking in on the scene. _You kept a closer eye than you said you would, didn't you._

'My my, seems like you're making quite the mess this time.' He directed towards his grandson while I made my way down again, stopping next to him, looking up at the menace trying to absorb this nen as well. 'Don't be so insolent.' He raised his other hand and closed in on Illumi until he was within reach, and focused quite a lot of nen in it before using it to knock him out and end this experiment.

 _Well, that was also a way to put a stop to it._ I'd been right though, a continuous stream of nen doesn't hurt him at all and won't have any effect when he's gone over the border completely.

'I don't remember fleeing being part of your job, Hisoka.'


	9. Chapter 9

'You counted on it though.' I grinned down at him as the old man passed me. The fact that Illumi first transforms matter into nen and then absorbs it, had made me blind to the fact that he'd be able to absorb nen in its natural state as well. If I want to subdue him, I'll need to use mere physical force.

'Taking precautionary measures is our second nature. You handle it again from here.' He slowly made his way to the door. You guys don't see this as an important issue, do you. It's just another training for your son or grandson to go through now that it's becoming uncontainable for some reason. The only one actually bothered by it is the eldest son in question.

So that leaves one thing unanswered…

'Can I ask you one question though.'

'You can.'

'What is the other factor that's making him revert back to his original state?'

'No need for you to know.' He disappeared without a wasted word, and I sighed. Of course he wasn't just going to tell me, I'm merely a temporary trainer, aren't I. As soon as this is done and Illumi can control it, they don't care about it being known to the outside world, and I'll probably be able to walk away without a problem.

I shrugged it off. Not exactly the way I thought it would turn out, but I don't object.

So to sum it up, forced contact with nen when in switching-mode will put him in an unsustainable half-state; he can absorb nen itself as well; duration and mindset are keys to controlling it; his body can't handle the density of this nen, that's why it spills and materializes again after a while.

I lowered my hand again after mentally going by those points. I looked back up at the wall. Another point may be that even though unabsorbed living matter takes weeks to reform, lifeless matter only takes seconds.

I think I'm starting to understand this power. _But it wouldn't be a forbidden power for you if it didn't come with a lot of conditions, would it._ I turned my eyes back down to him. _So being intrusive is just another way to alleviate the stress on your body, isn't it._

I saw his fingers twitch, and slowly his body started coming out of its unconscious state. I don't think he was necessarily unconscious by the way, it was merely a wake-up call and he did his best to either suppress or control it in the meantime. I took a step back from him in case both of those failed, and watched him sit up from a small distance. He hunched over, his arms still hanging a bit lifelessly. But before his hair covered my view on his face, I'd seen he was starting to go back to normal. That made things easier,

'Were you able to control it a little just now?' I formally asked, but I don't think he actually managed. I walked around him, stopping at his feet,

'No.' I raised my hand to my chin, 'My consciousness is pulled back the longer I'm in this mode, I need to extend this time.'

'Maybe at a certain time you won't have to force it anymore.' That's going to take longer than I have though.

'Maybe.' I crouched down, still only able to see the curtain of hair around his head,

'You sound like you have another theory.'

'It's more plausible that there's a trick to sustaining consciousness, to remove the force pulling it back.' That will come in handy; when he's able to keep consciousness, we can actually work on this power.

'Do you have a notion to this trick?'

'Not yet.' I saw his back rise and fall with a couple of deep breaths. Training never stops for him. Even incapacitated and still gaining control he's able to think clearly and answer. 'I need to try a couple more times to identify this force, after that we can start on a theory.' His left arm twitched a little before moving up and he raked the hand into his hair, lifting his head. _You don't have control over your body back yet..?_

'Is it preventing you from moving right now?'

'It doesn't like being repressed halfway a meal, it seems.' _No, that's not it… It's the fact that it's an overload on your body._ If you get to finish it naturally you get more chance to spill the energy and the pressure on your body ceases to exist.

'Next time we're not using a meal.'

'Agreed.' He either has to eat more than twenty, or it's nothing at all.

'As soon as you can stand again, we're continuing.'

'Alright.' He let go of his head again, and started moving his other arm as well. His legs came last, and took the most time. 'Just knock me out when it fails.' I nodded before stretching my legs again. This was the first actual training day and we were still only in the first week. If it's like Illumi says and he just needs to control the pulling force, we'll easily make it before Chrollo's deadline…

I think that's the first good news I've had since coming here,

'Let's get started.'

* * *

I may had overestimated how easy it was going to be.

 _By all means it should be harder for_ you.

I pushed myself off him, and turned Illumi around to his back, pulling on his shirt to sit him back up as well. It hadn't mattered to him how long the time limit was, he just pushed it over the edge time and time again, taking all the time he needed to recognize the pulling force. The only reason training's lasted this long, is because it took time for him to be calmed down in between – which had been my tiring job. I'd like to say that this was probably the last try for the day – seven hours later – but Illumi has had different ideas on that up until now.

'I think I'm going to have to disagree to trying again.' I think it would've been better to stop some time ago, but admitting that was a bit hard.

'If you're saying something like that, then we're stopping.' So you were waiting for me to come to this point,

'How is it going with your own nen?' I had to wonder, considering I was apparently the first to "give up".

'I've lost next to nothing. Because most of the time you were able to stop me before I started spilling.' I folded my legs underneath me and reached out to the side of his head. I wish I had some more energy left, but I think I've more than exceeded my limit for today.

Stroking my fingers through his hair to the back of his head, I helped him raise his head again. Impeded movement had lasted longer and longer while the training stretched. But this time I refrained from helping him start up again quicker. Because for that I would have to use my own nen to kick-start his, and that wasn't happening anymore.

'How long do you think it's gonna take you this time?'

'I feel no movement yet, so a couple of minutes at the least.' I turned his head my way, lips curling up in delight, but he was unfazed by any of that. 'Your threat is moot, you have no energy left and you like my reactions the most.' Well, I guess my motives hadn't been hard to guess. Can't say that the thought of Illumi being unable to resist was unappealing to me, but he was right.

'Should I carry you then, or perhaps bring some pillows and a blanket.'

'If I were you I'd spare the energy for tomorrow and just walk out of here like you want to.' He sounded a bit more agitated now.

'But that would leave you completely defenseless.'

'Don't insult me, I won't die so easily.' I huffed at that response before I let go of him, and lay him back to the floor. "I won't die so easily" you say. Well, you have Zeno looking after you, so you should be fine either way.

'I'll see you tomorrow then. Perhaps we'll have better luck then.' I pushed myself back up from the ground with a little trouble. I think Illumi's right on the resting part, I had to begrudgingly agree. I will need all the rest I can get.

It's been a _very_ good day though.

**###**

I turned my eyes back to the ceiling once Hisoka had left the building and closed the doors behind him. This is an annoying side effect. He explained to me why it was probably happening, but it doesn't matter; I need to find out what that pulling force is, and up until now I've only acquired a vague notion of what it might be.

I tried once again to move my hand after a couple of minutes, and got a little motion in it. _Good, it's just a matter of another couple of minutes then._

I have been thinking about why I lose consciousness when the nens are switched. I am actually unaware if there is a way to keep who I am now with that other nen, because meeting the requirement every time to switch back is unacceptable. However, the pulling force has such an obvious presence, I _should_ be able to grab hold of it one way or the other.

Considering that it's so different, there is the possibility that this other nen has been artificially agitated into existence – because switching nens should not be able to be controlled like this.

If this is true, then when my family noticed it was a bad idea, they forced it back into non-existence. If this is the case, then the restraint they put on it is failing, and they can't reactivate it so they just choose to teach me to control it.

Well, I have enough control over nen that I should be able to. I need to focus solely on the anomaly that is the pulling force then.

I lifted my lower arm, and it didn't take long before I could lift my shoulder as well. I grabbed my other arm with it, bringing life into that as well.

Although calculated, all of this is still guesswork as to the situation. Finding out what that pulling force is a logical continuation, but I have no way to confirm where this artificial thing came in and how it affected me. It's just that considering I wasn't allowed off the property before I was eight suggests it came from my family. That's all I have to go on.

I turned my eyes to the doors again when I heard the creaking sound of them opening.

'You're taking your time.' I watched grandfather walk in and closing the doors behind him again.

'I was analyzing the situation.' I turned my eyes back up, and used my hands to push me back to a sitting position. Good, my neck muscles are awake again as well.

'Any luck in figuring out what you wanted to find out?' He stopped when he stood next to me.

'Just assumptions.' I rolled my shoulders and cracked my knuckles. Yes, I much prefer being able to use my body.

'Humor me.' When he says it, at least he sounds interested _._ Hisoka just annoys me when he says it. I looked back up at him,

'You artificially agitated this power inside of me, regretted it and put a restraint on it. That restraint is now failing and you don't know how to fix it so you're just teaching me how to control it.' I know I have a poker face, but grandfather has the same when it comes to these matters. He grunted a bit displeased though,

'Hm…'

'Am I right, or can't I trust the answer either way?' I started working on getting my legs moving again in the meantime.

Wait.

If they agitated this power inside of me, the only known method is through those two items. Does that mean we were the ones who handed it over to that collector Kurapika took them from? Why would we do that? Unless we either wanted someone to become interested in them or make it so that someone else could acquire them.

But there's more speaking against others obtaining them, isn't there? After seeing what it did to me we wouldn't part with them.

Grandfather stayed quiet from the moment my eyes had shot back up to his and I started analyzing these possibilities. He knew I was calculating one thing or the other and let me do this in silence.

'Why did we give those items to the collector?' His eyes narrowed down at me slightly,

'You're already assuming that what you said earlier is correct?'

'Ah.' He had a point there.

'Continuing on your assumption that we used those items on you, what would be the most prominent reason for us to part with them?'

'You had no use for them anymore.' I set my feet back flat on the ground once my legs felt like they could carry me again, and pushed myself off the floor. '…the objects coming into the hands of Chrollo and Hisoka was a coincidence?'

'If we used them on you and had to put on restraints to conserve your and our lives, do you think we'd be worried about where they would end up?'

'It's in the hands of Chrollo now.' I looked back down at him. 'There's definitely consequences about giving them away, we would've locked them away.' I started tying my hair back again.

'So what do you conclude from that?'

'Going from less to most calculated assumptions, the items were stolen from us; you never used those items on me; you never had to agitate this power.'

'So?' I looked into nothingness while thinking this over. Normally I'd say that theft was impossible, but with the illusive intruder it might be possible. Even then though, they put little to no effort into retrieving them, so that's not true.

And if they saw its effects on me they definitely would've put them away, so,

'I didn't develop this power naturally, so there's only two possibilities left.' He nodded for me to continue, I raised my hand in counting them off, 'You used a different method to agitate me and we never had those items, or I somehow agitated it myself when I was still rejecting training.'

'It's still assumptions, but I think they're better grounded now, aren't they.'

'Yes.' I lowered my hand again.

'You're doubting us more than I thought. Are you scared?'

'This is just another training, why would I be scared.' I breathed out those word slightly insulted. But this training is not close to what we normally do, and I want that pulling force under control. 'Why are you here?'

'Hmph.' He huffed out a bit insulted as well. 'I'm here because Milluki wanted to find you and he didn't want to wait until you were done, interrupting me from work. I've sent him on another training in the meantime. He should be done by now.' He looked away a little. It really was urgent if he thought he could tell grandfather what to do while working. 'It's about the intruder, go visit him, I'll be right there.' I cocked my head hearing that.

'Isn't this more important to you than me?'

'Do you think I'd send you if it didn't concern you?' He gave me a more dangerous glare before I nodded and decided to just make my way towards Milluki before I'd be put on extra training as well. I am aware of his punishment trainings from when I was younger, I won't be able to move for at least an hour if I'm put on that.

* * *

'You had a message to give me?' I walked into the surveillance room where Mil was supposed to be, but at first glance he wasn't there. I take it grandfather told him to come back here after he was done, was he still crawling this way, or…

Ah, no. There he was.

I looked down to the side when I saw movement on the floor on the way to the footage.

'If you'd train more often this wouldn't happen.'

'Screw you.' I heard the faint whimper before he lay the hand down that had desperately reached forward to find a way to pull him back to his feet. For a couple moments I just stood there, waiting until he'd start moving again. When that didn't happen I made my way towards him and I already heard his protest before reaching him. 'No! Just leave me, I'll-!' Just before picking him up from the floor by the back of his neck, I saw the wound on it. He really should train more often. The punishment is hard, but shouldn't cause wounds like this.

'Ah, alright.' He relaxed for a second before I instead reached around and lifted him by his waist. He started screaming and wanted to push me away, but his efforts weren't even a nuisance, there was no power left in his body.

'I hate you.' I set him down in his usual chair, laying his arms on the desk near the keyboard.

'I know.' Mil is about the opposite of me, very moody. Sometimes he likes me, sometimes he hates me, I don't bother listening to that anymore. In the end we work well together, that's all that matters. 'What did you need to show me before commanding grandfather.' He hung his head and whimpered, 'The sooner you tell me, the sooner you can pass out.'

'I fucking know, give me a minute.' I placed myself standing behind him, waiting for action that took a while to come. When I took a breath to just let him tell me what I needed to do, he started typing and pushing in buttons, pointing at one screen out of his reach that I needed to turn on. 'I already showed mom and dad, but they shoved it off to you. Granddad also told me you'd probably be interested.' I blinked at hearing those words. They shoved it off to me? Then it meant I was supposed to take care of it on my own. That was strange to hear for something Milluki took so long to investigate.

'What did you find.'

'Give me a fucking second will you.' I watched some imagery slowly appear on the screen I'd turned on, but had to wait when his fingers cramped up. I looked down at him when I heard a lot of curses leave his mouth. Well, considering technology is most important to him, it's understandable that his hands not working could be frustrating.

'Do I need to fix that for you?' I already took out a needle, holding it in between my fingertips, but he declined.

'Oh hell no, I'm not letting you near me with those, just give me a sec.' I put it away again and patiently waited until he could continue.

'I have become better with them since last time I used them on you.' That would be about ten years ago.

'Yeah and I don't care if you've gotten better.' Apparently the experience had been too traumatizing for him. Granted, being bent that way hadn't been good for his body. He survived though, and he should be aware of my current skills. 'I'll have it ready in a second.' I shrugged it off. I didn't have anything to do the rest of the day anyway. I crossed my arms and kept my eyes on the blurry imagery slightly to my left. Seems that that wasn't at the location where I thought I'd seen him. He's been wandering then? 'I went through fucking punishment training for this, I hope it's goddamn important to you.' When he pressed the final button the small video started playing,

'Ah!' I raised my eyebrows when I recognized him.

'The location you gave was empty. If he'd been there, then he was gone by the time the doors closed. Considering the speed that wouldn't be out of the question. I've been searching my ass off for these couple of frames.' I looked at the looping images. The only reason he'd been caught on film here is apparently because something was wrong, and he decided to turn back around.

I gestured for Mil to pause it at a certain frame, and he grunted, moving through the footage frame by frame until I asked him to stop.

_If you can keep hidden like this, then why did you ask me to kill your friend's captors, they wouldn't have been able to catch you._

_Has Killua been teaching you this as well? He needs to stop sharing his techniques._

But it seems Kurapika's decided put in the counter-attack - trying to get the item back from Hisoka before the second item would be stolen from him. He really is desperate to stop all of this if he's invading.

Or is Hisoka inviting him in?

No. There's no alliance between them anymore, Kurapika is here on hostile terms.

'Have there been other tries?'

'One other that I know of.' Milluki started working on getting the image out for me. 'It was when dad returned.'

'So it's possible he can't pass the walls. How far did he come that time.'

'It was in another direction, but not a lot further.' He clearly doesn't know where Hisoka is.

'He's provoking Hisoka to come to him, he's not taking the risk of going in too far.' That means the distance he's come inside is probably not his limit. This is troublesome. 'We'll use Hisoka as bait, and take care of it right away.' I already turned around when I'd seen enough, but Mil stopped me,

'No need, he's inside again right now, and standing still.' I turned my head back sharply to the screen to see that this was true. His eyes were on a fixed point. _So you_ can _get past the wall on your own._

Hisoka is not smart approaching him now after our training, so I can assume he's not going to fight him, and most probably stalling for one of us to come his way - for a bit of playing around, knowing Hisoka. Meanwhile he's going to use the stress in the Kurta to find out where the other item is – because there's no reason left for him to stay allied with him anymore.

But either way,

'I'll capture him now then.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of things happened in my life in the meantime, so I'm sorry for disappearing for so long. A new year, a new start kinda thing now, for finally being able to write again \o/   
> Hope you enjoy ^^


	10. Chapter 10

'Well, isn't this interesting.' Although timing as a bit bad, I couldn't resist this temptation of his once I'd felt it. _Your behavior is quite strange for someone who was glad to have separated from me._ By all means, you should be working on staying away from me and Chrollo, hiding to the best of your abilities; most certainly not invade Zoldyck property. _What are you planning in that head of yours._

He cocked an eyebrow once I'd taken a casual stance a couple meters away from him. He hadn't stopped until he saw me, but he didn't run. _If_ you _are the elusive intruder, then why would you expose yourself like this._

'Why oh why would you come here?' I asked sarcastically, but was ignored,

'You're heavily weakened.' I grunted, my smile dropping. _Thank you, I_ have _noticed myself I can't have any more physical fun today._

'Training with Illumi will do that, yes.' The soft laugh in the back of his throat didn't escape me. _Although you're enjoying this sight, there's still little you can do._

'And you thought it would be a good idea to appear like that?' He didn't care about masking the laugh when he asked the question. He's changed quite a lot since the first time we worked together,

'Well, not much you can do while you're here, can you.'

'I came in and out undetected several times, what makes you think that finishing you now would be out of the question.' His eyes turned sharper when he exclaimed this, and my interest rose. _Ooh~ you're planning something very interesting, aren't you. You look far more appetizing all of a sudden._

'I think the answer to that lies with why the reverse is also true.' He squinted his eyes at me when he noticed I didn't let myself be talked down at all even in this state. I raised my hand and head, 'Although possibility with you is higher that you've actually told someone where you've hidden your part of the treasure. You don't actually believe _I_ would tell someone, do you.' He sighed deeply, 'And even if I'd done, which of my "allies" do you believe to have a chance with concerning torturing for information?' I gestured around me. Kurapika has always been someone of calculating the situation and he was heavily recalculating as we were speaking. What was the unexpected factor today? Encountering me? That I'm this weakened? That they've now detected you and it will put a stop to what you were planning?

'You have a point.' _Well yes, I know I do,_ 'Plus there are probably Zoldycks on the way already, so let's make this quick.'

'Oh~? You're going to fight me anyway?'

'No.' He became more tense by the second. I could imagine why.

'Then pray tell, what was so important that you took the risk to come to me personally?'

'I take it Illumi hasn't told you that over time your wounds won't heal anymore?'

'I've noticed the decline myself. So that wasn't your abilities failing?' I taunted back at him with a bit of success, but I didn't like the confirmation.

'That counts for wounds not made by Illumi as well.' He rolled up his sleeve to show a shallow cut on the back of his forearm that was healing badly. 'It doesn't matter that I'm secondary, his nen is inside of me and it doesn't like my body.' _Everything not devoured evaporates,_ _apparently that counts for our skin in the end as well._ We can't turn this nen off like Illumi can, this could be a problem, but not right now.

'Thank you for the notice.' He scoffed at me when I gave him that answer. Really, there was no reason for him to come and tell me this now that I don't have a hold over him anymore, and if it'd had such a rush, he would've just called me. He hadn't counted on me being here, he was here for other reasons and he was just making the best of the situation at hand. Apparently that meant trying to scare me, and drawing attention from this family. 'I don't think the Zoldycks will be happy seeing you here though, you better leave before you end up with even more un-healable wounds.'

'Thank you for the notice.' He mockingly repeated my words, trying to decide if he should leave or if he should say some more. But the decision was made for him a second later when he barely evaded a needle, and he was gone before I could notice. Out of everything of this encounter, that had been the strangest – this wasn't his other little trick. I cocked my head thinking about that a bit more while Illumi passed me in pursuit of the blonde with great speed.

Was it transportation? Conjuration? Because although he's quick, his strategic mind is quicker than his feet. There's no way he would've been able to improve this quickly. Who's his teacher?

I raised a hand to my lips thinking all this through while I waited for Illumi to return. _I think I'm onto your intentions by now, but what your goal is eludes me a bit._

I stopped thinking this through and turned my eyes up to stoic black ones when he stopped right in front of me, and I smiled. _Didn't think you would catch him, no._

'That was a short chase.'

'He's more familiar with the terrain than I thought, he's been here more than twice. And I hadn't expected him to be this good at concealing his presence.' His look became more absent. _All that calculating going on today._

'Troublesome invader indeed.'

**###**

_I need to take care of him before he does something harmful here. He's capable of doing so if he's able to utilize techniques like this._ I will put in a chase outside of our property to apprehend him. He's mistaken if he thinks I will stop at the gate. I will take preparations for this shortly. I will make sure that he won't be able to enter in the meantime. I'll employ the butlers for this.

'Aren't you curious to what he talked with me about?' I blinked coming back to this world completely,

'Ah, yes, what did he tell you.' For a second I'd forgotten about Hisoka's presence. It would be strange if Kurapika has only told something to Hisoka instead of doing something – why would he enter our property for that.

'I've gotten confirmation,' He pulled his shirt down a bit, showing the bad healing wound on his collarbone. With the Kurta's skills that shouldn't take this long, Hisoka already has too much of that nen inside of him. '…that it will stop healing over time.' How does the Kurta know that? Just by being Hisoka's healer for a couple of months? That could be the case.

Either way,

'He's making that up.' I will deny this in front of Hisoka.

'What makes you say that.'

'He has increased his healing abilities, and he's developed a kind of concealment that's hard to track for some reason, don't you think it would be easy for him to fake something like this? He probably just healed you worse each time to make this story more believable. We'll let one of ours take a look at you.' They will have to lie. His body _will_ stop healing my nen over time.

'Doesn't change that you're still inside of me and my blood evaporates when it leaves my body, even when you're not close. I think I will need an exorcist for that, not a healer.'

'You can get one after all this is done.'

'What makes you so sure he's lying though.'

'… …'

'Because this is quite the leap for you to make, can't even call it a calculated guess anymore. How do you know it doesn't happen if this nen has never been researched?' Ah… Although based on a lie from my side, he raises a good question. How does father now that it won't heal after time? Hisoka's been undergoing my nen for weeks and he's only recently started showing signs that it won't heal anymore. Did I forget the testing? Is the testing the reason I couldn't hold it back anymore when I was seven?

Then father has been careless in giving information, or he doesn't care I find out…

'Either way,' I got called back out of that line of thought when he spoke up again. I inclined my head when he continued, '…while you mull this over, let's take care of the little blonde first and then I will gladly follow you to a healer.' He's taking that offer while he can. 'You should start with investigating his route from the gate to his stopping points for anomalies.'

'You're telling me how to defend our own property?' I reacted insulted, but there was no visible response so I went on, 'If he's left something, he will count on it we do that, of course he zigzagged.' I changed priorities in my mind back to the one at hand. But it's too much ground to cover when searching for something elusive.

'Can't you use your dogs then?'

'We will, but he's aware of our property and family, it won't be easy to- what are you doing?' He raised his hand in apology when he got the phone out of his pocket and started dialing. Well that was peculiar,

'Asking you for a mission he didn't need you for, perhaps hiding something on this property, saying something to try and throw me off, giving you extra work that will cut in the time of our activities, sounds more like something else, don't you think?' It only took a second to connect those dots.

'… Ah!' He's distracting us. He's making himself interesting so we're either stalled, or things get out of hand too quickly. Either way, repercussions take a lot of time away. Because even if it's just for distraction, I will have to let the property be checked in case he _has_ planted or taken something. Considering the concealment technique he uses, he might have gotten further in than first anticipated.

I let out a small sigh realizing that meant the distraction had worked well.

If he's taking the time to distract us though, who is he drawing attention away from, or for who or what is he stalling?

'Who are you calling?' Hisoka only raised a finger to his lips while he waited for an answer. He must've come to the same conclusion, is he calling the one he suspects the Kurta is working with?

I inclined my head in curiosity, and perked my ears to be able to hear the other side of the conversation as well. Hisoka almost purring under this attention.

'Just wait.' The phone was answered almost immediately,

_'Hisoka.'_

'Hello to you too.' I blinked at hearing that voice. _Hisoka thinks Kurapika is working together with Chrollo?_ That's beyond a wild guess, it's impossible.

 _'What is it this time, it's only been a couple of days.'_ He sounded tired though,

'Ooh~, am I calling at a bad time?'

_'What's the news?'_

'Just a small question.' He waited a short second before asking it, 'How is the search on the Kurta going.'

_'It's not taking priority. He'll be found within the given month either way, he can't evade all of us when the time comes.'_

'Could you make it priority again, he's quite distracting to our training.' He laughed a little before he answered,

 _'You're telling me he's able to disturb the Zoldyck residence?'_ Ah, he's called with Chrollo in the meantime,

'Well apparently the reduced pressure from your side gives him the room to do so.'

_'Are you taunting me? Because it doesn't matter to me what he does as long as you'll be able to reach your goal within the given timespan. Even if you don't, I will still proceed. The search on the chain-user will take priority again as soon as it becomes necessary.'_

'Didn't think there was something more important than this experiment for you right now.' He laughed again,

 _'You think just because we work together on this that you know everything going on in the Troupe?'_ It wasn't until then that Hisoka got a little disgruntled. But it was clear by now that he was merely trying to save time, not insinuate cooperation between Chrollo and Kurapika. _'You just make sure you keep hold of your item. If he steals that as well I might consider putting in the extra effort. For now you should just enjoy your activities with Illumi, shouldn't you? That's one of the main reasons you're there, after all.'_ He's switched to taunting as well, this is not going to lead anywhere anymore. My interest faded, and I got my own phone out, starting to text to get one of the butlers ready to fix Hisoka, and explaining the circumstances he was supposed to behave to.

I didn't stop listening though,

'I'm starting to get the idea we're not going to receive that help, are we.'

 _'What makes you think that.'_ Chrollo must be in a particularly bad mood that he's even using sarcasm.

'You'll hear from me when we've reached a solid point in our training then.' He hung up without waiting for an answer. The call _had_ been bad timing, but he still took it. That means Hisoka's progress holds more importance to him than he admits, doesn't it. 'Seems like we're on our own.'

'We've been that from the moment we started this training.' Apart from the long-term effect on his body, both Hisoka and I know equally as much about this nen. Others know either more or different things, but they're either unwilling to share or don't care about sharing this.

'Well that seems to be true, doesn't it.'

'I'll take you to the healer. While you're there I'll plan out the most effective search.' I closed my phone again and put it away, immediately setting course to one of the butlers' residences.

As soon as we've captured the Kurta, we'll torture him to give the location to the second item; he's aware this is going to happen though, so it might take a bit more effort to capture him than normally…

'Inside here. Amuse yourself for the rest of the day.' I pointed the house out for Hisoka before disappearing again towards the mansion.

'Don't mind if I do.' With the fact that I've come to the point that I can't trust the family's information anymore, I need Hisoka completely obedient. The best way for that is making him feel the difference between my courtesies and how he's normally treated.

If there's no way to predict what's going to happen with my power, then next to keeping him in the dark about this aspect of my nen, I'll make sure Hisoka will stay as predictable as possible.

* * *

_You're being so helpful after draining me all day, feels like you're trying to prove Kurapika wrong a bit too hard._

Well, I don't mind if I'm healed one way or the other. Let's see what you have planned for me.

'You're Hisoka? Come here.' After pushing the doors open, I only saw one person standing in the middle of a mainly empty room – only the basics for living were there. _Still better than where I've been put to stay though._ You may have brought me here to train Illumi, but you can't deny that you're not particularly fond of me, can you.

The person standing there, waiting for me, ushered me to come his way. He seemed to be a well-trained butler.

'You're the one that's going to prove there's no long-term effects from Illumi-kun's nen?' I leisurely walked his way, but there was no answer, not even when I stopped right in front of him.

'Expose the wounds I need to heal.' I huffed when I noticed there was little fun to get here; this guy is _too_ well-trained, he's almost a puppet. Sounds about right for someone Illumi has authority over, doesn't it. I obeyed though, taking my shirt off and letting it fall to the floor.

'Anything else you need me to do?'

'Stand still.' I let out some intent to try and get a reaction out of him either way, but it was ignored just like the rest of my actions. Although a bit boring, I think I like it that no-one here is easily intimidated. This healer in particular seemed to not care about my presence, he was just working on order.

'Hmph.' I guess that with someone as obedient as him, as long as he's not told to engage in talk with me, he just does as he pleases – which in this case is showing disinterest.

'Just your upper body?' He lifted his hand and activated his nen, focusing everything in two of his fingers. His eyes shot along the various places on my torso where Illumi had taken the freedom, weaving a web or picture in his mind.

'Just my upper body.' _If anything, I think I'm grateful it didn't go lower than my waist._

'Then hold still.' I kept close watch on his aura when his eyes narrowed, and lay his fingers against my collarbone. They stayed still there for a couple of seconds before he pulled them away, a web of threads hanging in between them. It took him a lot of focus to start up, but very soon I felt that relieving feeling of my body returning to its natural state. It seemed to take him a whole deal more effort than my last healer though. The feeling was different as well. I gave him some more attention while he was taking his time doing this, trying to discern what was different about it.

When the scar tissue had disappeared completely, he released the threads, retreating them before laying them on the next wound and repeating the trick. I reached up to my collarbone, gliding my fingers along it, but it really had disappeared. No matter what he was doing, this was excellent work. I appreciatively rolled my shoulder a bit. Being able to function at 100% is not a luxury while I'm here, and I relished that feeling slowly returning.

'You're a good healer.' He didn't respond this time either. Well, can't blame him at this point.

I let my hand fall to my hip again as my entire upper body was worked over. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling as long as it lasted, not really caring that this person was getting exhausted very quickly. These guys are used to that feeling either way. It actually felt more relieving than I thought it would, having those wounds taken care of completely.

I opened one eye again when the sensation stopped long enough that I wondered what was going on. This guy was heaving and panting, and his physical strength seemed to be almost gone by now, how peculiar. Still I couldn't help myself,

'You're not done yet, are you really stopping there?' I didn't even get a scornful look, he simply picked himself up again and continued on the lesser wounds. _These are scar tissue wounds, why is it causing this kind of fatigue with you._ 'I do appreciate the effort though.' After those words the man collapsed completely. I watched him smack to the floor, either deeply unconscious or dead. I raised an eyebrow looking at that scene.

I took my time in first checking over my body to feel that the wounds indeed were gone completely. _Thank you for this courtesy, Illumi._

'Now, onto finding out what's the matter with you.' I casually stepped back to the body of this courtesy. I wouldn't even care were it not that this was a strange happening for a healer. I crouched down next to him, but I didn't even have to check vital signs, this man was dead. Curious thing to happen.

I lifted his arm by his wrist and let it drop again. The blonde had taken Illumi's nen as well through healing me, but this effect was a bit extreme for the strong butler he was.

I used my nail to cut his hand open and pinched some blood out of it, watching it evaporate mid-air. Also curious, because it shouldn't have this effect this quickly.

Considering all of this though, I decided to cut his shirt open to check _his_ upper body, and confirmed my suspicions.

I felt my grin grow wider when it was confirmed, and touched the scar tissue now on _his_ collarbone. _You were not a healer, you were an exorcist._ You took the alien nen from me, but apparently you were either not allowed to release it from yourself by some means, or you died before you were able to. Or are you going to resurrect in a second? That would be interesting…

But by taking the nen from me, the restriction on my body to heal those wounds had disappearerd, returning to the natural state. Does that mean I'm completely clean again now? I think I like that.

I tested this by inflicting a wound on myself, finally seeing a flow of blood again instead of damp.

Didn't you expect him to die, Illumi-kun? You used him to convince me there was no such thing as non-healable wounds? Well, can't blame you, it's not exactly inviting me to continue putting myself in danger. But either way now that I'm clean again I can take a lot more again. I think you made a good decision.

'Thank you for your services.' I smiled to the corpse before walking back out. Exorcists are rare though, so thank you for sacrificing one for me, even though you probably don't care about those statistics either way.

* * *

'Ah, he died?' _I don't think I'd expected a different reaction than that._ 'Why are you in my room again though, you won't be rested enough for training.'

'Ooh~, I thought you didn't mind.' After a couple hours on my own, I decided I would try my luck again with this new freedom and had waited in the single chair in his room, taking the time for my nen to replenish in the meantime.

'I don't, but you're never just here. What's your reason.'

'Doesn't matter.' He turned around to me, 'You still have more than enough energy anyway, and we're not training 'till the evening tomorrow, so it doesn't matter what happens.'

'Well that is true.' He told me that he'd been able to delegate a lot of the work considering finding Kurapika; the main job is to keep him off the property, and that's already in effect. He hadn't told me anything beyond that.

He looked at me in silence for a short while, I inclined my head in wonder of what was going through him at this point. Are you strategizing? Are you trying to figure out what I'm planning to do?

'You're just here to have a good time now that you're clean again, aren't you.'

'You make it sound like you're a drug.'

'To you I seem to be with the risks you're willing to take.' _I can't fully deny that…_

'Well you can't blame me for that when you give me such rare treasures.'

'You're still talking about that I allow you near?'

'What else would I be talking about?'

'… …' I raised an eyebrow when he gave me a long, silent look. Preparations for Kurapika had been made, I had been healed, and training had gone well today; but there was still so much going on inside that head of his, it was fascinating to see.

'Hm?'

'Nothing.' _How interesting._ He didn't stop looking at me. He still hates it, doesn't he, that he's forced closer to me, and that he actually has no physical adversities against it – that it's just his mind.

You know, we've been making a lot of headway with understanding this power of his, but it doesn't take away this simple fact – and that's that Illumi doesn't want this amount of intimacy. Doesn't matter that he merely has to go through it to gain control again. Because at the start of it all was the point that he allowed danger to see him completely vulnerable and that went against everything he's ever been taught. I can imagine he doesn't really feel like going back to that place where he objected his line of work. Because apparently something so scary happened to him that he had to create that carnage to let it all go.

Something scary that he doesn't remember.

The moment I folded my hands under my chin he finally turned away without another word.

"Why don't I object to his presence at all anymore."

"Even if it's for gaining control, will I be able to get rid of this once it's over."

"I've always been taught to stay detached, how is attachment supposed to work."

"How is attachment supposed to be controlled."

Such unnecessary questions, because it's already happened even before getting ordered to do this training. Maybe you'll never search it out on your own, but you're not going to fight me about it anymore – there's no arguments left for you.

'I'll give you one for free.' My eyes opened wider when I heard those words and his shirt found a new use as carpet.

'Have you been charging me up 'till now then.' I couldn't help but say it, but fact was that I was quite surprised hearing those words. Are you coming to terms with it more than I'm aware of?

…No, you just want this to be over, don't you. Thinking that if it's going to happen, you might as well be done with it.

'That would make me a whore instead of an assassin, I don't remember that being part of my role in this family.' _Well, for a long week it was, wasn't it._ He pulled his hair over one shoulder in invitation, but I didn't move from the chair. 'Although you feel tempted to risk biting me again, I suggest you don't with how control has been waning.'

'I'll restrain myself.' _If wounds turn permanent after a while I think I'll keep my distance from that side of you even with this clean body._ He turned around when there was a complete lack of activity from my side. _You know I just want you to come my way, but I'll come to you either way if you don't._ He seemed to be deliberating this. His sense of control is probably telling him to walk away and just let me come to him.

However.

I leaned back and grinned up to the man with the blank expression.

Just like I thought. If you're asking me for sex to get it over with, you don't mind approaching me, do you.

I closed my legs some more for him to be able to set his knees besides me, and immediately hooked his hands under my shirt, taking it off and letting it join his shirt on the floor. His hair tickled against the bare skin on my chest while his fingers glided along my neck and raked into my hair. I lidded my eyes in this enjoyable sensation while he slowly leaned down over me.

'…!' When I wanted to tempt fate a little and make a remark about it, those hands had glided a bit lower to my throat and now clenched around it, pressing the air out of me. Needless to say that I opened my eyes up to him. _You hid that danger well._

'Let me make something clear.' _Can you do that without cutting off circulation as well?_ 'I know the way you're thinking, that because I don't like this I'm working on getting it over as soon as possible, and that that gives you freedom to do what you want.' _Well, apparently it's not._ 'I don't think you considered that because I dislike this situation that I appreciate being played around even less.' He let go of some of the pressure when he noticed he got carried away a bit too much. 'I'm forced to put an amount of trust in you I've been taught not to, and I'd appreciate it if you don't try to take advantage of that.' He smiled down at me with those last words. I can't say that I expected this after he allowed me to do asphyxiation again, but I don't mind taking a small step back.

I smiled back up at him a bit awkwardly before mouthing the words.

"I will accommodate to the master's wishes." _I get to play with you either way, if this is the way you need it to be, then that's alright._

He alleviated pressure on my throat after that,

'Mah, if that's understood, then let's continue.' He arched his neck, bringing his lips to my neck. _Such a dangerous game with such a high reward, how could I ever resist._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's better than a dangerous Illumi, and a sassing Chrollo, amirite 8D  
> Happy new year everyone


	11. Chapter 11

'You've taken care of it already?'

'Why do you sound surprised?' I leisurely walked to the back of the hall again once Illumi had sought me out for training today. That we would train in the evening was a given, to hear that the problem of the blonde was gone completely by this time was another thing. _I know you're efficient, but this is extreme proof, isn't it._

I turned around in my step, walking the last couple of steps backwards,

'Considering the amount of trouble he caused us, I didn't think even the famous Illumi Zoldyck would be able to take care of it this quickly.' I watched him stretch and warm up a bit, but I think that would be more useful for me, wouldn't it.

'It was very easy.' He bent his back far enough to look at me upside down to give his answer, 'The only thing that needs to be done is find out if there's anything on this property. As long as that search is going on, the perimeters are being watched more carefully. While that was taken care of, I contacted him.' He grabbed hold of his ankles effortlessly for a couple seconds before he bent back upright. Making use of that bendable body is one of my favorite things to do. I pocketed my hands letting that thought pass through me.

'How were you able to reach him?'

'You forget I have a track on Kil, I put one on him again. He's become better at detecting it, but he still has a lot of blind spots because he never finished his training. Milluki updates his technology too much for Killua to be able to handle it anyway.' I shrugged hearing the one method not privy to me.

'What did you tell him?'

'Killua?' He turned back around to me. I let out a small huff hearing the obsession shine through before he continued. 'Ah, you meant Kurapika.' _Well, obviously._ He raised his finger next to his inclined head, repeating the threat he made earlier this day. 'I told him that if he would distract us again, that I'd take care of his friends, whether I'm paid for it or not.'

'That will only make him more alert.'

'I'm aware of this.' He lowered his hand to his hip, 'That's why I also told him that I'd tell Chrollo how to find him, and that we'd put out a reward for his head as well. If anything, he'll be too distracted by fleeing people he doesn't want to take care of, and won't go through the trouble of bothering us again.'

'Sounds like a good plan.' _Imagine that good-natured boy having to fight off wards of people just because he thought it was a good idea to invade into Zoldyck territory._ No, I don't think he'll be bothering us again.

'It is.' He started stretching his legs. I watched him do all of this for a small while,

'Then what have you been doing the rest of the day?'

'Are you completely replenished again?' He looked up at me, ignoring the question. Although interesting, I decided to let it be this time and smiled back at him.

'I can go for another round, yes. But if you do it correctly, there won't be a lot to do for me, will there.'

'It shouldn't take long, but it's unreasonable to think it will go right on the first try.' _That's true._ 'Are you ready?' I raised my hand for him to wait a second, deciding on a better course of action.

He didn't step back when I'd taken a casual stroll his way and stopped right in front of him. I nodded at him, non-verbally asking him to walk back. He gave me an inquisitive look back before complying and walked backwards with me until we reached a wall. He already spread his arms a little so I could restrain his arms, but I declined that gesture, getting a dark look when my hand raised to his throat. Just keeping his arms in check was not going to help; if we wanted this to be an efficient countermeasure, his throat would be better.

But not even realizing this did anything to get the danger out of his eyes. After a couple moments he decided to make the decision for me,

'My arms are good enough.'

'You seem to have less trouble with your neck while we're having sex.'

'We're not having sex now, you will restrain my arms with your bungee gum.' I could see he was ready to forego the idea entirely, and I let out a deep sigh, lowering my hand again and making sure his wrists were plastered to the wall. I still didn't take more than one step back, and put up a bit more protection before Illumi decided my actions were acceptable, and let the danger go. _I guess some things he just can't accept, can he._ 'I focused on the wrong thing yesterday. I'll test if the new idea works.'

'Take your time.' _If we train here for too long, those three bodies will start appearing again, won't they? I think it's good for my health if we either succeed or move elsewhere in the meantime._

I thought I had the time to think about this, but while those words passed through me, Illumi blinked once and switched to that other nen. _Well, at least that is going smoothly._

It didn't become hostile yet in the thirty seconds that it lasted, and he blinked again to turn back. _I like your learning abilities._

'You seem pleased with the progress, but I haven't been able to identify the force pulling me back yet.'

'In this timespan you're in complete control though, thought that would please you more.'

'It doesn't mean anything as long as I can't identify and subdue the force.'

'Well then, please continue.' He took a small breath before doing it again. I know his eyes are turned to infinity, but having those dark eyes stare straight into mine is still an interesting sight.

I tightened the bungee gum when he wanted to continue longer than thirty seconds though. _He's a bit too eager._ I saw him blink back to me, giving me a short look before wanting to turn back immediately.

'I appreciate it as well if you don't agitate it too much.'

'Don't interrupt me.'

'I will.' He continued without responding, so I decided to call him back by increasing the force on his arms a bit more. He blinked back and replied to me more exasperatedly,

'Finding something artificial inside of me will take less time than what we did yesterday. Stop interrupting me, you will not die.' He started to feel a bit dangerous again. 'You're clean again, you will survive.'

'Thank you for the vote of confidence, but this is a matter of efficiency, something _you_ should be able to appreciate.' He ignored the taunt and blinked into the other nen again. _It's most certainly the same amount, but I don't think your body will appreciate being pushed over the edge too often._ 'I do like you alive.' I smiled at him when I pulled him back again.

'I will live.' _You either need to let it run its course, or you don't let yourself be pulled back, it's one of these, nothing else._ And considering we're working on control, I'm not letting you let it run its course.

'I _am_ kind of responsible for you, so don't mind me interrupting.'

'I have grown up in this household, I know how to distinguish life-threatening from no-' We both blinked when he said those words while still in the other nen. He turned it back immediately and I stepped back for a second, bringing a finger to my lips, _well that was interesting…_ '…Huh.' _I think it deserves more than that._

'Well that's a good first step.' Illumi seemed to agree with this. 'Perhaps it's not about identifying this pulling force, but simply pulling yourself free from it like-' He didn't wait until I'd finished, going back into the other nen without restraint, attempting to do the same again within the timespan.

'This is easier than I expected.' His voice sounded different, but the fact that he could consciously raise his hand was far more fascinating to me.

A bit too fascinating, because we'd exceeded the time limit again. When his hand started shaking, I wanted to force him out of his little world, but he already did so on his own this time.

'Does _that_ cost you nen?'

'A bit.' The shaking stopped, but he kept looking at the limb a little while longer.

'Are you aware of how you do it?'

'No.' He dropped it again to look back at me. During these training sessions his eyes are far from stoic, and it kept feeling like a strange sight to me – Illumi being unsure of something. 'I just consciously command myself to do it.' He switched back immediately before I could respond. _You really have no clue whatsoever what's going on, and the things you_ do _understand, you hate to do…_ What a dire situation.

'Can you take a step?' He made me walk back the same way I'd commanded him to, not stopping even after the time limit was up. When he refused to switch back even after a minute and he had me pinned against the wall on the other side, I decided to give him a little jolt of my nen before it would get out of hand. I do appreciate _both_ of us surviving. _Your eyes are turning white again, I can't have that happen._

I made sure the jolt wasn't anything like the one that had brought him to his knees, but he still cringed, and he grabbed his head, hanging it, taking a forced, strained step back for balance.

'That was unnecessary.' His voice sounded normal again when he spoke up, but he was still holding his head in pain.

'I'll stop doing that if you make sure to keep to the lesson plan.' I waved my finger in disapproval of his actions. _I do like to see you in pain though._ What were your little brother's famous words again? If he doesn't react it means he can bear it, not that he doesn't feel it. So it's actually an amount of pain the great Illumi can't bear… I am both curious and apprehensive of finding out how bad it is.

'Alright.' He took a couple of deep breaths before looking back up at me saying those words, his eyes completely blank again. I stopped my finger and inclined my head. _I think I've just been promoted to actual teacher, haven't I?_ I now have three different ways in which Illumi looks at me; this look of obedience, when we have sex, and the normal "I'll bear being around you" look.

Three different modes of how Illumi behaves around me. _You are so efficient I must have you._

'What do I need to do according to you?' I retracted my finger, and the grin on my face grew hearing those sweet, sweet words.

'Fighting, physical activity, is most ingrained into your body. So we can either use that until you move naturally even when switched, or we listen and talk, something that requires more consciousness. Either of these give the same amount of progress over the same time span, if you ask me. However…'

'Talking with you for an extended period of time will most probably lead to too much agitation, let's stick with fighting.' I let out a small breath when he gave the expected answer. It will probably take until morning, maybe tomorrow afternoon, before he's basically to his own speed again. At that point he should be able to bypass the time limit, and we can move on to trying to make his body capable of sustaining the density.

I don't think that by that time either of us will have a lot of energy left though. And I do need that to not get infected again.

_Aah~ yes… no matter that he was taunting me, Chrollo was right when he said that being up close and personal with these sides of Illumi was definitely one of my main joys here._

* * *

_Ah, I think taking a subservient position as his student has made him a bit too enthusiastic._

I rolled my shoulders when I walked out of the shower in the afternoon of the next day. I'd been paralyzed by the end for more than a couple of minutes, but it had taken a long time before the paralyzed effect had actually surfaced this time. Apparently that only happens when I'm actually physically stopped. Hisoka has explained this. That my body can't cope with the density. I'd noticed my movements becoming more sluggish in the course of these hours, apparently it was because of that.

'Feeling better?' He'd followed me back into the mansion, my parents not even objecting when they encountered us walking the halls.

'We made a lot of progress, why should I feel bad.' We had. Although I haven't found a place yet where no time limit exists for my consciousness, I have extended my control greatly, and I can search better this way. As long as I don't cross the border completely, I can switch it back without problem now.

But that's kind of the point, isn't it. I have to cross the border completely without losing consciousness, that's the challenge for tomorrow.

'You have a point, but I don't think we're continuing today, are we.'

'No. You have more energy left this time though.'

'Do you think your nen is escalating inside of Kurapika?' I walked past him to get dressed again, ignoring the seemingly random question. It's not of real importance either way. He has nothing to do with us anymore. 'It's just that, why would he still be going through all the trouble of distracting us if he's suffering from that? Seems like a dangerous game to play if he still has your nen inside of him. On top of that, he won't be able to heal anyone else without infecting them, would he.'

'The association has exorcists.' I felt his eyes following me around the room.

'They haven't been contacted by him.' I turned around, cocking my head.

'What kind of point are you trying to make?'

'Just that it's interesting and should be taken note of.'

'The Kurta is reckless enough to do this.'

'But there's no need for the recklessness, he has the resources.'

'He's distracting us for someone, there's a good possibility he either doesn't have the time, or is not allowed to involve others in this.'

'That is indeed a point.' I sighed realizing what he was playing at.

'You rather just imagine the highly implausible situation is true because it's more interesting? That's not your instinct Hisoka, that's wishful thinking.'

'But what if-'

'He's not.' I stepped in front of him, asking him to leave me for now. He just panned his eyes up,

'Am I allowed to investigate it either way?'

'No.' It's of no importance to the training, and unless Mil contacts him on his own, it will not happen. He knew this already, so he didn't look disappointed when he hung his head a moment, and stood back up. He's going to find a way to investigate on his own either way.

I took a small step back to give him the room to leave, but my head stayed in place by means of his hand behind it forcing our lips together. I was ready to push him away in the second when he did this, but he let go without a fuss by himself. He gave me a short look after before complying and disappeared from my room.

If anything, _he_ is becoming more attached. Up until I took him here, he seemed to be happy with the situation, but not attached to it. Not until the point he apparently got told by Chrollo to get closer to me. I think he's doing his job a bit too well.

I'm glad the training is going this quickly by the way, that means it's not going to take long before I can send him away again and it will go back to the less uncomfortable situation of before – the situation where he doesn't linger and he's merely there for physical activity, not trying to get inside of me in other ways. Although being forced to do the same is having its effect on my behavior around him, I've noticed this.

I raised my hand, looking at it and remembering the feeling of when I'd first succeeded to move it consciously. Just before that moment, Hisoka had been under the impression I granted him as much freedom both during sex, and in normal situations. I have given him sufficient leeway if he believed that, but the urge to kill him on the spot had taken over for a moment. How can I stop that urge while I have a strong, physical repulsion to his closeness?

I took a deep breath when I realized there was nothing else to do about it than to stay conscious of this urge, and repress it to make sure everything's over as quickly as needed.

'… …' I dropped my hand again and walked to my desk to pick up my phone when it started ringing. For about two more weeks I will have to…. let Hisoka in. The entire concept of that felt alien and unnecessary even though it's been going on for a week now, but at least there was a time limit to it.

 _'I have a counter-offer.'_ I blinked hearing both the message and voice when I put the phone to my ear, leaning back against the desk.

'It wasn't an offer it was a threat, I thought I was pretty clear on that.' Why is Kurapika calling me again 24 hours later, I thought this had been handled already. Should I have threatened him more?

 _'I think you want to make it an offer after hearing me out.'_ I already started walking towards Milluki's surveillance room for immediate countermeasures. Because he was distracting, that meant one of his friends would get targeted right away. The trick here was to stop Killua from interfering, so non-mutual friends were the first targets.

'You know what this call means, so give me a good reason not to follow through on our agreement.' I lifted my hand to my hip taking a leisurely walk through the halls. Contrary to Hisoka, I am better aware of the occasional traps placed here.

 _'Illumi.'_ I stopped in my steps when I heard Killua's voice on the other side of the line.

'Ah! It's been a while Kil.' I responded in a happy tone, but a call originating from Kurapika probably meant that he wasn't happy with something. There's no reason for it to be that way though, all the Kurta has to do is listen to me. 'Have you been progressing with training? You're not teaching our techniques to your friends, are you?'

 _'None of your business, and you're always watching me anyway.' Well that's true._ I started walking towards Milluki's again.

'Well, I'm just making sure you survive in case it gets too difficult. You have to take over the family trade after all.' I've been making sure he does that from the moment father said he was going to inherit the title. Maybe I should switch my motivation to becoming more powerful to protect Kil? If he's not back by the time he surpasses my current level, I will have to be able to take care of those stronger than him if need be – because at that point my needles or suggestions won't have the same strength or effect on him anymore.

 _'Let's get down to business immediately.'_ Yes, I think it will work better if I do all of this for that reason.

'Alright. What's this "counter-offer" of yours.' There's really nothing except for killing himself that would make me reconsider this deal and he's not going to do that. I inclined my head to avoid a needle trap before walking in Milluki's door. He started cussing something about privacy in the house while I walked to stand beside him. I waited for Killua's voice to reappear,

 _'I will take on a mission again if you don't inform Chrollo of our whereabouts.'_ I inclined my head hearing those words. Kil's offering to do this just so Kurapika can have some freedom back?

'Alright.' The first part of his offer was more interesting to me though. 'As soon as he enters our grounds again, this "agreement" will be null-and-void. Is that alright with you.' I heard his discontentment when I added the redundant last part.

_'Call me again when you have something I need to do.'_

'I'll send the information of one that was planned for next week. How-' The call was cut off mid-sentence, and I pocketed my phone again. Agreeing to this just now, meant that I'd given the Kurta freedom to distract us as long as it didn't happen on this property. I think the pay-off is worth it though.

'Is there a fucking reason why you're still here?' I looked down beside me when I heard Mil's agitated voice. I guess there was only one thing left.

'Do you have the tracks on Kurapika's friends?'

'Of course, why wouldn't I.'

'I'll put them on my own network.' He got quiet for a second when I said this, but still started sending me the information needed,

'Fine. Have fun with it. You can fucking go now.' I nodded before I turned around and left.

Yes, it's going to be easier getting… closer to Hisoka if I see it as preparation for making sure Killua returns. With how stubborn Kil is, it can still take a couple of years before he returns for good. With how fast he's growing, I need to make sure I stay above his level – or at the least develop this convenient power to be able to use it freely.

Perhaps I should try this new motivation right away.


	12. Chapter 12

'… …' I grumbled hearing Illumi's words when he'd walked in my "house" again. I don't like the blonde dictating our movements like this. 'You're allowing him to bother us for something like that?' I knew it made perfect sense coming from Illumi, but still…

'He's still not allowed on the property, but I agreed not to make them wanted if he distracts us from somewhere else. If anything, that Kil is doing this tells me that he's either involved, or the Kurta is desperate enough for something to succeed that he's doing this for him.' That Killua was willing to make such a proposal means he knows exactly how to persuade his big brother. I guess there had been no chance whatsoever Illumi would deny this offer, no matter the possible consequences.

Well played, boys.

'So we're still free to train what we want here, right?'

'They will try to find a way to distract us from out there, we just have to keep an eye on that.' He walked past me inside without giving me attention, neither caring about the open door. _Alright then, a visit it is._

'There's a 90% chance that this distraction will be during Killua's mission, for effectiveness.'

'No it won't.' He only turned his head after stopping in the middle of the room, I couldn't see his eyes.

'You sound so convinced.' I replied a little agitated, and took lazy steps his way again.

'Doing a mission is stressful for him at this point for some reason. No matter the reason why he'd do it, they won't risk anything during that. There's still plenty of ways to distract us at lower risks.'

'Still you're not apprehending him.' I stopped right behind him, he turned his head a little more,

'We can do that at any time.' _At any time, you say…_ 'So pretending that I actually plan to hold myself to all of this, you're going to call Chrollo right now and give him the Kurta's location so he can take care of him.' I blinked at him a couple of times hearing that. And here I was thinking that he was completely oblivious when it came to getting his little brother to come back home.

'Are you sure? That means Killua-kun won't do a mission when there's the possibility he's actually prepared to do so.'

'There's enough time for him to do missions once he comes back. For now it's easier to just confine Kurapika.' I had to say, I was pleasantly surprised hearing this turn of events. _All the more time to play around._ 'We're going to oversee this capture, but they will believe it's all the Troupe's and your fault, there's no downside to this.' I laughed a little hearing that obsession seep through after all.

Well, it shouldn't take more than a day. That's a lot better than waiting for our "adversary" to do one thing or the other.

'I think I approve of this plan.'

'Of course you do.' I flipped my phone open once Illumi turned around, waiting for me to make the agreement. _You can't deny that you're more focused on yourself than you've ever been, foregoing this opportunity._ To be honest though, his little brother probably hadn't planned on doing anything at all.

Yes, I think apprehending all of them now is the correct choice if we want to enjoy our time here a little longer.

I closed my eyes and smiled when I noticed that the Spider's leader picked up without letting me wait this time. _So you actually feel like having contact right now, do you?_

_'I thought you'd be busier than this, Hisoka.'_

'Well I did work all through the night.' The moment I gave Illumi a knowing look, he let out a small sigh and turned away, choosing to sit down at the low table with his back turned until I was done. I'm curious at what sort of trap the boys have laid out for us though.

 _'And still alive to tell me, how's the progress going?'_ My, he actually _does_ sound interested this time, such the rarity. I casually stepped through the room, feeling pleased with that,

'It will take maybe another week or two.' That's more than enough time, I believe. At least by then Illumi will have a solid grasp on this power and we'll have worked out a number of kinks in the meantime. I turned my eyes down to him, but there was no reaction to those words. _I'm still not sure about giving Chrollo this power for our fight though, I think I'll fight him before that._ Him being able to absorb my nen would take all the fun out of it.

_'He's more cooperative than anticipated then.'_

'You underestimate my persuasion skills.' In all honesty, logic only gets Illumi to go so far – if the manipulator really didn't want to do this, he wouldn't. So yes, that thought brought a smile to my face. 'I'll not give you pieces of information, you'll get it when it's done. But that's not what I called for.' I heard him already wanting to put the phone away without warning, and continued. 'How would you like to know of the Kurta's whereabouts right now, by the way?' A small silence followed, but the line was still open at the least. 'It would save you the trouble. What with all those other, mysterious activities surrounding you.' Trouble he's not even taking yet though, which is odd no matter what he says he's doing.

_'This is through Illumi's tracking?'_

'I have my own ways, don't worry about that.' I stopped and ticked my nails against the side of a cabinet when another small silence fell. _You're thinking this through a bit too much._ Illumi must notice this as well.

_'This will put both your toy and that other Zoldyck in the line of fire, I can't imagine this is something he'd agree to.'_

'Of course you're forbidden to _kill_ the boys, that's a given.' I don't think you'd want Illumi after you if you'd actually take Killua's life.

No matter that this was Illumi's own plan, I still felt some hostility from his side. _Ah yes, that's the Illumi I like._

_'…Alright, give me the location then. It is perhaps a better idea to start torturing him for information already. He might be a bit resilient.'_

'I'll send it through in a second, thank you so much for-' I can't blame him for cutting it off there. He seems to have had enough of games and pretend. I'll be glad once the little blonde is out of the way as well. I'd like to put my full focus on these remaining two weeks to both enjoy myself and keep myself alive.

'Well, that takes care of it, doesn't it?'

'Yes it does.' _You're not leaving though._

'The boys will survive all of this easily enough, you have no faith in them whatsoever.' I decided to take the couple of steps to stand behind him.

'I have no faith in Gon.'

'…You have a point.' Gon won't abandon Kurapika, and Killua won't abandon Gon, this could indeed become slightly dangerous for the boys. I don't think they'll die though, but I guess the odds are a bit too much against them for Illumi to sit still. _You're kinda beating the purpose of having Danchou do this for us though._.. 'They will be fine, they've been through worse.' Not even offering that made him reconsider. '…So are we leaving right away, or wait a little while having some fun?'

'… …' When there was no real reaction from his side, I sat down flush behind him, forcefully gliding my hands along around his waist, my lips finding their way to his ear.

'Well? Does the great Illumi have some time to play?' He stopped my hand when it wanted to reach further down. Why else are you still here if not for this, though.

He turned his head a little after those words, looking at me. I didn't recognize the look in his eyes at first but he didn't let me wait long,

'You're needy.' My grin dropped, letting out a displeased sound hearing those words. _Well that's not exactly a turn on,_

'Well, I do like to have sex with you, this is no surprise, is it.' I cooed in his ear, but he continued,

'I thought fighting strong enemies was more important to you than sex.' I retreated my hands a little, giving him a little room, and he turned his head back. _Well this was strange._ I know I've been pushing more, but he hasn't exactly been unpleased by the results. Is it too much for him after all, then? That won't do.

'One is not exclusive to the other.' I said this, but the mood was dropping. I started feeling more like training instead of other fun activities.

'Mah, I've decided it's a good test for my new motivation anyway.' I gave him the room needed to stand up, his eyes demanding me to obey and stand up as well. I was comfortable enough where I was though.

'New motivation? That sounds intriguing.'

'Are you or aren't you going to go along in this? I thought you were "in the mood."' I huffed before closing my eyes a second and responding.

'I'm just curious, what would you need this new motivation for? The training's going just fine, isn't it?' He glared down at me, and I decided to push it even a little more, 'Or do you want to learn even more control?' I raised my hand in offering, but it took a while for a reaction. Really though, technically all this sex wasn't needed anymore for his training. We'd used it to agitate him to be able to switch into the other nen, but that's not really necessary at this point, is it. Is he aware of this? Why is he still offering his body?

Hmph. It wouldn't be too much to think that he sees this as a test to control me specifically. _Already thinking about after this training, are you?_

'I could also keep it at this level indefinitely, because it seems to suffice.' _You are._

'I don't think that uncomfortable feeling will help your control, though.' Better to play along a little then, before I screw it up for myself completely.

'I was fine before, and I will be fine after, I'll manage if you decide to merely keep taunting.' _I'm sure you will be, but…_

'Are you sure you were fine before I started to ha-' My sentence was stopped dead when a small arrow scratched just along my neck, pinning in far the wall in front of me. Illumi noticed this split second as well. I didn't need to reach up to know a small trickle of blood seeping down. I took care of it right away, the mood changing instantly. It wasn't hard to discern from this that I was about to say something I'm not supposed to pass on to him. For Illumi this means his family is keeping a secret specifically from him – most specifically a secret that insinuates he's been losing control without him being conscious of it.

I took a deep breath when I realized that there would be no physical activities of the sexual nature today, and resigned myself to waiting it out until it was time to stalk his little brother again.

'We're having sex now.' I was stopped when I stood up to walk outside. _Alright then…_

'Well let's get to it then, shall we.' I will stop pretending to know what's going on inside of him for now…

**###**

As soon as I made the decision, I threw the door closed, grabbed his face and walked him back all the way to the bed – which by now was nothing more than a mattress on the ground, but it would make do. Before his hands would find their way to my waist, I pushed him back on the soft surface, and he let himself fall on it. He shuffled up the right way and lay down when I lowered myself to my hands and knees and crawled over him. I closed my eyes and let him find the way up to my lips, taking a deep breath letting out a soft groan while still attached to me. I sagged a bit through my shoulders to lower my head with his, but I realized something while his hands lifted up around my torso.

This wasn't anything new.

We've done this countless times before, this is not a test in any way. By now I'm perfectly comfortable about having casual sex with him. The only test here would be about other intimacies, and that's not even needed to be tested – this level of physical comfort will do fine for the training.

Hisoka's hands stopped as soon as my lips became unresponsive. We froze in our spot for a couple of long seconds while I mulled all this over. I don't even switch instincts anymore, it's just something I do now.

I felt my hair glide off my shoulder unto his, and heard a displeased grunt from his side. Hisoka is not an idiot, he knows what I just realized and he probably knew this for a while already.

'You just figured to continue this as long as I was willing to play along? You really are needy.' I sat back on his legs, Hisoka lifting his arms under his head, looking up at me.

'Well, the point was about making you "comfortable" around me and using me to throw you off a bit, I think we've reached both those points, haven't we.' _Of course he wouldn't tell me this._ I blinked down at him when he looked away bored.

'You hoped for me to struggle with this 'till the end?' A soft chuckle vibrated in his throat, 'So you like seeing me struggle as much as I like to see you having to submit?' He lifted an eyebrow, looking back up at me. That's not very productive.

'Well, we can't help what we enjoy, don't we.' I shrugged it off and looked away. I hadn't thought that a different mindset would actually help me go over the final borderline this easily – even with the distraction of my family keeping secrets that Hisoka _is_ allowed to know. I'll forget about that for convenience for now – I'll deal with that as soon as Killua is secure. 'So what do we do now?' Do I still have things to take care of before we go? The perimeter is secure, I haven't had a message from Mil that it's been breached, we know exactly where Kurapika and his friends are, and training with Hisoka isn't until tomorrow again. 'How's that schedule in your head coming along?'

'There's not enough time for a decent training.' His whole body vibrated a little with the laugh that followed. I already knew what was going to happen before I stated it. I placed my hands next to his head with a force to get his attention again, closing my face in on his,

'Having "comfort" around you is nothing consequential and will disappear as soon as this is done. You being needy _will_ affect me, and you will stop being that once training is over. We will not increase our physical activities after this, nor will I tolerate more, and I will kill you on the spot if you disobey once we separate, is this clear?' He was not subtle in his expression that he liked this side of me more. Well, I guess that's one problem we're not going to have.

'Absolutely.' He unsubtly reached his hand down and grabbed me by the balls after the speech was over, I cringed slightly before he started rubbing over the area more gently. 'And I would appreciate not having to wear the collar tonight.'

'You having a grip on me will not change that. You're forced to stay near me until the training is over. With how much you like freedom, the collar is a given.' He closed his eyes and shrugged when that try hadn't worked, and I leaned back up, throwing my shirt off. Not a second later had he grabbed me by the ends of my hair and pulled himself up to set his teeth in my ear. I let out a small gasp and had to remind him. 'Blood will still not help me keep in control.'

'I wasn't planning on it while I'm still clean.' He whispered before licking the bit area, and I lay my arms around his shoulders. Apparently I _have_ accepted Hisoka's presence as non-threatening by now. Perhaps that has more to do with the redhead submitting to the situation so much and actually showing neediness than with the change in motivation for me.

He's not going to kill me or fight me to the death, I haven't sensed that need in him for a while. He's not a threat at this point.

That was a strange realization with someone like Hisoka. I thought that was impossible.

Although as soon as I step on his toes that mood will change instantly, won't it.

'Huh.' I exclaimed out loud while said person's hands slid around my waist.

'You wanted to do something else?' He whispered against my skin with a grin. Well, at least this doesn't make him boring like when he submits to others' wishes.

I blinked when that strange line of thought passed through me again, and pushed it away.

'No, keep going.' He laughed when I patted him on the back to do so, but didn't let it be said twice. He took full control when he pushed me over on my back. With my legs wrapped around him he threw his own shirt off and licked his way back up to my chest. I let out a deep breath when he reached there, and lay my arms above my head to let him do what he wanted. He wasn't oblivious to the change in state of mind though, he licked his way further up, along my collarbone and I tilted my head back so he could reach my neck better. But he stopped pleasuring my skin there.

Instead he crossed his arms over my chest, leaning up on it to be able to look at me. There was a kind of danger in it about him realizing what was going on. He wasn't too happy about it, was he.

'It was our goal, there's no real use in complaining about it.'

'… …'

'You wanted me to get used to it. Your pride isn't something that needs to be fed any more than it already is.'

'Well, you can't call it pride when I actually made it happen.' I had to give him that one, 'Besides, I thought you didn't like submitting.' I could hear the mock in every word of that sentence,

'Do you actually want to submit yourself that you're fighting me about it?' I mocked back,

'We both know the answer to that, don't we.' Of course I do, he likes to fight about everything. I sighed a little annoyed. It would be less of a hassle to just train some more. 'That's not really a surprise either. And you're not telling me you actually enjoy it just… laying there.' I blinked up at him when he made a valid point. For me to fight it, I didn't have to think of him as dangerous either way, 'I thought we passed that point after the first time you begged me to enter you.'

'… ...' He misses those days, when there was still a "prize" to be won. It's a good thing this ends within two weeks, because Hisoka's interest will be gone by then.

'I can't deny I liked it when you were helplessly enjoying it so much even though you didn't want to.' I know he said it to annoy me, but it was true and it annoyed me anyway. I narrowed my eyes a bit at him.

'I'm also noticing that you apparently only need the memory to enjoy yourself.' I lowered my hands back next to my torso when I felt that familiar thing pressing against me with my legs still wrapped around him,

'Well, you can't deny it wasn't enjoyable.'

'The following day was a little less enjoyable.' I exuded a bit more force with my legs, seeing a small cringe in his eyes from the pain. 'Also, I've seen you enjoy it more when I got some more experience.'

'Ah~ but you never told me where you got that, or are you just that good in learning from me.' He said that merely to tick me off as well. He knows I don't do this with anyone else. That I'm doing this with him is enough of an anomaly in my life.

'Well there's been enough willing participants.' Not a lie. Apparently both my client and Hisoka hadn't kept quiet about it, and there'd been occasional calls about jobs like that. Even though most of them were aware of the amount of money it would cost them to hire me for a mission, apparently they're not clear on what the term Assassin means.

'Sorry about that.' He wanted to crawl up over me a bit more, but I kept him in his place,

'Pleasure me.' He let out a huff when I demanded this with the same annoyed face, but he noticed it wasn't a question soon enough.

'None for me today, then?'

'My reactions are enough for you, aren't they.' He closed in a bit more, inclining his head so our lips brushed against each other when he whispered,

'Yes indeed, but I'll need a bit more freedom of movement for that.' This I allowed, and I put my feet back on the ground. He bit and pulled on my bottom lip, licking his way in to find my tongue. I inclined my own head a bit more for deeper access, and closed my eyes to finally continue instead of playing the game. He placed his hands next to my head, grinding his lower body against mine, eliciting a soft moan from both of us, but I pushed his body up and away from mine, because I'd forbidden him to do this.

He shuffled his legs up without protest, raking one hand to the back of my head through my hair and gliding the other one down, never leaving my lips.

With that one hand, he opened my pants and slid his fingers in. My breathing became a bit more irregular, but he still forced our lips together, inclining the other way, alternatively biting and sucking his lips as well.

He trailed his finger alongside of me though, merely pulling my underwear down far enough. I accommodated in this, pulling it down myself. After that, I lifted my arms again, holding on to and kneading the muscles of his upper arms while he took the small distance to look at me with half-lidded eyes and instead of wrapping his hand around me, he opened his own pants to give himself the room in case it would be needed.

'Don't worry, this won't take long.' When he brought his fingers to his lips, licking all around them it was clear enough what he was going to do. As his hand traveled back down, he softly bit in the flesh of my neck, pulling on my hair to give him some more room for this. Although outside of sex I don't particularly like pain, during the act a lot changes.

'… _Aah…'_...and it was unsubtly made clear when by now Hisoka took no time at all anymore to find the right spot inside of me. I felt the vibration of his groan against my wet skin as well when I made that sound, and he inhaled deeply,

' _Aah~ yes, more of that…'_ He released the grip on my hair a bit to get a better hold, and pulled my head to the side sharply, burying his head in the crook of my neck completely. And making me exhale deeply when he stretched me at the same time he brushed by the spot again. He pulled on the flesh of my neck, but refrained from making me bleed. He relocated now and again, slowly making his way to the front, restlessly gliding his hand through my hair, pulling my head back more and more, making my back arch both in the pleasurable feeling inside of me and to stop my neck from being snapped. My lungs expanded more through this, and Hisoka used this to glide his tongue down to one of my nipples, biting down on it – he hadn't touched my dick a single time, yet it was getting hard quickly. It was demanding to be touched, I was starting to feel restless.

Hisoka wasn't giving me the room to protest any of it though, as he kept teasing my with his fingers and teeth.

_This won't do._

If Hisoka wasn't going to do it, I would lay the hand on myself.

As soon as he noticed my hand traveling down though, the hand in my hair moved to my face instantly, forcing me to look him in the eyes while I touched myself. I closed my eyes when that area finally got the attention it needed and combined with Hisoka's movements inside of me.

'Didn't know you needed it so bad.' Before I had the breath to react, he lowered and rubbed himself up against me. He removed his fingers to angle himself better, not leaving me room to protest with all the preparation he'd been doing. I shouldn't have been surprised that he was almost completely hard himself. If he wants, he can practically become that on command. He refrained from locking lips at this point, but still hovered close to me when he repeated the movement, and I pinned him in between my legs again, stopping him from doing this. I clawed my way into the mattress for temporary control and breathed a couple of times before deciding that I was going to give Hisoka this one.

I pulled his hand out of my hair before pushing him back by his shoulders forcefully, crawling over him and only giving enough time for his hands to find their way to my hips before I lowered myself over him. I felt and heard the strong gasp against my chest, followed by a soft chuckle. While I moved up and down a bit to find a good angle which would rub me against his abdomen, Hisoka moved all my hair to the back and set his teeth in my collarbone. This sent a signal straight down, and I twitched against and around him.

 _'Again…'_ He pulled on the skin, and I let my arms find their way around his shoulders, pressing him forcefully against me, not allowing him to move away from there. His fingers clawed into the skin of my ass while his teeth buried deeper and deeper until skin broke after all. _This is at his own risk._

His hands traveled further up my back when he noticed I found a particularly pleasurable position, and hooked them on my shoulders, forcing the tempo once I decided to pick it up. I slapped more against him than I rubbed, but I actually liked it better that way, especially with the wet sounds of milking Hisoka at a merciless pace. He'd long since let go of my skin, merely feeling his hot breaths against the small wound, and the twitching inside of me. I noticed the same situation as when I'd made him scream my name, and I instinctually slowed down. He laughed a bit tortured, noticing I was teasing him again.

'… …' I noticed he swallowed some words, but before I could remark on that, he'd already laid his hand around me, starting to pump me. My nails shot into the skin on his back and I gasped loudly, letting my head fall on top of his. I twitched around him as well, bringing him closer with it.

' _Fine…'_ I exclaimed out of breath, starting to move again. Hisoka kept his hand around me, moving in time with me, but at this point it didn't take either of us very long anymore. I felt the grip of his hand increase, forcing me to stop before he'd hurt me, and deciding to simply clasp myself around him, making small, fast movements to make him lose himself and groan deeply against my skin while he filled me up. For a change, I decided to pull his head back by his hair and watch _his_ face while this happened. His half-lidded eyes looking up at me in pleasure, his lips curling up because of this small action, and he made sure his hand would take me into heavier breaths as well, tensing up my body and gasping loudly when the feeling focused in my lower body, pushing the accumulation of this out of me, all over Hisoka's chest. With every shock, I could still feel him twitch as well, and tension left my body, my hand gliding out of his hair and my eyes slowly opening again. Hisoka licked along my lips, catching my tongue for a second and stealing some of my breath before speaking up again,

'You see, it's more fun when both of us participate.' I didn't even have to swallow my own pride. That had been the first time having sex with Hisoka where I didn't have to keep a lookout for danger – even with asphyxiation – especially with that – I make sure to keep notice of his intentions. This time I hadn't. That had been… different.

Plus, apparently I now have enough control over the other nen that it doesn't go berserk with the slightest of stimulation, that's a plus.

'Again.' I raised myself off him, shuffling back a bit, looking him dead in his surprised eyes. He wanted to make a taunt, but before he even had the chance to, this time I took the words out of his mouth when I lowered my head in between his legs, licking the cum of his now flaccid dick.

 _'Aaah Illumi~ you're merciless.'_ His hand still found its way into my hair again, and stimulated me to continue what I was doing.

Yes, this is quite different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (My butt is freezing from lack of a working boiler in this house)(where did this suddenly come from, I thought it was becoming spring) But yaay I'm so proud of me writing again :D  
> And look! Look! CasualSex!Illumi strikes again xD  
> "Just something you do" uhu, hmhm, yes, I am patting myself on the back for making Illumi come this far *badum tss* (it's bad-pun weather, I'm sorry) (it's what I use to keep myself warm)


	13. Chapter 13

'Ready?' Without waiting for an answer, we took off in Illumi's car later that afternoon. We had some ground to cover, but we knew exactly where we needed to be. Danchou is aware of the location, and if all goes well, we'll be there before him to check what kind of plan the boys might have made to trap us. I'm both amused and curious to that.

A small discomfort had arisen though. The source of this had been a certain conversation I'd had in between Illumi-time.

* * *

_'I think we actually set a new record this time.' I remarked off-handedly when Illumi stepped off me for the last time, and I let out a pleased groan before lifting to my feet as well._

_'Don't be ridiculous, this was just two hours, we've done it for five once.' Well that's true; that was a rare moment of Illumi finishing a mission quicker than planned. He walked off into the bathroom, but when I wanted to follow after I got a towel thrown in my face. No, by now I understand preparations have to be made, we're not doing it again. 'You'll be at the gate in one hour.' While I was leisurely wiping myself clean of everything we'd done, Illumi had wasted no time in starting to get dressed already. I threw the towel over my shoulder, waiting until it was alright to take a shower._

_'Yes master.' I got a dirty look for that mocking tone even though he knew it would do little to me. I was just enjoying the show of him fixing his clothes and hair, the scent of sex still strong in the room._

_'You will get the same collar, you will not call Chrollo until after, and this is a stealth mission, so keep your bloodlust to yourself please.' Although "comfortable" around me, doesn't mean we can't annoy each other, his tone told me that much._

_'Not a problem.' He sighed deeply and placed his hand on his hip when I answered so casually._

_'Just because I take into account that you won't listen doesn't mean you'll like the consequences when you don't.' Alright, I'll just take one liberty then._

_'Don't worry, I'm well aware of the consequences.' He gave me another long look once he was done getting dressed completely, but walked out without another word after. I'm a "hopeless case", aren't I. He probably already has a dozen plans in mind with whatever he thinks I'm going to do._

_I stood to walk to take a shower – which was dearly needed after the last two hours – but I wasn't given the peace yet. I turned back around before I'd even turned on the water when I heard a knock again already. Apart from the threat before the sex started, things are seemingly going well for a change today. I don't mind Illumi being comfortable around me as long as I can still annoy him – he's more fun that way, and also more creative. Plus, once all this is over he's already given the guarantee to still wanting to continue this. Yes I think I like today._

_'You're staying here.' When I opened the door a second after that thought, I was greeted by Zeno though. A bit annoyed at this hindrance to my good mood, I wanted to close the door again, but something told me that was a bad idea. Common sense, perhaps. 'Are you going to let me in my own property or not?' He was displeased. I thought I'd deal more with Silva, but apparently Zeno has taken over that task._

_I stepped aside for him to enter, automatically closing the door behind him._

_'I'd ask to what I owe the pleasure to, but I have a vague idea.'_

_'If you have an idea, then I would like to know why you broke the rule.' He stopped and turned around in the middle of the small room. 'I am aware of the rule Silva gave you, because I told him to give you that rule. Illumi does not need to know that he's been losing control longer. When are you planning on telling him about the reappearing corpses as well?' There was an amount of threat about him that refrained me from back-talking too much at this point. He wouldn't be able to kill me, but I wouldn't like my life for a while either._

_'It slipped out, my apologies.'_

_'Do you know what happens when one of my grandkids or Silva let something slip they shouldn't.' Although somewhere I wanted to find out – and I saved this option for a later time - my focus is not on fighting him right now, and I'd still like to move in an hour. It is very interesting though, because the only way in which Illumi finding this out would still compromise him, was if it had to do with his first outburst._

_Interesting indeed._

_'I can see you're already making it worse for yourself than it already is, do you think this wise.' The grin that had very slightly started to form, stopped again immediately. 'Good. Now because of what you've done, Illumi has questions again. I suggest you make sure those disappear.' I'd have to make them disappear with myself as well. That goes a bit against my nature._

_'I'll do my best.' He grumbled and narrowed his eyes at me when I gave that answer, and he slowly stepped towards me. Somewhere I got the notion that stepping back would've been better for my health. Having to look up did not make his presence less intimidating._ Yes, I'm saving you for another time.

_'You won't last long here with that attitude.' In the short silence thereafter, all he did was look at me. I've worked hard on my own to get this strong, I can't say I would've preferred growing up here. But seeing all this up close I can imagine how Illumi got that strange family loyalty he has._

_'Well fortunately for all of us it will take no longer than perhaps another two weeks.' The danger in the room dissipated a little. You've been watching, haven't you? You should be aware of every bit of progress already. 'It's progressing quite smoothly, we just need one or two more breakthroughs.' I raised my fingers one after the other, and got his eyes narrowed at me, dropping my hand again right away._

_'And he hasn't shown signs of aversion against you.' That wasn't a question, that was a statement._

_'Well, it_ was _the goal, wasn't it? Making sure I'd stay under Illumi's skin as a catalyst. He seems to be quite comfortable with that by now.' Or was getting comfortable with it not part of the plan? It probably won't make him less of an assassin, it shouldn't matter._

_Or does this have to do with his first outburst as well?_

_I repressed the grin this time when thinking about it._

_'Just keep doing what you do and make sure you stop his curiosity.' Well, I hadn't expected more of an answer than that, actually. He walked past me to the door opening, turning his head slightly to give his goodbye message. 'The next time you show sign of breaking the rules, the needle won't miss. You already expired our exorcist – which was poor use of judgment from Illumi's side – so I suggest you quell your need for fighting elsewhere.' Yes, Illumi can sometimes be a bit more rash than his elders, can't he. Zeno shadow stepped away afterwards._

_But did I just get permission to have some fun tonight?_

_I blinked a couple seconds, realizing this to be truth, and allowed the grin back to my face. I think I'm having a good day after all, despite being denied my investigation._

* * *

'How was the conversation with grandfather.' I let out a small huff when I heard that question seemingly come out of nowhere from the man next to me not sparing the car in his driving abilities. _Your vehicles need to be Zoldyck trained as well._

'I'm not supposed to tell.' You _are_ curious about the secret, aren't you.

'Ah. So it _was_ concerning the fact they're hiding something from me that they _have_ told you.' I remained silent. Not answering is one thing, quelling curiosity is another. I don't feel like doing that. 'Will they kill you after all if you tell me anything?' _I don't believe the threat was empty, no._ I still would love the opportunity to fight this entire family….

'Shouldn't we be focusing on making sure your little brother's safe?' I casually replied,

'You'll only be focusing on keeping your eye on Gon no matter what I tell you to do, and we'll probably have a five minute margin counting in the time at which you called Chrollo.' I closed my eyes and smiled. _Aah yes, I like hearing you talk like this._ I like the collar again a little less though. 'Well, if they're going to kill you over it, I guess I'll just ask after everything's done.' _Why thank you so much for your concern._ I turned my eyes his way when I heard that.

'I know you're used to secrets in the family, but I have to say you must be feeling _very_ comfortable with me by now that-!' He took a particularly sharp curve before I was able to finish my sentence, making me smack against the door. I narrowed my eyes at infinity in annoyance. There hadn't even been a turn there.

'Ah, sorry about that, it seems to be misbehaving.' _That was even less subtle than normally._ 'The details of this nen have been kept secret to me from the moment I'd had my first outburst. Apparently I don't even remember tests before or after. However, I'm still alive and we're making good headway now as well. There's no reason for me to be curious about it beyond what we have to accomplish.'

'How kind of you to give an explanation after all.'

'You've been told to keep it a secret from me, and you just had a conversation telling you to stop me from asking questions, right? It's making you uncomfortable because you want to agitate the situation but you realize that's a bad idea while still under our command. Having you distracted like this helps no-one. I'm not immediately curious, so explaining best helps the situation and to remove the distraction. Now you don't have to take my non-existent curiosity into account anymore.' I had to laugh a little hearing all that. Illumi allowing himself closer to me has apparently had the same effect on me – I've become more readable to him. _I think I agree with the terms you gave this afternoon, a bit of distance and unpredictability works better for both of us._

'You work in mysterious ways.'

'Good.' I smiled and leaned back in the chair again when we reached a highway. Speed went up another notch. I don't think I took this much speed into account when contacting Danchou, we'll probably be there well before him.

Illumi's gotten quite obsessed with keeping his little brother safe by the way; it's always been that way, but this verges on doting him in their family. That's strange for him. I guess he's merely holding on to that which he has and knows while his shield is crumbling down and his old self is re-emerging.

He must be looking forward to it so much to feel all those emotions again.

To be honest though, I like him better when he's able to conceal most of it.

Is this how he would've been towards Killua-kun if he hadn't had his shield then? I think he should be glad Illumi trained him as hard as he did instead of this useless keeping out of danger act.

Well, it _is_ concerning Killua-kun, I should've expected this, shouldn't I. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the trip for as long as it would last.

* * *

I think I may have ruined the engine for this car with how I've driven this time, but we arrived at the edge of the concerning town before midnight, and we'd chosen to go by foot from there. I think the car will make it back to the mansion, but it will need some maintenance afterwards.

The factors I'd taken into account for time of arrival, were an estimate of when Hisoka had called Chrollo, and when either of the spiders could arrive at the Kurta, and that Kil wouldn't leave the Kurta's side after the call he made to me. Even though Killua would say to tactically retreat so Kurapika wouldn't be found, Gon would talk against that. From what I've seen, Killua will compromise to this, and they will not be right next to the blonde, but they will be close and in contact.

The only thing that needs to be taken into account is that friend of the Kurta's who has incredible hearing – is that woman with him, or with the boys?

Considering they know it's Killua that's being tracked and most easily found, I have to take into account that we can make no sound at all coming within a certain distance of them.

The last factor that I have to keep in mind is that Killua has perhaps once again found his track and is misleading our location. I _do_ believe that he's smart enough to know that from the moment he made the call they became a bigger target.

I stopped both of us a kilometer away from Kil's supposed location.

'We're close now?' Hisoka grabbed my attention before mouthing those words. I turned to look his way a second, but I kept closer watch on the footage input in front of my eyes. With two devices fastened behind my ears that I could move out of the way at any time, I could see both Kil's current location on a detailed map, and now that I was close live images as well. I hadn't expected their accomplice to be close, and she wasn't. I'll scout around for her a bit more. Although Killua is smart and has a good understanding of how we work, I've used enough variations of methods over the years to counter his own limited experience.

The only anomaly was that Gon wasn't there. He's most probably left to help Kurapika then. That's actually better, Hisoka will be less of a nuisance.

I switched images on the one with live footage to scout for Melody, I like to have a complete picture of their plan so I can anticipate their moves if they try to escape and I may be forced to take out a Spider going for Killua. There's a chance Gon is with the blonde's friend because Killua will suspect I send him after her, but either way the goal is merely to distract them so Killua won't be near Kurapika when Chrollo appears.

As it is now, we won't have to do anything, but the chance Gon will rush in to help the blonde are too high, and Killua will follow after. So we still have to stand ready to follow through.

'Why not just paralyze the boys.' I looked at the redhead again when he ticked my shoulder for attention. 'You have too little faith in Chrollo either way.'

'I have zero faith in Chrollo.' I mouthed back. 'And paralyzing them would give away this was my doing. I don't understand how you have any faith in Chrollo, he doesn't care about killing anyone that gets in his way.' It wouldn't be smart of him, but he doesn't care about the extra danger with enemies such as us.

Killua is aware that there's a track on him, so he will use Melody to pinpoint our locations, and then will have to communicate it to his friends. I take it he told them not to engage in direct combat, so it's traps we have to look out for. Considering he thinks Kurapika is our goal, I don't think he'll expect I put Hisoka out there. And he won't expect me to be at the same location, he'll believe I'm using him as distraction and will either flee his location or use whatever communication method he has in mind. It's only depending on how much Kurapika has told his friends about his issues with Chrollo if they actually expect _them._

I kept scouting the location for the Kurta's friend in the meantime. The most unpredictable situation would be if she'd spot us first and everyone would be warned before anyone could do anything. Well either way, I don't understand why they don't flee in the first place – I mean, I can follow them either way, but at least they'd be safe from the Troupe a bit longer. So I'm assuming that Kurapika hasn't told his friends about his dealings with the Spider.

'… …!' … Ah! 'Go to Kurapika's location.' Killua hadn't seemed to notice our presence, but a message given to him had caused him to rush out with haste. That could only mean one thing.

'Understood.' I clicked the proximity danger for his collar off. Although a bad idea to let Hisoka have a chance of meeting with the Spiders, it would be a worse plan to have him chase after Killua.

He disappeared right before me, before I set in pursuit.

However, once I had visual with Kil again, I stopped in my tracks. I shot out a needle instantly, but took a small breath and calmly made my way down. The signal had seemed a bit slow, yes.

So Killua had found the track on him and looped the images before we'd arrived, planting it on this dog. I walked over to the animal, catching the small flying device and disabling it. I took a closer look at the collar, noticing that apparently they'd had some technical assistance in sending a signal through to make the dog behave like they wanted to.

I took it off the animal before releasing it from its paralysis, watching it scurry off in fear. So either they _are_ long gone, or they're all at Kurapika's location.

'… …' I decided to head for Hisoka's location immediately.

If Killua has shaken his track then the entire group should have fled already, but there's still the possibility the Spiders have found them and are in pursuit – if that's the case, then Hisoka is after them as well, and it's the opposite of the situation I'd intended.

* * *

For all our sakes, with this whole situation I can only hope Illumi won't go berserk tonight. He's feeling more in control now of his power, it's not unlikely that if he wants to "punish" us, he'll use that nen.

Let's focus on right now though.

I stopped in my tracks when I felt a familiar presence as soon as I got closer to Kurapika's location.

Well, there were two, but the second presence was merely a linger. Considering their identities, probably no berserk Illumi tonight then. The gang had shaken their track and moved out of harm's way before we'd arrived here, leaving a trap to delay us even more – that had been a good distraction.

Outside distractions were okay according the deal though, so technically they did nothing wrong. I don't think Illumi cares enough to either honor or break that deal as long as Killua will do his mission.

Although chances are higher that Killua never intended to do this mission in the first place, I think Killua-kun knows his brother well enough to do it either way; he knows the consequences otherwise – and although a distraction, he won't be able to counter it that time.

_This distraction is so important to all of you, why are you working on a timed schedule as well._

I descended towards the still present person inside the room, and made my entrance, seeing the head of the Spiders sitting on the edge of the bed with a phone in his hand. He didn't look all that displeased.

He finished his message before looking up at me.

'That was an elaborate trap.'

'Yes it was.'

'That you're here means Illumi is as well. I take it this was to take care of the Kurta with us?' I kept standing against the far wall, eyeing this interesting piece of candy.

'We were here to prevent you from killing the boys.' He raised an eyebrow when he heard that, putting the phone away.

'That's unusual.' _That his focus had been on his little brother instead while there was no more significant cause for concern than normally?_

'Yes it is.'

'You're doing a good job then.'

'Thank you.' I inclined my head, 'Kurapika escaped though. So my apologies for wasting your time.'

'He didn't. Feitan already has him detained, the boys are as well.' He stood up after those words, ready to go. Well, all in all I was right, there had been no reason whatsoever to come here.

'I'd appreciate it if you keep those boys alive though.'

'No I understand, I don't feel like dealing with the Zoldycks, and those kids not a real threat anyway.' _…are you sure about that?_ They've given you the roundabout more than once…

'I'll leave you to it then.' Apparently he wasn't allowed to leave the room though.

We both turned our heads to the window when we felt danger approaching in the form of the Zoldyck's eldest son. _You really are becoming more irrational._ No, we're turning you back to normal after this. This is way too predictable.

'….how very interesting.' I turned my eyes back to Chrollo who sounded like he was underestimating the situation, but his posture said otherwise. He was on alert from the moment Illumi stepped inside the room as well. _Well you're not looking happy,_

'Before you ask the obvious question, Killua-kun is still alive and well, and Kurapika has been captured.' If we were in a training session working on control, we still had some time left before Illumi wouldn't be able to switch back, but he was too willing to let it go, so time was burning out fast.

'I can take you to him if you want.' Chrollo speaking up seemed to have been a bad idea. Illumi's head sharply turned the spider's way. _Well this is bad…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pfffft I think I killed myself analyzing this chapter.  
> Hey hey hey! Look at me, finally updating again xD   
> Hope you enjoy!


	14. Chapter 14

'I believe he doesn't really like you at the moment, Danchou.' Illumi passed me to go for him, but he didn't move away even a little. At this rate he'd be infected or worse. I don't think I appreciate that. 'It will be easier if we let him lead the way instead of killing him.' The danger didn't diminish, and I sensed the borderline coming closer. By now I have a fairly good knowledge of that,

'This is different from before, isn't it. It's already more focused.'

'I can tell you like it, but-' I had to step in when Illumi reached out and lifted Chrollo by the neck. Since he was still on this side of the line, I surged some nen through him to force him to let go.

This time, Illumi didn't fall to his knees, but he did give room for Chrollo to step away, and he worked hard to keep standing until he'd switched himself back completely. Whatever either of you does, you're not allowed to die by someone else's hands. Illumi should be happy that switching him back was all I forced on him.

'Don't misbehave so much.' I mused when I noticed the surge had taken care of everything, and Illumi's hand raised to hold his head. _Well you may not have fallen to your knees this time, but you still don't like the feeling, do you._ 'Killua-kun is fine, he's just being detained, don't go berserk just over a hypothetical situation.' I really have not ever seen you this unstable.

'Alright.' He answered calmly, his head still in his hands, having more trouble with gravity than normal. 'Did I do any damage?' _I didn't allow you to, no._

'No you didn't.' It was Chrollo who answered. 'But I appreciate the effort you've been making.'

'The effort is not for you.' He lifted his head again with those words, and suppressed the other nen completely in the meantime.

'Fair enough. I'll lead the way then.' Without any second thought, Danchou left through the window, with me and Illumi following close behind. I think we need to find out the trick to this pulling force quick for all our sakes. Having Illumi unstable with his level of obsessiveness is not a pleasant combination.

* * *

From there on, Illumi had reactivated the proximity danger of my collar. Considering we were heading towards others from the troupe, I can imagine he would. He doesn't trust me outside the bedroom either way, especially not around this group of people.

There had been little danger though, Danchou was only with a small group today, most of the troupe were scattered leaving him with Phinks and Feitan. Although interesting – I do prefer Danchou on his own. You should all be aware of this already.

I guess any chance either of you get to control my actions is interesting to you, isn't it. I feel so flattered.

'Not that I'm not impressed with this progress, but is there something I could help with now that you're here?' He was walking us to where Phinks was detaining the boys. Of course Kurapika was being kept elsewhere.

'Hisoka will talk with you about that.' I got the question passed on to me from Illumi who seemed less than eager to communicate with anyone but his little brother at this point. I smiled to myself,

'I get this notion that it won't be good for my health if I talk with you about this, Danchou.' He laughed softly, accepting the answer. Of course, I wasn't too eager on giving him information either. The way this power of Illumi's is developing, it's not easy to counter and quite powerful. I think I would have more fun fighting Danchou the way he is now. Too bad I can't get rid of this collar so easily…

'That's quite the device that it can keep you silent, Hisoka.' He threw the tease my way. 'And it wouldn't be able to if you weren't doubting about helping me with this, would it.' He stopped in the hallway before we reached anyone. Seems like he's more than aware of my motivations. It would be nice if the reverse were true as well though. 'I am aware of how fickle you are, that's why I'm keeping Gon.' He turned his head halfway to look at me directly when he told me this. I let out a displeased grunt hearing that. _If you're aware of how fickle I am, then by all means, you should be wanting to take one of the necessary items from me now._

Or are you already waiting for the right moment for that? Is that what you're so busy with?

… ….No he's not. He voluntarily left it with me. Oooh~ how I'd love to be able to look inside that mind of yours.

In this short moment of silence, he noticed my interest in this and smiled,

'You have so little faith in me.' I answered with. Chrollo softly laughed before answering, turning back to walk us to our destination.

'There is no-one in this hallway that should have faith in each other, that should be clear.' _Well that is a given, yes._

The moment we stopped again was when he'd softly pushed open a door, walking on without further delay. Although I would've liked it more to follow Danchou to witness what was being done to the Kurta and what kind of information would come out of him, I appreciated my life enough not to. Illumi was trigger happy enough as is, the close proximity of Killua does not do that much good.

'Oh it's you again.' I could already hear the annoyance when Phinks noticed my company. I looked down at Killua-kun being all tied up and held down, not looking entirely too pleased by his new company. His eyes opened wide when Illumi stopped in front of him. Gon stayed remarkably calm this time,

'Don't worry, we haven't done anything to him.' He pulled him forcefully back down when he'd wanted to stand up, and got up from the ground himself.

'That was a smart move.' I turned my eyes back to him. He was surprisingly quiet being so near his obsession.

'Not a question of a smart move, question of orders.'

'So, what're you going to do with him now?'

'None of your business.' I noticed a lack in reaction from Illumi's side to that,

'I think he'll be a bit too resistant to torture.'

'He will be.' This he did decide to react to. 'I was the one to train him in this, he won't say a word.' There was a small amount of pride when he said this, just before he lifted his hand to his little brother's head.

Although he cringed, Killua didn't retreat when Illumi patted his head.

Phinks himself didn't look entirely too comfortable under any of this either. That was far from interesting though. Still I listened to the brothers' "conversation".

'They didn't do anything to you?'

'…This coming from _you_?' I smiled hearing how much trouble it cost him to say those words, only to be ignored,

'I suggest to stay out of the Troupe's way if you want to survive.' Well now, I do believe the boy's bloodlust would be more impressive if it wasn't aimed at Illumi. _All that insecurity, such a shame._ This was starting to become boring, though.

'Didn't know they'd become your servants.' Illumi retreated his hand, bending over and closing his face in a bit more.

'They haven't.'

'…Then why the _hell_ are they here.' He bit through his teeth. This was strange, they weren't aware of Kurapika's… issues, with the Troupe? I crossed my arms, looking down at the boy. My attention was called back a little.

'You didn't know Kurapika was being hunted by the Troupe?'

'He is?'

'Shut up, Gon.' My my, these boys know nothing of what their friend is doing, but still threw themselves into it. How very… loyal of them.

'But Killua, you said that Kurapika was just trying to get closer to Illumi for some reason?' I raised a hand to my mouth to stop a laugh,

'Goddamnit Gon…' Killua hung his head, but Illumi didn't let him be,

'Get closer to me?'

'He said that after we asked what he was doing.' He mumbled back, realizing it was a bad idea to lie at this point.

'So you did all this to lure me out?'

'…Yes.' He sounded defeated. Apparently they were planning to let us follow them and lure us into some kind of trap further on, then. Considering how little Kurapika told them though, I doubt we can trust anything they think is the truth.

Would Danchou let us near the blonde, though…

'You will stay away from the Troupe from now on, understood?' Gon started struggling again when Illumi lifted Killua's face forcefully. In Phinks' grip though, there was nowhere to go for either of them. 'And I expect you to do the mission like agreed.' He narrowed his eyes up at Illumi before silently conceding. At that point, Illumi smiled down at him, and stood back up straight again.

'We're going, Hisoka.'

'That's it?' I was a bit surprised that this was enough to satisfy his current needs.

'Kil is fine, we're going back.' I kept a soft laugh to myself as he walked to turn the corner out of the small room again. I followed before the proximity danger would activate, lazily raising a hand in goodbye to the pair still having to wait in the room.

I think this is going to be our last outing for a while though.

However, now that I've decided on fighting Danchou before all this is over, I will have to find new ways to isolate him again, and I can tell that is not going to be done so easily anymore – they're constantly anticipating I do this now…

I will save this little gem for when I'm done with Illumi~

* * *

_This has not been an effortless night._

I'd lost control too easily today. After this is over, I'm going to stay at the mansion until full control is back and keep myself isolated from outside information – I will delegate my existing tasks.

'We're not continuing immediately? I surely thought that after realizing what's happening to you, you would feel eager.' Hisoka entered my room without warning or permission, but kept his distance for now. We'd returned an hour earlier at the break of day, and I've had to answer to grandfather still overlooking my activities. I was surprised I hadn't been put on punishment training. Then again, at this point it is more important to focus my efforts on getting this nen under control. In controlled environments there's progress; in other environments it now has more freedom than before.

So until I have full control, I am not leaving the premises again.

'We need focus for that training to be effective.'

'You don't have that right now?' His tone sounded too serious for him,

'That should be obvious.'

'Want me to help you focus then?' I stood up from the bed when even that had sounded serious and not playful.

I think he made his decision on whether he's going to allow Chrollo this power.

'No matter what happened, we both haven't slept.' I took slow steps towards him.

'That shouldn't matter with you, should it.'

'You know how much focus this training requires. If I'm not calm doing this, it will generate less progress.' When I stopped inches away from him, he still didn't get a playful look in his eyes. Either he was hiding it better than normally, he was finally serious, or his focus is currently somewhere else for the first time.

'… Chrollo knows you're going to betray him again.' A faint smile appeared on his lips. 'So he also knows you're going to press to fight before you give him the second item. Plus that he's allowed you to keep it knowing the situation might happen. All of this suggesting he wasn't interested in getting this nen in the first place – supported as well by him not laying any importance in securing the other needed item. Which leaves few other options on why he's doing this.' Considering the look in his eyes focused even more, I was on the right track, 'He either wants to just use me, he's delaying you as well – which would be strange considering he gave you a time limit – or he wants both of us out of the way until the appointed date after which he'll use both of us. Either way, your fight with him is not going to happen.' Although that usually taunted him, this time he remained stoic under it, keeping his arms crossed. 'Or of course the other option, which is that you two are keeping a secret and I'm going to be the one betrayed.'

'You know I would never do that.' The corners of his lips raised a little exclaiming this. A bit of pleasure returned, but I know he wouldn't. He's not going to risk retribution.

'Which leaves Chrollo's motivations that are bothering you, right?' I inclined my head, waiting until he slightly nodded in confirmation. It took him a small while to admit something was bothering him, 'Then you want this to progress more quickly so you can use me to capture and isolate him.'

'Perhaps.' I blinked at him. This is not a good state of mind for my training, his focus is intense, but not on the right goal. 'Mah, if it will be better to start it later, I'll be training by myself in the meantime then.' He gave me a couple of seconds to calculate the possibilities before he'd walk away. Because in the end, the hours lost to sleep would be greater than reaching 100% of the wanted results if we started now. 'Looks like you decided to join after all, didn't you.' How he noticed this was beyond me, and I stepped away when he inclined his head to kiss me.

'Let's go then.'

* * *

'We seem to have run into a snag.'

'We have.' After five hours of continuous training, no progress seemed to happen. I've hit a time limit once again, and I'm unable to pass it. It's not my intention to extend the time limit, but with working on the pulling force, it had extended on its own. That has stopped now, and we've been in the same situation for two of these five hours. We should've taken a break earlier.

Because no matter what I tried, I wasn't able to bypass the pulling force or get a good hold on it in the first place. By being able to extend the time I'm able to train my body to get used to the density to some degree – keeping the aura to myself - but that's where progress stops. Because I can't get rid of that pulling force, there's a severe limit on this ability. I'm constantly working on maintaining control instead of using its power. It really is a shame, I'm starting to appreciate it now that there's the possibility of control. If I develop it a bit further I can even reject nen, or pull the nen in people towards me without absorbing it. I wouldn't even need the needles anymore to manipulate.

On top of all this, now that Hisoka has made his decision concerning Chrollo, he's become more efficient as well – less playing around.

All these beneficial factors, but they're all counting on the fact I'll be able to break loose.

I sighed realizing this.

'Hmph.' I looked back up at Hisoka when I heard the huff.

'Do you have an idea?' His lips turned up when answering.

'You sound so eager by now. I remember when you hated even the notion of losing control.' _That was before we got this close._ I raised my voice,

'Do you or don't you?'

'I do.' I inclined my head, surprised to hear he might actually have an answer. It piqued my interest.

'You know what the pulling force is?' He lifted his finger, pushing away from the wall, taking slow, casual steps my way. He was pleased with himself again. Well, if it benefits me, I don't care if he is or isn't. He's been helping me better than normal today either way,

'It's so clear that we overlooked it completely.' He still liked to talk around it though. I sighed my answer hearing his old mood rearing its head again at this point,

'Just tell me, Hisoka.'

'You can switch this nen on and off by giving away control, right?'

'I let go in order to gain control again afterwards, yes.' So to some extent I do give away control.

'What this nen wants most is gain complete control, right?'

'When I give that, I turn into that berserk monster, and that's not the goal here.' He shook his head before lowering his hand to his hip and stopping in front of me. I cocked my head in question. Where was he going with this?

'What if the nen and the pulling force are two separate entities?' _Ah,_

'What do you mean?'

'That giving away control merely activates the other nen and that the pulling force is a counter, the safety your family built in, that they're not one and the same.' I raised my head again. _Of course, the berserk side forces me to let the nen flow out, it is the defense they implanted._

'That is a good point.' He smiled even more pleased to himself when I said that.

'So instead of giving away control I should find another way to switch the nen?'

'Well, you know the feeling of the other nen now, don't you?' He stepped back when he noticed I was searching myself for this feeling. If the pulling force and nen are indeed different entities, then I should be able to find a place where only one of the two is able to exist.

Hisoka took another step back when my own aura started to flow more than normally to the point where my hair started to lift as well.

_What was that feeling again._

Instead of giving away control, I need to… embrace that other nen, right? Because that is supposed to be same as my own, only more dense. I need to order it to switch, keeping in complete control. This is an amount of control I haven't had to exude for a long time.

Both by the feeling inside of me and the look in Hisoka's face I noticed I was searching in the right direction though. I closed my eyes and relaxed my body looking for the switch in the recesses of my nen. I could tell Hisoka was getting curious even though he wasn't saying anything, and I had to ask him to conceal himself for my focus.

_Quiet, I need complete quiet._

He grumbled being told to do this, but complied. He's not stupid, he can tell we're close to something.

_Where is the switch…_

It took a couple of minutes.

It took a couple of minutes before I realized that there wasn't just one switch. The one switch I'd used before was the factor of giving away control – the factor that activated the pulling force as well. I needed to stop searching for a switch and focus on the feeling of the nen actually switch-

I opened my eyes again when I felt a bone creak in an attempt to succeed in my search, but didn't stop. _It's more violent this way, isn't it. The pulling force was the actual anomaly planted inside of me to subdue this full force as well..?_

That would make sense. Controlling something my body can't handle puts more stress on it than to just let it all mindlessly flow out, doesn't it.

But the pulling force hasn't been declining, has it?

Then again, I more easily fall into that other nen than I have before. That means the pulling force is constantly keeping watch, but only activates when the other nen activates.

So instead of switching to the other nen, I should switch the pulling force off first.

But that hasn't worked from the start, has it.

I stopped exuding aura at that point, and subdued it all. I stopped Hisoka from speaking up with a small hand gesture, telling him I was still working on it.

The pulling force is a dormant factor inside of me, I just need it to stay dormant. I need to fool it into thinking everything is still normal. How do I do that?

'How about you try to keep it all inside of you this time instead of allowing it to ooze out.' It seemed that Hisoka had had the same line of thought. I returned his attention when he offered this solution. 'If you accept all of it – if it doesn't need to flow out – that should trick it enough, don't you think.' I will most probably break a couple of bones doing that though. But it was worth a try. I can reset those bones at a later time. By now it was a reasonable risk.

I gave him a slight nod that I accepted his words, activating my aura again. This meant flipping the switch like I always did, but instead of trying to get a grip on the pulling force, focusing on keeping all of the nen in and calming it down enough for it not to break my body.

It took no effort at all before I felt it switching and flowing in an instant. Immediately the pulling force activated as well, wanting to push all of it out to preserve my body, but I pushed the nen back in, forcing it down, and feeling a bone in my foot breaking as consequence.

It took me a short while; I was able to keep a rib at the point of bruising instead of breaking, but my survival instinct was pushed back completely to be able to keep all of this in. My whole body stood tense, but I could indeed feel the pulling force slowly going back to sleep, thinking everything was still normal. _So all I had to do all this time was stop it from oozing out?_ Well, I say "all I had to do", but my body was under an unhealthy amount of stress.

Very carefully I moved my fingers and wrist. _Will I be paralyzed again after all this, or was that a defensive mechanism of the pulling force as well?_

I blinked in surprise again when after another minute of keeping it in I felt the strain on my body receding. What causes that? Is it actually devoid of danger like this? Can my body actually take this nen by now?

Well, age shouldn't matter, should it; it switches nen, it doesn't increase.

Then why does it feel so natural all of a sudden?

'I've rarely seen you so interested in anything.' I only then noticed my lips had curled up in a sort of delight. _Yes, I like this power, I can get infinitely more strong with this, it's finally under my control._ 'Hmm~ yes, you like the power so much, don't you.' I can't deny this. I felt it waving all through me. Not just protection of Kil until he returns, I can do a lot more for the family this way as well. _I should've been allowed this sooner._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? I knew I'd be able to deliver within the week, I'm so proud of me xD   
> Sorry for the wait though D: I had the flu, and while I was recovering I read the entirety of Tokyo ghoul in a week and suddenly started writing about that (I have good taste in men) and this got a bit behind xD  
> *throws plot at you to make up for lost time*


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'll not twist around it: I've dropped this story.   
> My life has changed a lot, and in the process of that, I'm really not feeling any merit anymore for myself to finish this. I am working on my own business, I am working on writing my own novel, and I finally have the balls to admit that this is gonna be one of those unfinished stories.   
> In the next couple of days I will post the chapters I still had left - I always have a buffer - but after that, it's done. I can take a look at my notes and see how I'd planned to end it, maybe summarize it really short for ppl who PM me about it, but yeah, this saga is at its end, my sincerest apologies.

'Well, you wanted to see how it looked under control, didn't you? This is probably the closest it's going to be to that.' I lifted my hand and absentmindedly snaked my fingers. I can imagine that as a child I wouldn't have been able to get to this kind of control, it had been a good call to push it away back then. I don't really care about what my "natural state of being" is. I'm perfectly comfortable the way things are now. 'It's quite interesting, it feels really different from what we've been working with up until now.' I looked at my hand, focusing the nen in my index finger. Its color is different from the threat of when I go berserk, it really is condensed. Hisoka seemed to be aware that this unknown was not something to take lightly, it's been a while since I've seen him this focused. Considering how much control I'd had to exert to get here, this actually felt less dangerous to me. If it feels different to Hisoka, then I'm still exuding too much though. Maybe not nen, but I imagine my presence is not unnoticeable.

'What's the difference?' He inclined his head, not taking his eyes off mine when I turned them back to him. He looks less curious than I thought he'd be reaching our actual goal.

'It's…' But I couldn't immediately find the right description. It's not more powerful, it's not more focused, it's actually effortless, there's so much less resistance… '…natural and it feels limitless.' The first time I went into a berserk type of mode, had felt close to me having my nen released for the first time; even though my natural nen had felt free in my body at that time, I'd still had to force and train it for it to become efficient – that does not seem to be the case with this anymore. Sure, it took me a while to reach it, but now that I'm here, I feel like I've tamed a beast.

'Not more powerful?'

'No.' I felt a bit mesmerized by the fluidness going through my hand, and moved the nen to the other side without problem. But no it wasn't more powerful, necessarily. Hisoka let out a small breath at my answer. 'You're disappointed that reaching this does not make me more powerful, but I will not have to take the amount of nen I have into consideration – I could continuously attack you with everything I have, and suck up yours as well.' Perhaps it was because it's too much of a hassle to fight this power that-

'I'm not disappointed, not in the least.' I lowered my hand again. Although it did move fluidly throughout my body the way I wished it, I noticed that enduring this state still did not come completely effortlessly. So before it would start dissolving its container, I closed my eyes and let the nen return to its normal state.

'Then what is it.' I took a small breath myself. 'You were intimidated?'

'Just impressed.' Pleasure returned to his voice now that I was back to normal. I looked down at my hand again, but all skin was still attached. If our training before wouldn't have made him reconsider giving this kind of power to Chrollo, then the moment just now would have. 'You may have reached this point, but you still have quite the threatening presence. I don't think you will be allowed to use this on the job yet.' I was right then,

'No question about that.'

'But thank you for showing it to me first.'

'That's not an accomplishment for you, you are merely here the first time it succeeds, no-one in my family has the time to spare to watch me train all the time. You do.'

'Hmph.' He smiled, not being able to deny that. Normally he fills in his own time after all, we actually have a job to do in the end. 'Are you going to—'

'Shouldn't you get to work now to try and get a fight with Chrollo, or do you have more experiments planned? Do you want to fight me in that state now that we're somewhere it doesn't matter if my presence leaks?'

'I think we've accomplished enough for today.' He started moving again, wanting to walk past me, out the door. That was strange. I thought he'd be more excited now that we've reached this notable point. It's really not interesting to him anymore? He's just biding his time until he can come up with a plan to get to Chrollo? Now that we've reached this point, that's all he's thinking about, isn't he; and how to somehow use me to get there.

'No sex? I thought that was standard after achieving a goal.' I decided not to let this go. Our eyes stayed locked all the way 'till he stood next to me. Neither of us inclined our body. He was disgruntled because he'd felt intimidated instead of excited on top of everything – I'd noticed. According to his way of doing, he does not get intimidated by power – no matter how far it would lie above him – he lives for the fight. 'Sensing something that's not necessarily stronger but still feeling intimidated must be hard to deal with for you.' I decided to focus on this. His lips curled up a little more. I lay a hand on my hip, inclining it, keeping my focus on the redhead, 'Or you're unhappy because I feel like a stronger opponent but you won't fight me anymore for some reason. A fight with a strong opponent lasts as long as you're interested – which for our level means to the death. So thank you for valuing my life, but you would lose at this point.'

'My my, are you taunting me?' He pocketed his hands, inclining his head a bit more my way, amused by the situation again.

'Stating the truth. There's no reason for you not to want to fight me but that you like our current physical activities more.' Although truth, I can't say that Hisoka showing an opening like this was unappealing to exploit, so I was continuing it longer than normal,

'Well I _do_ appreciate that.' He refrained from retorting with the same argument as to why I'm not fighting him either, 'Why are you so interested that I'm not in the mood right now, though. Did you actually want to do it right now? Because if that's the case, I can be in the mood again within the second.'

'That doesn't need to happen now.'

'Very well then.' He was the first to break eye contact a second later, sending a silent threat before he did. 'You have to admit though, I'd be dead already if you weren't interested in what we do.'

'You're not dead because I haven't been ordered to kill you.'

'You're taught to eliminate threats to the family as well, that is no excuse.' He did not stop talking.

'You're not a threat to the family.'

'You know I wouldn't hesitate to kill your little brother if it would bring me Danchou, I am not devoid of danger.'

'Are you insulted that it's insinuated you're actually "fond" of something?'

'Are you?' He turned back around halfway when he reached the door. We've reached a stalemate.

So when this utter silence stretched, I decided it to be a good idea to repeat the previous experiment, and allowed this nen to take over inside of me while keeping it in. I saw Hisoka's expression tighten when I did. Considering what happens when it doesn't work, I could understand why. But I am a good learner, and I repeated what I'd accomplished minutes ago.

But there was no focus on containing my presence, all focus lay on Hisoka. He narrowed his eyes at me, and I noticed him putting on protection. Although the nen was contained completely, the threat was grasping all around me, mostly trying to get a hold of the redhead.

'You should go back to Chrollo, there's not much time left if you're still looking for an opening to fight him. Your services are done.' I said with my normal annoyed tone, Hisoka's lips curling up once more, and blinking very slowly before stepping out in the end. As soon as he was outside, I flipped the nen back, noticing it'd been a bad idea to do this twice in a row.

Nothing had been resolved with Hisoka, but he won't be needed anymore from here on – he can focus on Chrollo all he wants now, and I will finally be left alone. Our previous engagement will be in effect again, and I can stop this useless game of "getting closer" to someone. Now I will have all the time I need to make sure I get this nen under control. It's strange that after months of feeling this nen go berserk, that a little trick like that actually worked. Oh well, as long as it's effective.

It's also strange though that I'm the only one showing an inkling to having this – neither father nor grandfather have it, and Milluki doesn't use his nen enough to be aware of this. It's different than Nanika, Kalluto hasn't shown signs of this, and neither has Killua. Or does he merely not show it because his strength has been repressed for such a long time?

I sighed to myself after those thoughts had passed through me. It doesn't matter anyway. If Kil has the same kind of nen inside of him somewhere, it won't be tackled until he decides to stay, and that may take a while.

'Ah.' I blinked and looked down at my lower arm when I felt a familiar sting there. _The bone just snapped?_ That nen is supposed to be natural, isn't it? I guess there's still another stage above this that needs to be reached. I'll just shift this bone back and try again tomorrow. Perhaps I can try a different kind of training later today. With a bit more control and Hisoka off the premises again, I think I'll be able to do a mission again within weeks. I think I appreciate that idea.

Ah, speaking of which, I'll have to keep an eye on Kil if he does his or not. I may have to punish Kurapika accordingly. Knowing him, he won't risk it when he's at such a disadvantage, but he likes to disobey so we'll have to see.

Even with all his distractions, we still reached this point in two weeks though. I wonder how the Kurta will react to finding this out. If he's still alive after torture, of course. Never found out his motive though. He wanted to try and get closer to me? Perhaps he did want to accelerate it. Doesn't really matter with him in the hands of the Spider, does it.

I'll check on everyone's activities before continuing training on my own from now on. After that, it should be okay again to use this nen.

'Illumi.' I stopped when the door opened again and grandfather was standing there. Looks like he's still keeping a close watch on all of this.

'Yes.'

'We're not leaving this room for a while.' He closed the doors behind him, leaving me to wonder what he was planning to do.

All in all though, it was proof that I had indeed reached a significant stage in this training.

* * *

_Well that had been a boring conclusion to an exciting start._

By all means, I should be glad my confinement has ended and I am now free again to do as I please. But to actually come up with status quo after all that effort feels like kind of a waste. On top of that, although I like Illumi more when he's his usual self, I did get the opportunity to play around with him so much more. I'm going to miss that a bit. His need to control me I won't miss, though.

I sat down on the edge of the roof of a tall building in the nearby city and looked out over the scenery, feeling frustration slowly taking over.

I'm going to need to think of something to get Danchou isolated when he's seemingly not even interested in these items, that's not going to be easy. Perhaps the blonde has been let go again, I can push _his_ buttons easily enough…

'Hmph.' I huffed to myself, realizing that I had quite some work to do still if I'd want to get where I want. Pestering Kurapika is not going to get me anywhere at this point…

I do believe Illumi still has a ways to go with his power, but the part where I was necessary is over and done with. It's too bad he realized this himself as well… But he's now able to reach that nen in a controlled manner, it wouldn't have taken long either way before he'd figure out my uselessness in this. To be honest though, I would've liked to know more about this strange situation. I still don't know about the carnage seventeen years ago, nor about the thing that triggered Illumi into cracking again a couple of months ago. Maybe I'll drag that out of him in the future… If he even knows himself, of course.

Yeah I'm sure he's going to continue allowing me to invade his privacy whenever I want…

'You look so lonely.' My eyes opened wider for a second when I recognized the voice behind me. But as soon as I noticed other presences as well a second later, I hung my head again, smiling my answer,

'Well, I'm currently without a playmate, are you here to fill in the position?' After a soft laugh, Danchou decided to come stand next to me on the side of the roof, pocketing his hands.

'I heard you were done with Illumi, and I figured you weren't going to help me at your own volition, so I decided to stop by.' I turned my eyes up while he was talking. He seemed to be having a good time. I can imagine why. All this training with Illumi happened in about half the time he told me to take. Why he'd given that limit is still a mystery though.

'How's the Kurta enjoying his life?' Changing the subject seemed like the better idea, and Danchou was feeling indulgent,

'He decided to give me the location to the second item before his life was forfeit. He's still being detained until we actually have it, though.' Impressive, I surely thought the boy was too tired of life to be susceptible to torture. _You don't care about the item though, what kind of information did you get out of him._

'So you're making me tell everything now so you can call off the search in case you don't even want the effects?'

'I'm able to make you behave a certain way, but I have no illusions that you'll tell me anything useful, no.' I huffed at the truth of that sentence. _Well, you do have something I want, that perhaps makes me a bit more predictable._

'If not for information, then what do I owe the pleasure to?'

'I think you know.'

'I think I do, but what makes you think I'm going to cooperate just as easily as the Kurta?' _Why are you still pretending to be interested in this thing? What kind of game are you playing with me._

'Well, considering you have no contact with Illumi anymore, I'll be contacting him directly. I've heard he actually _does_ have an influence on you.'

'He doesn't exactly trust you. What makes you think he'll give you information on the powers?' Ignoring the obvious taunt,

'I don't need to know the details. I merely need to know if the powers I want to copy to all of us cause life-threatening injury to the owner's body. For that I only have to see him, don't I? I'll deal with you after that.' Danchou sounding amused usually didn't bode well for me, and tonight wasn't any different. _At this rate, I won't be able to do anything fun after all this trouble._

That won't do…

'I wish you luck.'

'You too.' He stepped off the edge, disappearing into the dark. I looked down for another second. He's well aware that my next best step is finding Kurapika and make him cooperate with me…

One way or the other, everyone seems to be eager to be close to Illumi, aren't they. His powers are interesting, I give them that. However, Danchou said to evolve those powers of Illumi's so he would see if the power the items are supposed to give would be harmful or useful…. Wait,

'… …' I stood up when I realized the answer that's been dangling in front of me all this time. I took a deep breath and laughed out into the darkness. _I've been an idiot._

Of course he lets me keep this item. He's not interested in it anymore because he believes he has a chance of stealing this nen from Illumi. He gave me a time limit for "motivation". And apparently stealing it from Illumi is actually safer for him somehow.

My, my, how deviously simple. He fooled me long enough though.

I raised a hand to my lips, thinking up my next step. To know what to do, I have to figure out Danchou's plan to ensnare Illumi, so I think paying a visit to the blonde is still the best idea, but with slightly different questions…

* * *

'What do you want me to do?' I raised a hand in offering, grandfather subtly turning his eyes towards the broken arm I left hanging.

'What else has broken.'

'A foot bone, and there's one bruised rib.' He stopped a small distance away from me, he looked more serious than before.

'No organ damage?' _Against all odds – considering Hisoka's words – no. There hadn't been._ I shook my head. He's evaluating before deciding what to tell me after all?

'Can you get into it without breaking anything?'

'It's a gamble at this point.'

'How much are you still restricted?'

'The barrier is dormant, but it stays that way without effort after-' I raised the hand to point at my head, but was interrupted,

'You haven't destroyed that?'

'…No.' I dropped my hand again. Was he or wasn't he happy with that fact? I take it he would like it that there's still something dormant, there's no-one waiting for me to become the way I was before this.

'Why don't you ask the questions you want to?' I cocked my head. Nine out of ten times that sentence was sarcastic, so I didn't answer for a while. There was silence until he continued. 'I keep forgetting you're the one with the best memory. I'll give you the condition right away then.' I blinked at the lie on his own memory. 'Turn again, calm it down, then ask the question.'

'Alright.' I rubbed over the broken arm to feel it out a bit before resetting it. I also took off my shoes, wiggling my toes to find out where the broken bone there was, but that would take too much time to reset right now.

'Go right ahead.' I focused in the same way again, forcing the nen inside, feeling the bruised rib being pushed out a bit, but nothing new seemed to break this time. I tried to focus on the image of grandfather while I waited for the barrier to go dormant completely again. I felt eager to try and test the limits of this new thing inside of me, it has so much potential, 'It still takes a while, doesn't it.'

'Why can't you renew the barrier.' He grunted shortly when he noticed that during that question, the effort had been taken out of maintaining control.

'The barrier is there for one reason only.'

'So that I go berserk when this other nen surfaces and I survive its effects?' He nodded lightly, 'There has been testing on this before.' He nodded again. 'Why don't I remember.'

'You chose to forget a lot of things back then. But sometimes we force you, yes.'

'What did—' I stopped myself asking what I'd forgotten. This information doesn't matter at all now that I'm at this point. So I closed my mouth again. Continued contact with Hisoka has made me interested in useless facts.

'You're not leaving the premises until you have better control, do you understand?' I inclined my head hearing that order. I wasn't planning to either way, so is he, or is he not happy with where this is going?

'Is there something I need to remember from seventeen years ago?'

'I'm the only one who needs to remember that, don't worry about it.' Worry? Have I been worrying about it? I blinked trying to look back at past words and actions for this. Meanwhile, the power inside me was flowing effortlessly, and in my interest for this power, I temporarily forgot its dangers. 'Have you heard anything from Kurapika and his friends?' I blinked back when the subject changed so drastically.

'There's no need to discuss that, is there. You told me to take care of it, so I am.' He was behaving strangely.

'Have you?' When his tone became more demanding, I did comply,

'It's only been a day since their ploy against me and Hisoka; he's locked up by Chrollo there's no-' When I wanted to raise my hand to explain, I noticed that the duration of using this power had started taking its toll again. I looked down at the broken arm I'd just reset that had undone my work by itself when I wanted to lift it. I didn't feel any strain on it, neither did I when I lifted that same arm to check that it was the same fracture. This was not good.

'I was afraid this was going to happen.' Grandfather took my arm and lowered it again for me, resetting it in the process. I was ready to turn this power off again, but he forbid me to do so. For one of the first times in my life I was ready to disobey. 'If you disengage now, you will only conjure up more broken bones and most probably internal bleeding as well. Let me take care of this.' Have I been activating it too much already? But I've barely had it on like this for longer than a couple of minutes. I need to start working on that next step quickly.

'What will you do.'

'Don't worry.' I took a step back, noticing the strain on the foot with the broken bone as well – it's going for the weak spots first, working its way outward in. The nen flowing through me felt natural, and it didn't feel heavy, but still it was wreaking havoc on my body. _Then why does it feel like it's actually supposed to protect me…_ 'Why are you stepping away.'

'You're going to put another barrier on it now that you can identify the nen itself better than before.' He didn't take the extra step with me, he only lowered his hand and took a calm, deep breath.

'I'm going to ignore that you assumed I was going to do that. But why did you step away when you know it's destroying your body at this point.'

'I will continue training to get that under control, it's supposed to evolve into a shield.'

'Illumi…' His tone changed, I didn't like that.

'I've come this far, I will manage.' I took half a step back again, expanding the threat a bit. I'm this close to unlocking the entirety of this power, I am not letting anyone stop me.

This action changed grandfather's complete demeanor though, he expanded his own nen and voice to a threatening level.

'You will calm yourself down and listen to me before you kill yourself. Training will come another time, I am _not_ sealing the power away.' I still took another step back when he came close. He had little choice in his actions. If he'd simply knock me out, the power would probably break my body too much. If he'd use his nen, my power would absorb it. I don't know what he's planning, but I will deactivate it on my own, I am not- 'You leave me no choice.' I put up my guard even more when he said that - realizing he was most probably going to enforce the barrier - but because I was constantly keeping my nen inside, I hadn't thought of activating my En, and I noticed too late that father had snuck into the room as well. A slew of needles was shot into my body to temporarily paralyze my body, and Zeno got hold of my wrist in the same moment. I noticed he did as I'd thought and I lost consciousness of anything that happened after.

_They're not going to let me keep this power, are they._


	16. Chapter 16

I heard drops echoing in the silence, as they fell into the small puddles on the floor of this dark basement. It felt a lot more abandoned now as I strode through the hallways to find out if the boys were still here. Perhaps it was merely a lack of the presence of any of my toys, perhaps Danchou has been so wise as to move his "hostages".

I stopped and perked my ears when I heard a faint sound not belonging to these damp walls, but it disappeared as soon as I did. After another couple of more silent steps, the sound repeated itself. I took a left turn at my next opportunity, and was now fairly certain that I was indeed not alone. I had my senses perked, but I felt no hostility in my vicinity. Not even traps seemed to have been laid to keep me away. It's as if something has been left here as a means of a present for me.

I smiled and raised a hand to my lips enjoying this little game again now that there was a slight opportunity for success.

I activated my en as soon as I started getting closer to the slightly open door at the end of the hallway where the sounds seemed to be coming from. Activating it also told me that the boys were no longer being held captive here, and either released or used for other purposes.

The one behind that door seemed to be the much expected present though.

I stopped and nudged the door open with the tip of my finger, staying in the doorframe for a couple moments longer to let my eyes adjust to the increase in darkness in this room. Not only darkness though; now that there was a visitor, Kurapika seemed to have regained his will to fight as bloodlust oozed out of him. He was chained to the floor, seemingly drained of most of his nen, all his limbs still attached. He sat crouched over on the ground, shakingly holding himself up on his arms.

But even slumped through his shoulders and with cuts all over his upper body, he made it perfectly clear that he was not about to let himself be stopped now. His head slowly rose, illuminating the room with his scarlet eyes, challenging me to take one step closer so he'd have a reason to kill me.

 _You are_ extremely _motivated;_ all you've been doing is for elimination of the Spider again, isn't it.

I took his challenge and stepped inside the room, causing him to stumbly push himself up to his feet. It took a good couple of seconds before he managed, and stood there panting, his eyes flickering back and forth as his body protested the use of any kind of strength. _I know Feitan could've done a lot worse than this, they've gone easy on you, haven't they._ They really don't care what happens to him, they feel like he has no chance whatsoever to put a stop to their ploy. So the boys are most probably being detained elsewhere, aren't they…

I waited patiently until he decided to speak up first; I focused my eyes back on his,

'I'm going to tell you what's happening, and then we're going to strike up a deal.' He was barely able to huff out the words, but the determination resounded nonetheless. Leaving Kurapika here almost seems like a challenge to stop Danchou now, even though their only goal is to stop anyone from intervening…

I narrowed my eyes in interest, and licked my lips. _This is about to become_ very _interesting…_

* * *

When I opened my eyes again, all I could see was a dark, blank ceiling, and I felt restraints binding me to a cold metal table. I tried moving all my limbs before finding out that I wasn't going anywhere. I couldn't even turn my head to look around me, but I recognized the room nonetheless. I've spent a lot of time here myself, but usually I am the one looking down instead of up.

'Why am I in the experimentation facility?' As soon as I spoke those words, I remembered the state I'd been in before losing consciousness. I don't know how I was subdued, but apparently not without a fight if I was in restraints. I wanted to move my fingers, but even those were tied down. They really wanted to keep me in one place, didn't they. Have they done anything to me?

'For your own good.' I heard the voice of grandfather over the speaker, and I turned my eyes up to it. I begged to differ on his judgment.

'If you'd let me take care of it for another minute I would've been able to-'

'You would've been dead, you idiot.' I could hear the annoyance in his voice, but it wasn't the same as his anger from before. 'It's not hard to imagine why you're in this room, is it?' I turned my eyes back to the blank ceiling. 'We had to fix internal bleeding already. Another minute would've fried your brains.' _Huh…_ That doesn't bode well on me being allowed to use it again, does it. That won't do.

'It doesn't seem to be a problem when I try it for a minute, perhaps every twelve hours. In that minute I can-'

'You're going to stay here and recover until we figure out what to do with you.' _Recover?_ That means they've kept me slightly crippled to keep me in one place. No, this won't do at all.

'You're going to lock me up like Alluka after all?' There was a short silence on the other side. The only reason I'd ever thought of that I hadn't been locked up back then, was because I was the first-born and they didn't know yet what to do with something like this. So once there was a barrier and I got more cooperative to training, they decided it was safe to let me become an Assassin for the family. When they encountered a similar problem with Alluka, apparently they decided it wasn't worth the effort again though, considering they already had three capable sons.

But with the way I'm defying their wishes by wanting to keep this power, and to them not showing signs of being able to control it or being willing to seal it away, they're reconsidering, aren't they.

It must feel like a big threat to them if they're considering locking me away, with how much I do for this family.

'We'll talk at another time.' The low buzzing sound of the speaker being on disappeared right after those words. He must've known that no argument was about to convince me otherwise. What else is there to make of this situation? I can understand that they're worried about me perhaps endangering the family with this nen, but they have too little faith in me. In two weeks' time, I was able to get to this point. With another week of the training I mentioned, there's no need to worry whatsoever.

Have I been at this point of control before though? Is that why they're panicking like this? That from the experiments seventeen years ago they've concluded nothing has changed and that they need to figure out another way to subdue it all.

They're still underestimating me then, and I feel slightly insulted that they are. They should know what I could mean for all of us being able to control this nen.

When I let out a small sigh with that thought, I noticed that the internal bleeding they'd talked about had been my right lung. It feels mostly alright, but it's probably just one of the small injuries they've left on me to make sure I'm not going anywhere. It's not often that they do something like this. Usually we're just trained to keep going, even with these disadvantages.

They know this, they're anticipating on the fact that I'm able to get out of this room, and they won't have made it so hard that I'll be forced into using that nen. When they said "keeping me here", they meant these premises, and they're convinced they can coerce me into staying before I'd leave.

They also know that of this entire family, I am the most familiar with this room and its facilities.

First things first. I'm going to leave this room and visit that training place where I first went berserk. This gap of information in my head needs to be dealt with.

When moving the fingers on my right hand, I felt that they hadn't used the strongest binds. With a little force I'd be able to get my fingers free. After that I can dislocate my wrist to free my entire hand, and so on. They're probably keeping a constant eye on me though, so all this won't succeed unless they don't care if I make it out of this room or not. But once out of these binds, it shouldn't take me longer than a minute to reach those training grounds.

'… …' I brought my fingers into position and took a deep breath before holding it and swiftly started up the process. One after the other I noticed I was capable to undo these binds, and the sound of clicks and tears echoed together with a crack here and there from my own body. They left more on my body unhealed than I thought they would. When first able to stand on the floor again after freeing my legs, I noticed the broken bones in my foot and realized I'd had to mainly put pressure on the other for the run. Being like this, they indeed don't have to worry I'll escape if they don't want me to.

I didn't wait to realize this and made my way up to the mansion, and out unto the grounds again without trouble not caused by my own failing body. _If I got further in this training seventeen years ago, I need to remember in order to progress._

* * *

'Do you want to be unshackled first?' I casually pointed at the blonde's restraints. In his normal doings he wouldn't have any trouble getting rid of that himself, but he's not exactly feeling a 100%, is he.

'I'd say yes if you weren't joking about it.' I laughed a little hearing the fight in his voice. Because of this, I decided to help him after all.

'My, how the roles have been reversed, haven't they.' With a couple of casual steps I was right in front of him, looking down a second.

'You were still butthurt about when I visited the Zoldyck's property?' I laughed again feeling amused, before I lifted his wrists with my hands around the cuffs. I applied just enough pressure to break through them, but not the blonde's wrist. The chains attached to them clanked down hard on the floor together with the person formerly chained to them; his cry was louder than the metal meeting concrete.

'Did I apply a bit too much pressure after all?' He looked back up at me in anger, cradling his hands. Those were not broken though, 'They really wore you out, didn't they.' He'd been cuffed very tightly if his wrists looked all worn like that already.

'Just take care of my feet as well.' I shrugged off these musings before complying. His ankles seemed to be in a better state. 'They backstabbed me as much as I wanted to backstab them, I got off better than I expected.'

'They backstabbed _you_? That would imply a cooperation.' I sat down, laying an arm loosely over my raised knee, eyeing him with interest after that little message.

'You didn't even come to that conclusion? You really were distracted playing with Illumi, weren't you.' _You and Danchou seem to be enjoying the same game here._ He shuffled back to find some support from the wall. He carefully grabbed hold of one of his ankles, massaging the sore area. He probably doesn't have enough nen at this point to heal that, does he.

'Was he the one who provided you with someone to take care of Illumi-kun's nen inside of you then?' He laughed tiredly at the statement before giving his exasperated answer,

'He didn't help me with anything. I had to call in a favor outside of the association for that.' He stopped looking at me in favor of focusing on his limbs. Mah, I guess that's not important anymore anyway. 'You _do_ know that he's planning on stealing Illumi's nen, don't you?' I huffed when I nodded in answer, 'It's because those items you've been hunting are useless artifacts.' I raised a brow hearing that. _Useless?_ 'Before I continue, I need you to help me with one thing.' He let go of his legs, stretching them out in front of him, looking up directly at me, 'For Chrollo to fail at stealing Illumi's nen, I need to get Killua back from him.' I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to put the pieces of this puzzle together enough to give the answer that would bring me the best outcome. If Danchou is going to use Killua-kun to persuade Illumi, there's but a very small chance he's going to fail. On top of that, with how far Illumi now is with his training, it won't be a problem getting him off the Zoldyck property to employ any kind of plan.

I wonder how he's going to gain enough trust from Illumi to actually steal his power though. Or is he going to work on getting him desperate again? With how cracked his mask is at this point, it wouldn't be impossible, would it. I didn't exactly work against that, did I…

'Not a problem.' If there's one thing I can trust about this boy, it's that his intent to get rid of Danchou is not something to be taken lightly. He wouldn't care who killed him, as long as it would happen. Mah~ I guess he _would_ appreciate being able to give the coup de grace himself. I'll have to keep a look-out for that a little. 'Are you now going to tell me how you know those items are useless.' I can't say I don't feel irked about having chased those if they don't serve any purpose.

There was silence from the blonde for a short while, absentmindedly he was tending his wrists. Even though he's not in a position to say no to any of my requests, doesn't mean he likes being at my mercy like this.

I do like this side of the coin a lot more though,

'The first rumor about those items was that together they'd be able to copy any power from one person to another. This without deleting anyone's nen. I found this out while looking for leads on the Spider, they were looking for these things themselves.' _No, I can imagine you wouldn't want something like that to fall in their hands._ 'I got to them first though, and after several tests found out the rumors were nothing but nonsense. Unfortunately the Spider had been too close behind. I was captured together with the items.'

'You're developing a nasty habit, then.'

'Shut up.' He started coughing for a bit. Well, he probably hasn't had any water for a day, has he.

'Pray tell, what bargain got you out that time.'

'After they found out as well that the items were useless, I told them about Illumi's other nen.' My grin dropped a little. _This was all before Illumi contacted me…_ 'Unfortunately yes, I'd seen it before. There was a short period of time where I kept my eye on him when he was on a mission, hoping he and Chrollo would have contact again. During one of those missions I was witness to that berserk nen. Chrollo seemed to be interested in stealing this power.'

'But it was still unrefined, and you decided it would be a good idea to let me take care of that?' I inclined my head a little. I really have been pulled along by their strings, haven't I. Well, all is forgiven if I do get my reward in the end.

'I was let go in order to help getting Illumi to train these powers.'

'Why did he think you were interested in helping him with this?' I lay my head on my arm, giving him an interested look. He looked away though, not wanting to answer.

'… I was going to use Illumi to take care of Chrollo.' He answered in a softer voice. _How very interesting… that's a lot less difficult than what Danchou's planning, isn't it._

'So you were the one to create the circumstance in which the clients of you and Illumi were pitted against each other?' _Because those were the perfect circumstances to bring me into a more intimate contact with Illumi and his nen._

'Well, there needed to be a plan to fool both you and Illumi. So yes.' _Right from the very start,_ 'I started the rumor that the items could give you a power, got employed by both clients, gave the collector the items, and then pitted them against each other. I recommended Illumi be hired by the toy collector after that. Those were the best conditions to get you involved and interested. Because for some strange reason you're the only one Illumi ever contacts for favors. Everything from there you can deduce for yourself, can't you.' After half biting the last sentence to me, I had to agree.

'Thank you so much though, for that elaborate explanation.'

'Tch.' He bit back at me again for mocking him. Really, I would've been satisfied with just half the story. He really needs my cooperation.

But Illumi becoming the plaything of that toy collector would most certainly cause the conditions needed to antagonize that nen. _Then after seeing the nen firsthand, Danchou must've been convinced completely…_

Then all that "cooperation" with the head of the Spiders to get hold of these items has been a very elaborate play, hasn't it. All he did was use me to develop Illumi's power because for some strange reason Illumi-kun let's his guard down a bit when around me. Apparently I have a little as well around him.

I guess having leverage on the blonde for healing hadn't been necessary after all then, if his goal was to evolve Illumi as well. So much unnecessary effort…

Naturally, simply telling me his plan wouldn't have made me very cooperative, no. Neither would it if Danchou would've told me. I'd have been content with my previous engagement with the Assassin, and Illumi's power would've remained the same. _I'm apparently not the only one enchanted with it that Danchou went through all this effort to steal this treasure…_

'He couldn't take care of it all by himself?' I asked to get confirmation,

'He was a little preoccupied with getting his nen back.' Figured as much.

'Then the boys were telling the truth, weren't they, you were just trying to get closer to Illumi-kun.' He gave a slight nod,

'Are you satisfied now?'

'…For now.' I flashed him a smile again, pushing myself off the ground. All this time I've put into maturing our precious Illumi-kun, and all these people wanting to use them for themselves now, how selfish of them. 'I guess even I was no match for the combined intellect of you and Danchou.' This means Illumi's indeed been having outbursts from before our little engagement started, as I'd thought. I do hope he'll be able to put his mask back on after spending so much time breaking it. 'Now then, do you want me to carry you out of here?' I got a growl for that,

'I'll manage, thank you.' He used the back wall to stand up again and first took a couple of careful steps before finding out that walking was still doable. 'I'll just need some food and water, and a couple hours of sleep. After that you're going to help me find Killua.'

'Understood.' For the state he was in, he took confident steps past me to start the journey out of this depressing environment.

After getting hold of Killua and making sure Illumi and Danchou don't get too close, I'll look for my opportunity to isolate him. I'm quite looking forward to that moment.

I licked my lips again thinking about how close my prize was suddenly getting.

'Do you actually have a plan to retrieve the boy?'

'I'm aware of the net Chrollo's laid out these past few weeks, so yes.' _That was most probably a lie._ However, I know even less. So I still think I'm going to stick close to him though, else Danchou will fall into _his_ hands again. I don't feel like repeating that scenario.

I turned on my heel to follow the Kurta out of this place.

Danchou must be feeling really confident he's going to succeed if he left this blonde present here for me.

_What are you planning right now, I wonder…_

* * *

This… is not what I expected.

I was somewhat surprised that I hadn't been followed, that I wasn't being accompanied. There were no eyes on me for as far as I could tell. Not even when I pushed the doors open and I noticed they'd been recently been opened before.

Stepping in though, I didn't need to turn on the lights to realize what was in there. I know that smell.

Still I stood silent next to the switch as I flipped it and I could distinguish parts of humans in various states of decay being scattered all over the illuminated part of the space.

This was not necessarily an unfamiliar sight to me. What I did notice when I started stepping through them, that I recognized the types of wounds. Have I been going berserk without being conscious of it? But I don't recognize any of these corpses, and if it happened here it should've been done with prisoners…

I bent down to pick up a partially eaten head, and gave it a longer look. Considering Hisoka's words, this _could_ be from seventeen years ago, couldn't it.

I inclined my head before dropping the one in my hand.

 _Everything not eaten doesn't get absorbed, it gets spilled and materializes again._ That's what he said. If that's the case, then apparently it's impossible for them to ever decay beyond the point they are now. I can't imagine my family would leave this room like this for any other reason.

That means that abandoned place from a couple months ago probably looks the same now, doesn't it. I raised a hand to my chin, realizing that there had been several reasons I've been prohibited from using this power. I can't say I like the idea that I've left such an obvious, permanent trace somewhere… That nen doesn't feel at all like me though, so no-one but the currently involved would trace that place back to me.

I decided to keep walking, looking around once to notice the head I'd dropped, had rolled back to its original position. _Not even changing location?_ That explains why it's all still here. I've never been prohibited to visit this place though, at least not to my memory. Apparently it didn't really matter if I'd come here or not. I don't know then if coming here will help me at all.

Oh well, while I'm here, might as well take a look at the whole place.

I shrugged it off while stepping through some puddles of blood in between the pieces of human. This berserk mode is really insistent, isn't it. Mah, I guess it's just a consequence of that nen, apparently no barrier could undo _this_ effect.

I made my final step to the switches for the backmost lights, looking out at it as it lit up the rest step by step.

 _Corpses… corpses… corpses…_ I have to say I'm impressed, I don't recognize some of the wounds on them. Can I use more types of techniques when using the nen, or is that an effect of the berserk mode? I'll find that out as well. I'll have to learn to eat everything though, because leaving a massacre like this as a permanent mark is unacceptable. Well that's motivation to develop myself further, isn't it.

My eyes glided up to the back wall, my hand lowered to my hip before I stopped my line of thought seeing the corpse suspended there.

 _I do_ _recognize_ your _face…_


	17. Chapter 17

_What is the meaning of this…?_

Usually at a time like this, grandfather would appear and guide me through it one way or the other. But for some reason, at a point where I'm being watched more than I've ever been, I'm left to figure it out on my own.

Well, it's not that I don't know what's in front of me…

I blinked, snapping myself out of it for a moment. There was no reason to be distressed at all, this actually explained a lot about seventeen years ago.

I lifted my hand up to the leg, the only part reachable from the ground. Even the warmth at time of death was preserved. Her countless wounds indicated I'd taken my time torturing her, enjoying it bringing her to her death.

_You were the reason I went berserk back then._

I lowered my hand again and took a small step back to take a better look. Why am I feeling uneasy about this, I actually got rid of a gap in my memory. Inclining my head, I figured it was probably because I was remembering things I felt back then. I don't like being uneasy about something when there's no reason to.

'You shouldn't have empathized with me, you should've known better working in this household.' She'd trained me for a bit longer than a year. But before she started, I was given this barrier when my family noticed the harmful nen inside of me. Considering I need to keep my mask up for that barrier to work, her empathizing with me hadn't exactly helped getting it under control. I was doubting everything back then, being pulled back to where I feared everything simply because she cared, of course I did all this to her once the defense of the barrier was forced to ignite. I have no memory of her whatsoever from after that first berserk moment. I also had no problem anymore putting the mask on.

And it's good that I did, it has assisted me in having gotten all this power today. There's no limit to my strength anymore.

Why did I never come back here afterwards though… maybe they implanted a subconscious order to me for a change. Mah, at this point it didn't really matter anymore if I'd go to this place or not, would it, no use in forbidding it anymore. It's still strange to me that all these bodies have been here for seventeen years. When I develop this nen further, I'll have to make sure to absorb everything, because this is an abomination. There has to be a way somewhere to keep a steady flow of the nen without it triggering the dormant barrier.

I took another small step back, kicking a stray leg to the side. _You would've been better off dying from Alluka._ From most others, to be honest. You'll just be hanging here for eternity now.

Thinking about my little brother at this point didn't do my state of mind well though. I'm going to be forced to seal this nen away, or they're going to seal _me_ away. It's only because the nen trace I leave is unlinkable to me unless you actually know about it; but too many dangerous people already know about it, don't they.

I let out a small sigh, but that didn't take away the uneasiness either. _Am I going to continue training this, or am I first going to build my mask again…_ If I don't want to be locked away the latter is the better choice.

Will I still be able to train this nen with that though.

'… …' I decided to leave this place behind before the nagging feeling would actually get to me. I turned off all the lights, closing the doors behind me to leave it behind. A couple months ago, I found this place again as well, didn't I… that's what started cracking the mask. Without the mask, the barrier needs to resolve to berserk to control the nen. With the mask there's actually no effort to it… apparently putting the mask on again didn't work anymore, the barrier can't be renewed; I will be kept here until a new barrier can be placed. They've given up on their gamble that I can control this nen.

If they're giving me free roaming though, I know what they did to limit my moving space. I was probably out for longer than I first imagined.

I took a small sprint away from the mansion, making a full stop when I noticed the first signs.

_They placed a proximity chip in my brain._

As soon as I move further away than they calibrated, a shock will be given. Although I can withstand the small shocks, unless I can remove it before I'd cause myself brain damage, I will not be able to move away. Knowing them, they made it an erratic pattern so I won't be able to localize the source either.

There's one flaw in it though - and I only found this out recently - it's that as soon as you get close enough to the midpoint from where this chip is controlled, you will feel a small shock as well. This way I can find it, and either destroy it, or take it along with me.

I turned back around and headed to the mansion again at a leisurely pace.

The only obstacles remaining for my escape, are constantly being watched and my current physical limitations. Considering that though, it's only a matter of time before I'll be able to break free. For now I'll just return to my-

I was surprised by the ringing of my phone. I'd taken that along when escaping the mansion. In hindsight I can understand they don't care about me having access to it. They're probably not limiting me too much to prevent I'll use that nen to try and escape.

I kept walking when picking up, even more surprised when my phone identified the caller on the other side.

'Kil! You're calling for your mission?'

 _'…Yes.'_ I hadn't expected him to contact me again, let alone keep up the charade of wanting to do a mission. Apparently he's more aware of the consequences if he doesn't uphold doing it; whether he thinks himself part of the family or not, he bears our name.

'That's good to hear. I have an assignment for you then.'

* * *

_Well at least now I know what these "other activities" have been Danchou's been so busy with._

I let go of the neck of the corpse and let it fall to the ground.

Me and the blonde hadn't wasted any time in trying to get inside the Spider's network; as soon as the Kurta had woken up the next morning, he'd healed himself and we'd set out to try and find Danchou's precious bargaining chip. Although the thought crossed my mind to simply follow Illumi exiting the mansion to Danchou's location, I really do prefer finding the Spider alone.

By the start of the evening though, we were still not closer to finding out where Killua-kun could be. We need to work a bit more efficiently than we're doing now if I want to succeed.

I got a call a second later of Kurapika asking for an update, and him wanting to send me to the next location. I stopped him before he could though, because this was all wasted effort. He should be aware.

 _'Do you know of a better way to actually catch him then?' Well, if your actual goal right now was catching Illumi,_ you _would be on the way to the Zoldyck mansion, wouldn't you be._ I walked to the window to first disappear out of this building before giving his question a little more thought. There's a lot of unpredictable factors weighing in at this point. Although searching the Spider's network is the most surefire way to _eventually_ find something, I don't feel like we have the time to make this expense.

There's only one thing I can think of that would perhaps make sense to give a try. _It's still a gamble though._

'Well, I don't think Danchou's going to have a lot of say in where his "deal" with Illumi will take place.'

_'He's going to use a plan to lure him out with Killua, you really think Illumi will pick a different spot and risk having his little brother killed?' Well, that's the unpredictable part of this,_

'I think that twisting his arm with Killua-kun will make him behave differently than Danchou believes he will.' _Especially with the way he is now._

_'We don't exactly have the manpower to cover all the places Illumi might go to meet Chrollo, you'd have to be absolutely sure about this, and I don't believe you are.'_

'Do we have the manpower then to cover all these "possible" places the boy might be then? I think we'd be better off looking at the places Illumi-kun might escape to.' He knows it's more efficient, he just doesn't want to do it because he doesn't want to give me this power of taking control. He won't say no, though. In the end, both saving his friends and the death of Danchou are more important to him than actually doing any of that himself.

_'How are you sure Illumi will go to these places? And how exactly does that help me get Killua back?'_

'Illumi-kun will most certainly demand Killua-kun will be brought back to him, you just have to keep lookout on the one location, perhaps lay a trap here and there.' Would Danchou give the boy back before or after stealing powers though… Of course, there's no way Illumi would still cooperate after getting his little brother back; not with how possessive he now is over his power as well.

Having to keep hold of Killua will make Illumi more volatile though…

'You will be in the advantage when Illumi forces Danchou to move anywhere.'

_'I'm realizing this, but it's still a gamble as to which location it's going to be. And they're not going to arrive at different times, neither is that stupid.' Well, that's true._

'Would you rather keep searching randomly like this then? You know just as well what the better option is.'

 _'… …'_ I let that sink in with him for a second as I started moving to one of the possible locations already. Because although cocky at this point, Illumi-kun's instinct as an assassin to keep himself hidden is still stronger – he'll pick a location he knows that's far away from any of the surrounding dangers. That means it won't be anywhere his previous missions where I was at the location after, neither at the location where he did his mission for the Kurta.

No, he will be somewhere he believes no-one will be able to disturb him but still has attachment to him – I know where to look. He'll be too focused on avoiding the places he used his other nen before, I'm certain of it.

 _'…Give me the location.'_ He sighed the words. He knew that the moment we parted ways to look around, he lost all power over me. He hung up immediately after I told him the lie. He'll probably come to the same conclusions as me eventually, but I like the head start.

'… …' I stopped and looked down surprised at my phone as it rang again immediately after ending the call, but the surprise made way for joy when I recognized the caller. _Well, well, you're actually interested in contact? What a plot twist this is…_

* * *

 _'Can you give me the details then?'_ I leisurely kept walking back to the mansion while sifting through the possibilities for Killua in my head. I didn't think he'd really be serious about doing this, this is a good sign.

'I'll send the details after this conversation.' I was a bit surprised that he'd been released by the Troupe, but I don't think they were very useful for very long anyway.

 _'You're allowed to do this?'_ I stopped a second, placing a hand on my hip,

'Why wouldn't I be.'

 _'I heard about everything, I doubt they'll let you do anything.'_ The Kurta had been talking then,

'You think you have a better understanding of the situation? You really need to re-learn a lot of your old lessons.' I started walking again,

 _'Well, doesn't matter to me anyway. It only helps me if they're locking you away like you guys did with our little sister.'_ He was taunting again. I decided to hang up when he did. I didn't like it that he mentioned Alluka. I haven't been able to make a difference large enough between me and him in my head to get rid of that uneasy feeling. Although I was still quietly texting Kil the details of the mission, the urgency of leaving and perfecting this nen was starting to take over. _Why won't they see what kind of asset this could be._

Perhaps it was easier to leave now before surveillance would get their full attention, or they learn of gaps in it before I do.

'… …' None of that mattered anymore the moment I tried to send the message, but I got an error saying the number didn't exist. '…Hm?' I tried sending it again, and to different numbers associated to Kil, but none were connecting. Although the prevalent thought was that he'd been forced to make the call before he was denied any further communication, I first decided to contact someone else to check if it wasn't me. I took a small breath before putting the phone to my ear. I didn't even have to say anything,

 _'It's only been two days, do you miss me so much already?'_ As soon as I got that confirmation though, I hung up again. This means Killua's still being detained and was forced into this action by Chrollo to lure me out. He doesn't know about my current situation, he should've believed he could've just come by to copy whatever he wanted, I wouldn't have cared. That he's luring me out in a violent way like this means he needs me away from these premises, and he's not willing to waste time waiting until I take another mission again. That also means that his original "plan" is off the table.

I picked up automatically when the phone vibrated in my hand, and heard Hisoka's voice again.

 _'To what did I owe the pleasure of that call?'_ He's on the outside again, so he may have information for me. He'll want to prevent Chrollo's death, so I take it he prefers no contact between me and the head of the Spiders. He'll help.

'What's Chrollo's real motivation.'

_'Hm~ what's in it for me if I give you this information?'_

'I won't kill you.' I really disliked the uneasy feeling having been fed with uncertainty concerning Kil's situation.

_'So tempting…'_

'Ah, and maybe I won't kill Gon either.' The short silence following was clear enough to me. There's no use for games at this point, the situation will progress quickly from here on.

_'Always holding that over my head, aren't you. I thought you didn't kill unless you were ordered to.'_

'I am willing to make the exception.'

_'You really are desperate.'_

'I can carry it out in less than a day.' I sighed the words, waiting for Hisoka to get in the "mood" to comply. Meanwhile, the decision to find the control device and get away was getting closer to being made.

_'Maa~h, no need to get violent, it's really simple.'_

'What is it.'

 _'The items are useless, he simply wants to steal your power now that it's developed.' He'll be disappointed at the ease of use at this point._ I still raised an eyebrow hearing this. If he plans on doing this, he's going to have Kil hidden very well.

'I wish him luck with that.' Even if he has Kil hidden, he doesn't believe he can coerce me into following all the conditions to give him the power when I can defeat him with it, does he?

_'Where are you planning on meeting him?'_

'You're going to intercept him?' I cocked my head, quickly realizing that having Hisoka there wouldn't do the situation good. 'I will take care of him on my own when I feel the need, there's no use for you.' I hung up again before he could give an answer. Chrollo is smarter than this, he will have something else planned as soon as I respond. Either way, there's a good chance Kil is going to be killed after his use is over – him and his friend have caused enough problems for the Troupe already by now.

I stopped completely for a long second suddenly realizing this. _Why didn't I figure this out when I saw them in captivity days ago?_ I really have become this focused on myself, haven't I. Developing this power has been doing unwanted things to me.

I raised my hand, looking at it after the long second of silence. Suddenly a part of wanting to get rid of it started developing, and that was a bad motivator for getting Kil back from him. _I need to get this nen under control completely so I can use it against Chrollo without killing myself, and to do that I will need to get out of here._ I'll also need someone to heal me completely if I'm going to do this, that I will also only find outside.

I took a small breath when I lowered my hand again, realizing there was only one call to action that I needed to obey.

I took the first step with full intent on making sure the strings pulling on me were going to be severed. That means taking a calm walk back, doing what I always do when at the mansion for a longer time, and casually find out where the control device is with information privy to only me. I'm glad it's highly unlikely anyone has it on him, considering they go out for missions too often for that, and they wouldn't place it with someone as physically vulnerable as Mil. _I will be out of here in less than half an hour, and Chrollo will pay._

* * *

_Well that was interesting._

Something is already going on with Illumi that he called me. Danchou is already setting his plan in motion. Although Illumi-kun didn't sound impressed yet, he's hardly in a stable state of mind, it's going to be taken advantage of. I can't have that happening. It's too late now to intercept Illumi at the mansion though…

I made sure not to waste any time getting to where he was most likely to show up. With any luck, Danchou will be the first one there…

* * *

_I'd been right._

I was still slightly surprised to find out all of my calculated assumptions had been proven correct. I would almost doubt their authenticity were it not that I was sure I'd simply done everything right. I noticed surveillance following my movements here and there, but I'd been able to suppress a reaction to being close to the control device, and I knew of its location now. There hadn't been put any guards on it, knowing that would only make it stand out, and I'd be able to get rid of those without problems anyway.

It was, however, in a room with high density walls. I'd need to activate my normal nen to get in there. Considering that would set off everyone on guard right now, I would have to get out of here quicker than I usually do. That means there's only one option, and using the other nen in this broken state is a risk. Although with it I could be out of here in mere seconds, am I going to survive those couple of seconds, and will I be far away enough not to be hunted back immediately?

…. Reluctantly I had to admit there was one option that could guarantee my escape, but that would mean continued involvement from the redhead, and I don't want him anywhere near me anymore while training this nen further. The best chance without Hisoka, is to get the nen in its desired state within a second, and then use it as a shield to remove myself from here. As soon as I'm outside these premises, I'll contain it again so I won't leave a trace.

I sat down in a chair in one of the nearby rooms, waiting for a couple minutes until there were less presences around me. I already noticed that the only one here still of danger to any of this, was grandfather. He's constantly keeping one eye on me.

He's observant, but I don't think he's aware that this actually _is_ a risk I'm willing to take. He's been too uninvolved with the happenings outside to know this. Not even he is aware of everything. _You've given me_ too much _freedom in roaming around._ I traced back if he could deduce my actions while monitoring my phone, but that's safe.

I waited until he was at a reasonable distance, before I stood up and pretended to walk back past the designated room.

I kept myself completely silent as I turned the corner and kept my eyes straight ahead, ignoring the nagging buzzing sound the control device was causing in my head. This was a harmless buzz, so I ignored it completely.

It was the second I nearly passed the room, that everything happened at once.

I activated the other nen, but it took longer than a second to get under control. Meanwhile I felt grandfather's presence closing in on me, but a split second before he hit and contained me with his attack, I'd subdued the nen and put the shield up around me, absorbing most of the impact; it still pushed me through the wall, breaking my arm once again, but at the very least I was in. I absorbed as much of his nen as I could while I destroyed the device by crushing it and partly absorbing it as well, and cut myself loose from the grip he had on me by pushing through another wall and out of the mansion. I didn't know yet what kind of extra speed this nen would give me, and I hadn't expected to indeed be off the mountain in about five seconds after destroying the device. I kept going after passing the gates, giving one extra push when my feet hit the ground. After that I was forced to deactivate the nen as I felt it trying to push out of my body with too much force.

But as soon as I did and wanted to continue with my normal nen, I crashed. The turn back, it seemed, had been too hard, and I temporarily lost control over my body. I fell down in the trees, and crashed through them to the ground. It took a while before I actually stopped with the amount of speed I'd had. In the end I just used my already broken arm to claw into the ground and put a stop to this. I took a deep breath when I did, quickly assessing if I would still be able to move, but the damage in itself seemed to be manageable. It had only been the simultaneous wounds happening at once that had caused the fall. There's no internal bleeding, the breaks are not through in my legs, I'll be able to carry myself to a healer easily enough like this. I'll just find an anonymous one, I'm not going to use the Kurta like Hisoka did.

I sat up on my knees and moved my hair to the back. I let out another small breath. I will notice the consequences to this disobedience once I get back, first I'll have to fix everything out here while it's happening. Knowing grandfather, the injuries I have now will be nothing compared to what he has in store for me... I have no time to contemplate this, though, I have to lose my trail before they pick it up and I'll have wasted my lead.

But as soon as I wanted to stand up again, I was interrupted by my phone ringing once more. I looked down to see it was grandfather already. He's trying to track me now? I'd think they'd first try and catch me before switching to that. Either way it means I need to get going fast.

I put the phone in a hole in a tree, and stood up without the use of my arms. There's a possibility they've put another track on me, I'll have to find out as I go.

I looked around me, trying to assess my whereabouts. I will have to take a roundabout route to a further city for a healer to avoid being too predictable. After that I know of a good, desolate spot where I won't be bothered. Neither Hisoka, Chrollo or my family have been there before. I will stay there for 48h trying to get this nen a bit more under control before going after the thief.

I cracked the bones back into place that would otherwise become inconvenient and started off in a set direction.

Apparently though, I was still one step behind.

Because a couple seconds into my journey, I was teleported slightly to the side which forced my attention on handling the situation without hurting my body even more, and I was taken out by surprise a short second later. There wasn't even a transition of consciousness, I blacked out immediately. Hisoka told me about this, there's someone I know that can use teleportation like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have up 'till ch19 still to post, after that I will start to make a short summary for those interested


	18. Chapter 18

The first thought after that dreamless sleep was that I didn’t appreciate being knocked out. Especially not at a point like this.

But the first inkling at sitting up to take care of the one who’d done this, disappeared when I turned my head to the side at the sound of a familiar voice. I blinked a couple times to get the blurriness to disappear, and saw that I’d heard correctly.

‘You’re an idiot, just so you know.’ Kil looked away again when he noticed he actually got my attention. I first took note of my surroundings before doing anything else. This looked to be closer to being a mansion than an abandoned building. It was well lit, it looked clean, but it was most probably emptied and this room isolated.

When I let out a small breath in realization, I noticed something else as well – the wounds on my lungs were gone. I stood up, checking the rest of my body as well, but it was clear soon enough that I’d been healed. I looked back down at Killua sitting on a couch, but he refused to give me attention at this point. I had to wonder though,

‘Where’s Gon.’ I cocked my head, seeing how tension increased with him. He leaned back against the backrest, casually folding his legs underneath him, but his hands nearly choked the blood around his ankles.

‘…Who would even fall for this. Now we’re all fucked because of you. Would I actually call you to hold up to a deal we both knew didn’t exist?’

‘Did they kill him?’ I ignored his annoyance to get a straight answer, but I only got silence. Well, that’s not important anyway. What’s more important is that I actually got healed, and I could start training that nen at any point. The only thing I need to know is where Chrollo actually is, if I have the time. Unfortunately my only source of information is not feeling communicative.

I decided to help that a bit.

I walked the couple of steps towards him, making ignoring impossible. I crouched down in front of him, looking up. He was slightly trembling at this point trying to stay in one place, most probably.

‘Where is Chrollo.’

‘How should I know.’

‘Do you think they’ve left Gon alive after you meddled with their plans so often?’

‘You’re going to use that to make me talk?’

‘The only reasons for not killing you or your “friend” up until now, have been me and Hisoka. How long do you think they’d still care about that considering the actions they’re taking?’

‘They like mayhem, not interference.’

‘That’s an argument both for and against what you’re pleading. It would take them no trouble at all to kill either of you, and they’re good at hiding from Hisoka. Tell me, where is Chrollo and why are you defending him.’

‘I’m not defending him, I just don’t care what happens to you.’ I sighed deeply while standing up.

‘I think I’ll kill Gon myself then after this.’ That boy is a good bargaining chip for both Kil and Hisoka, I think keeping him alive will help me in the future. Perhaps I won’t kill him after all.

‘Fine!’ His voice trembled a little when he raised it. Kil’s stubborn, but not to the point where it would actually disadvantage him this much. It’s never been hard getting him to talk. Now even less so because he’s unsure about everything. ‘I don’t know where Chrollo is. All I know is that I can’t get out of this room, and communication to the outside is impossible. It was probably his plan to annoy you like this so you’d develop that nen even more. I don’t know how he’s planning on stealing it though.’

‘Does he come back in regular intervals?’ Although Kil is probably right about the nen part, I’m still going to kill the Spider.

‘Of course not.’ _Then there’s no reason to wait with this training._ I need to find a way to continuously flow this nen without losing it. If I can create a loop around me, it should do the trick. As long as the barrier believes I’m able to contain my nen, it should work.

When I activated it this time, it took me less time to calm down than in the mansion. It felt like it was reset to the point where I first activated it. I could keep this up for a minute easily enough. Shortening the time to calm it down does help.

I took a step away from Killua when I noticed he’d relocated to the farthest corner of the room. It probably is a good idea if he’s not too close.

After that step, I shut everything else out though. I only have one minute per try. I closed my eyes and turned inwards completely. I could feel the barrier still being present, but not doing anything yet. I might have to break that completely if it’s going to interfere.

I let out a small amount of the nen, circling it around and back into me, keeping up the flow, preventing it from leaking. There was a small protest from the barrier, but as soon as the loop had circulated a couple of times, it went dormant again. So when that seemed to work, I tried to use it without breaking the cycle. However, that part didn’t go effortlessly. I can’t use it by ejecting it from my body. Luckily, the biggest strength is absorbing, and secondary is attracting or rejecting others’ nen. So I can work around this limitation.

The time limit was reached soon enough though, even while looping it. I guess I need to loop a larger amount. Perhaps if I loop it in a shield around me that it will keep from doing my body harm.

 _This is the slowest training I’ve ever done, with only doing a minute every couple of hours._ Putting even this little in a cycle had greatly helped keeping the strain from my body though, I don’t think I’ve broken anything this time.

After all the training I’ve done to get to this point, I think that was the easiest step I’ve taken so far. Point is though, that refining it will take time – I realize that too much. Maintaining a full-body shield in a cycle will take effort, and making it a natural behavior will take even longer.

So then the choice is between crushing Chrollo the way I am now, or simply keep refining it.

Considering I was placed in captivity, Chrollo is most probably aiming at allowing me to refine it.

I took a deep breath opening my eyes again, making the decision immediately – he wants the power completely trained, I can survive attacking him with the way I am now, I’m going to wait for him.

‘… …’ I could feel the hesitance from Killua as he started moving again. I followed his movements as he warily sat down on the couch again. I’m not surprised it scared him if even Hisoka got apprehensive at being witness to it. I’m not unaware of the increase in abilities if I use this correctly. I can’t say I’m not curious about training it further, but I’ll refrain for now.

‘I’m in control, and it’s not activated now, no need to be scared.’

‘I’ll judge that for myself.’ I shrugged it off before sitting down in a chair on the opposite side of the room. I’ll save my strength in anticipation of what Chrollo has planned. ‘I’m surprised you didn’t ask about him wanting to steal your nen.’ I cocked my head at him while he shifted in his position a little.

‘I knew from the start he wanted it, why would I ask about it?’

‘… …’ That was a look I was unfamiliar with. It looked like he wanted to judge me, but he was reluctant. What is there even to judge--- ‘Why in the hell would he kidnap you and risk being attacked just to take a look at your powers? Of course he’s gonna steal it.’ I shot my head back to its upright position when he mentioned this, and I realized I’d overlooked something _that_ obvious. I’ve been so preoccupied with keeping this nen that I hadn’t seen the biggest threat to it. ‘…You _really_ didn’t know, wow.’ He muttered under his breath. I felt a bit more motivated to try and find a way out after all.

I activated my en, but somehow it was limited to this room. _What kind of nen has the Spider stolen for all these odd effects._ I stood up and lay my hand against the wall; there was indeed a strange nen disturbance covering it. Activating my own nen close to it caused an irritation, but I still attempted to power my fist through it.

All that happened though, was a reverberation through all the surfaces covered, on the wall itself nothing had happened. The irritation on my hand lingered for a while after as well.

‘Brute force isn’t going to work, my nen didn’t work on it either. Maybe that strange Berserk of yours will.’

‘It’s not “Berserk” nen. The thing that made it that way was the barrier in place to contain it.’ I answered while looking around the space a bit more, testing on the surfaces here and there, keeping watch if there was a place where there was no ripple, where there perhaps was an opening.

‘I don’t really care.’

‘There’s a possibility you have something like it as well.’ There was a small shock before he replied,

‘I wouldn’t know, you guys never trained me in anything nen.’

‘It’s not hard to deduce, is it?’ I turned my head back to him when I noticed there weren’t any holes in the nen surface; _leaving now won’t do anything for me anyway,_ ‘I’ve developed this naturally, Alluka has something similar, it’s possible you have something alike yourself.’ Although the subject of Alluka irked both of us, I saw it sink in with him. His answer was a short-term one though.

‘I’m not making myself a target for the Troupe as well.’ I shrugged it off. Once he returns, experimentation on that will happen anyway.

For now though, Kil seemed to have made the right assumption about the situation; all we can do at this point is wait.

Chrollo will appear sooner if I train this nen, but his motivation for stealing will be lower if I don’t. Considering I already missed something so obvious even Kil picked it up, I will choose the second option.

I sat down across from Kil again, looking in his general direction, simply waiting until the Troupe’s leader would decide to show himself.

_Do I attack him immediately? Or do I want information first?_

No, we’re beyond information. _As soon as I notice this nen barrier retreating, I will attack._

* * *

 

_Time is running out, isn’t it._

I stood up again from my vantagepoint to take another look around, expanding my en as well. Although I was pretty sure that this was the place Illumi would go to, he wasn’t anywhere near yet, and it’d already turned the next day. There’s no way he’s not already on his way, I may have made a miscalculation; it’s either that, or it’s the blindspot I currently have for Danchou’s plan to get Illumi to cooperate.

 _How is he going to use Killua-kun for this plan of his? Illumi doesn’t get more cooperative if you threaten him like this._ No, the only way his little brother will come in handy, is if he can force a situation where Illumi would use his other nen and almost kill the object of his obsession.

‘… …’ That’s actually not unthinkable at this point, is it..? Being the way he is now, his usual cold logic is failing him, and he will want to kill Danchou simply because he’s being pulled around, and for kidnapping Killua-kun. _He will momentarily forget his little brother and endanger him. After that it wouldn’t be hard to convince him to give up his power…_

That’s counting both the Zoldyck are captured though. There’s still several plausible scenarios… however all of them account to Danchou dictating the location – Illumi doesn’t have that kind of control anymore.

Which means that staying here will do absolutely nothing for me.

I frowned at the sight in front of me. I wasn’t anywhere ashamed that I’d been fooled by the blonde and Danchou, but my one chance slipping by again wasn’t sitting well with me. _I have no way to deduce where he’d lure my little toy, what am I supposed to do at this point? Hope that Illumi still has part of his sanity and will be in a good enough state to take control over the situation?_ If he does, he will still most certainly come here. But I highly doubt an Illumi that’s been pulled along will react with sanity against Danchou who’s been in control for the duration of all this the entire time. No, I need to think of a way to find out where that Spider is.

‘… …’ I had to wonder who it was calling me at this point when I took the phone out of my pocket. _If it was Illumi-kun asking for help after all, that would be grand._ However the number was unknown, and I answered it silently.

 _‘Is this what I let you on our property for?’_ I blinked a couple times, realizing the one on the other side of the line. _Was the universe helping me a little after all..? ‘Where are you?’_ Hello to you too, Zeno,

‘Why would you like to know.’ I said playfully, but considering the timing of Illumi’s oddities and the tone of his grandpa, the situation was most probably dire. _Good, that means my chances are increasing._

 _‘I’m going to give you Illumi’s location. Do whatever you want there._ ’ I blinked again, that I was simply given this courtesy. _The universe really does like me, after all._

‘What if I—‘ But he hung up on me at that point. _This really is dire, isn’t it._ Well, if it leads me to Illumi-kun’s location, it will also lead me to my dear Danchou, so who am I to refuse?

There was still the off chance that Illumi was headed here and that this was used to lure me away though. He hadn’t sounded like he was scheming, but he’s a senior Zoldyck, his tone won’t tell me if he’s lying.

I threw the phone up repeatedly and absentmindedly trying to make my decision. _If Illumi is already in Chrollo’s hands, then I’m being deployed to help take care of the situation, because Zeno alone will not be enough to handle a berserk Illumi_ and _Danchou._

_If Illumi is still roaming around and about to meet me, there was absolutely nothing to worry about, was there? I wouldn’t be called for that._

I didn’t really have the time to think about it more than that, so I waited for the location to be sent through before going on my way.

Knowing Danchou, he does have a solid plan to make Illumi give up his powers, and I simply won’t have that – _that way both of you lose my interest. That would be a shame._

Well, at the least I won’t have to worry about the blonde interfering anymore, do I _._ That’s one less uncertainty in this highly volatile situation.

* * *

 

With all the parties involved, I hadn’t expected waiting time would be long either way – after all, not even Chrollo will be able to ward off everyone involved. Even if he has a nen-like shield surrounding this room, up ‘till the point where I was thrown in here, I have probably been tracked. I know of not a single instant where only one measure was taken to keep track of someone – I’m certain the device implanted in my head does more than just keep me in one place.

And even if they were somehow able to take care of that during my transportation here, there will have been a short moment of transition where that measure was lifted to get me in here.

Although I have to admit if the Spider really has planned this so meticulously, that my location will be known to no-one.

They don’t want to underestimate my family, but it’s hard not to, considering keeping secrets is one of our better trades.

Taking all that into account, I won’t have to wait for longer than a day. With all his plannings, he won’t risk it for longer than that. So he hadn’t expected me to train it further either way, did he. _Why did he heal me then?_ I don’t need to be in top-shape for transfer of power, do I?

That one thing I didn’t understand, and it irked me. I need a complete grasp of the situation, this won’t do.

For a change, Kil seemed to be relatively calm under everything. That must be my presence then, the assurance that I will be able to take care of the situation. Although I appreciate that trust, he will have to take care of himself.

‘How are you planning on taking him down?’ He stood back up off the couch after two hours of silence. Apparently he’d been thinking about that himself.

‘There’s no preparations that can be taken, you know this yourself.’ I replied absentmindedly, Kil leaving my line of sight. Chrollo is unpredictable, I don’t know where his priorities lie at this point, so devising a plan is moot. The only thing I can anticipate on is keeping both of us alive and cripple him enough to get out of here; and if there’s the opportunity, I will kill him.

‘Sounds like he’s ahead of you.’

‘Of course he is.’ He seemed surprised that I admitted that so easily. ‘He’s the one that started all this, and I’ve only just now found out that his motivations are not what I thought they were, it’s hard to be a step ahead of him like that.’ I turned my head when he blocked the light of the window, casting a shadow over me.

‘So you’re saying he’s ahead of you because you were an idiot?’ Although he had his back turned to show confidence, he sounded unsure. I don’t really get why he’s trying to provoke me though.

‘He’s ahead of me because he played in on something I was unaware of.’

‘On a weakness.’ I took a small breath, realizing Kil was too tense to talk to me like he normally did, and decided to just go back to the silence. ‘I thought we weren’t allowed to have “friends” or “exploitable weaknesses”.’ Kil had different ideas about that.

‘It became exploitable because of father and grandfather’s actions, and Hisoka is not my friend.’

‘No, that much was clear.’ He muttered almost inaudibly, but in the silence of this place, it was hard not to hear everything.

‘But of course we’re not. That’s why I’m working on getting rid of it.’

‘Hisoka or your weakness?’ He liked saying that word today, but he still didn’t face me. He sounded hopeful about Hisoka, but,

‘I shouldn’t have to say that.’ No matter how annoying he can be, Hisoka has good networks. I’m not getting rid of him.

‘Then you’re gonna let Chrollo take that nen? I don’t think our family will be happy about that.’

‘You misunderstand again. I’m just taking care of the ones who know about this “weakness”.’ Ultimately that was enough to silence Killua with. He knows that that means I’ll be taking care of his friends as well. The Kurta knows too much, but although this Gon is unable to keep anything to himself, he’s too convenient to use as a bargaining chip. Kil should know _he_ is “safe” until I deem him unusable.

‘To at least do _some_ preparation for when he comes, what do you plan to do when he arrives.’ He did turn around when he asked that. More determined, but still unsure.

‘If you don’t know what to do, just take the farthest corner so you’re---‘ The situation was interrupted in a split second by the shielding violently disintegrating, and sucking the both of us with it to the center of the room. I was barely able to evade Kil as he was hurled further, and I switched to finding out who’d made this change in the situation. _Now that the room was open, Kil will flee._

When I didn’t find this out as fast as I wanted, I assumed a surprise attack from the spider and acted accordingly. Activating the other nen in a split second by now, I didn’t like the notion of having to keep it inside for control, so I chose not to subdue it’s attacking power and trust in the extended time-limit.

I felt the barrier activating, but it was overshadowed by allowing it to fully extend it for the first time. The range shot further than anticipated, but I did turn around sharply and threw a slew of needles in the direction of where I’d noticed someone move away. _Is this the full extent I could use if I’d train it some more? Why do they even want to lock this away?_

When there was no further reaction from the direction I attacked in, I was ready to focus the full range to it, but that would leave me open too much, so I decided to wait this out.

Calmly, I let it grip all around me, feeling no pressure anywhere in my body but the barrier wanting to push me over the edge. But it was so far away that the time-limit didn’t feel like a limitation anymore. Going berserk at this point wouldn’t even be a bad thing, I would go for the nearest living thing, and that’s my enemy.

I extended my nen to long, snake-like fingers, feeling around that direction, but there really wasn’t anything there anymore.

‘…!’ I was startled when the floor beneath me disintigrated, forgetting that right now I was most probably dissolving material into nen at an alarming rate. I made sure not to land on the floor below, but considering I was using the other nen for keeping me up, that wouldn’t hold out long either.

I moved along over that floor, using the nen as a ball of shield around me. I should’ve been contemplating what to do, but the grip of that barrier on my consciousness was starting to tighten quickly. The decision of going or not going berserk was slipping away at this rate. I was trying to care about it, because it wouldn’t do me any good if I’d burn myself out before I could take care of Chrollo.

What it took though, was exiting the building, and seconds later setting my sights on the man right in front of me. _He had shown himself voluntarily?_ Instinctively I extended the nen his way, but he evaded with a little trouble. At that distance it’s hard to assume greater speed than him. But he held up a hand to stop before I would take the fight to him. I wanted to ask him why, somewhere in the back of my mind, but I didn’t even open my mouth. The only thing that remained of the question, was my passiveness. _The berserk side was less than a minute away now, this needed to be decided fast._

He took that chance to speak up himself,

‘Did you forget about your companion?’ He pointed behind me with a casual gesture, and I immediately realized my mistake. My eyes slowly opened wide as I instantaneously deactivated the nen. As soon as I touched ground, I pushed myself off it again, back to the partially collapsed floor. When I couldn’t find him immediately, I already started assuming the worst – that I’d absorbed Kil completely – but I was saved from that fate when I saw his body on the floor below after all.

I quickly made my way towards him, but the last steps went very, very slowly. _I may not have absorbed him completely, but he’s in a worse state than I’ve ever put him in._ His upper skin layer was almost completely gone, and at some places it had gone further than that. _I can’t fix this, he won’t heal this by himself, what am I supposed to do? How can I undo this? What do I need to do to let it seem like none of this had happened? This isn’t going to kill him, I have to make sure it doesn’t. He can’t die. He can’t die. He can’t die. He can’t die. He can’t die. He can’t die. He can’t die…_

I noticed I started trembling a little.

_….can he…?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember, I actually looked forward to posting this so much back then xD


	19. Chapter 19

_Anyone in a ten mile radius must've felt that._

I stopped in my tracks when I not only felt Illumi activating his nen, but doing so without any restraint. I felt reluctant to continue in that way, but I still did – because if he's _this_ out of control, then it won't be hard for Danchou to do something to him. _You're not a brute force fighter, Illumi, you really don't have the strategies for it, and especially not when you're like this._

At a slower pace I continued, full-well knowing that what I'd find there would be a berserk Illumi, and I would be taking away his only chew toy. _I will not be in a favorable position._ I do hope that Zeno is indeed planning on appearing. I think I can admit I will need the assistance.

'… …!' Another nen presence alerted my senses, and I turned my head to it just in time before an attack would hit me. I stopped dead in my tracks once again, bending back and turning back up when it was safe again. A moment later, my attacker showed itself from the shadows. _Well, seems like Danchou prepared very thoroughly, didn't he…_

* * *

I couldn't lean down, I couldn't move to take him somewhere, I couldn't lift a hand. There was an extremely weak breathing, and he looked so fragile that I was afraid of breaking him should I even breathe on him. _I can't… this isn't my fault, I didn't do this…_ My fingers flexed and unflexed trying to make a decision that I couldn't. I had to force myself to blink so I could keep an eye on him.

'Are you really so sure you'd like to continue on this path.' I focused on the background where I heard Chrollo slowly approaching. He did keep his distance when he stopped. 'I've done my own research on this nen of yours. There's only a slim chance you can actually use it when you're in your normal doing. Because when your mask is up, the barrier will be too strong, won't it?' I tried to focus on anything except what was right in front of me, but my world seemed to have shrunk to just that. Still, after a moment of silence, Chrollo continued his statement. 'Do you believe your family would remove this barrier for you? Could you convince them after everything that's transpired? Will you even be allowed outside anymore after this? Do you even still want that barrier removed for something like this?'

_Where can I find someone to heal Kil? Who is nearby? Where am I in the first place?_

_You don't have any communication with you._

_I'll take Chrollo's._

_But who will you even call? The Kurta?_

_Yes, the Kurta! He will want to save his friend at all cost, that's a good choice._

_Did Chrollo even leave him alive though? What if he's dead, what other options do you have?_

_There's none. I can't do anything either way without knowing where I am._

_But to find this out, you'd have to move away from Killua._

_There's nothing I can do just standing here…_

'… …' I stopped my shallow breaths completely when his breathing hitched. But luckily they continued.

_You need to contact someone fast, take Chrollo's phone..!_

Slowly I was able to turn my head, but my eyes still lingered on Kil, as if their gaze was the only thing keeping him alive.

'I'm starting to get the idea you first want your little brother healed, don't you. That's not a problem, within a minute, I will have someone here. He's on standby, should I make the call now? He doesn't seem to be in a good condition.' It was starting to get to the point where my shallow breaths were starting to blur my vision, and sensation in my skin was pulled away. _I don't like_ this _fading of consciousness either._ 'I think you know what needs to be taken care of first, don't you?' I tried blinking to regain some of my vision, but it was still blurry. 'It will be hard to get what I want when you're like this. Perhaps I should let my stand-by make sure your little brother survives just a little longer? Would that make you more cooperative?' My heart started beating even faster, and I held a deep breath when it got through to me that there was help nearby that could cure the situation. _Kil won't die, of course he won't die. He can't die, I've always made sure he wouldn't die. Why did I even think he would die._ 'I'll make the call then.' His lips upturned while he took a couple of steps back before making the call. My eyes turned back down to the curled up thing having to represent the successor to our family. There was a lingering smell on him because of what I did to him…

'…!' I jolted when he whimpered shortly, but he soon went back to his "normal" breathing pattern. _You will live. You will live. You will live. You will live. You will live. You will live. You will live._

* * *

'I should've known that the one pulling the strings would leave one surprise or the other.' I casually put my hand on my hip, following her movements as she stayed at a distance, placing herself between me and the place where Illumi's nen seemed to disappear. I take it the whole perimeter is surrounded by the Troupe, that will be a hassle. And of all members, I encounter someone who will not – under any circumstance – let me through.

'And I should've known that you'd show up again. But the boss said no tresspassers, so you're not getting your chance this time either.' _Machi's eyes look so deadly fierce when acting for her beloved Danchou._ I couldn't help but feel delighted at the sight of that, but my goal lay elsewhere, and right now she was blocking that path.

'What could I possibly do to convince you to let me through?'

'… …' She merely glared back at me, tightening a string between her hands. _If Danchou really is this keen on stealing Illumi-kun's ability though, why the deadline._ I smiled back at her, getting ready to find an opening to slip through.

'It's too bad I don't really have the time to play with you now that you're giving me the courtesy.'

'You think this is a fight?' My smile dropped again, but she didn't continue. Instead she stood motionless, waiting for me to make the first move. _So this is how it's going to be?_ Is there a time-limit I should be aware of though. I know Danchou has to fulfill conditions, but does that have a time-span? Could he have them fulfilled already? _Aaah~ this is no good, I'm losing my opportunity._

I stopped dawdling, standing ready to get rid of her one way or the other.

But we were interrupted the moment I activated my nen. _I hadn't thought that stealth was still a requirement at this point, but perhaps it had been…_

* * *

'Feeling a bit better?' I took a small breath at the taunt in his tone. Chrollo hadn't lied; a minute after his call, someone had arrived to take care of Kil. But he also hadn't lied about not taking care of it completely. Although further from the brink of death, he still couldn't be transported without dying. Considering Chrollo's meticulous planning for this scene, I wasn't going to get the opportunity to get someone here without giving him what he wants. After Kil had been slightly healed, and the healer himself had retreated a little again, I'd started to calm down a little. I do realize this situation happened because it had been planned to go this way, for Chrollo to convince me to give up this nen. The problem lay with the fact that I hadn't counted on losing that much control. And it hadn't come out of nowhere.

I was now contemplating my options again as I knelt down besides Kil.

If I give him the nen, I will be unable to ever use it again; I will give up all the progress and power to a highly unpredictable and already strong opponent. On top of that, he doesn't have the barrier to worry about. He can use the nen the way I just did without any consequence after – this is not a good thing if he decides to use us again afterwards… of which there's a large possibility, considering he will have succeeded once. There is no good reason to give him the power.

However, if I don't, there's consequences as well.

I wanted to reach out my hand to Kil's head, but refrained from it in the end, stopping just above his head. _I'm not touching him until he's safe for transport again._

If I don't give him what he wants, he will let Killua die, and I can't do anything against that. As soon as I lay a hand on Chrollo, he will make sure Kil dies instantly – it would be a battle of speed. However, considering he once survived fighting father and grandfather at the same time, I will most probably not win that battle.

As soon as I activate the other nen, he will have Kil dead as well.

If there's anything that's not allowed to happen, it's that.

He understands this perfectly well. There's an added opportunity because of that, that he planted something inside of Kil that will trigger unless deactivated by him. _Considering that, there's probably a time-limit on all of this._

I'm still a step behind.

The only thing I can count on at this point, is outside help. Although it doesn't sit well with me, it's better than nothing.

_I do not want to hurt Kil again like this, but giving_ you _this power is bad as well._

There has to be a way to use this nen without having my mask lowered like this, isn't there? Surely if the barrier is removed that should be an option. _I don't think my family's willing to do that anymore though._

I took another small breath when I noticed the even breathing again, and no more whimpers or hitched breaths. It was still shallow, but more manageable. We have a little time…

'I can tell you're a little more open for reasoning now, so I'm guessing you're aware of the situation?'

'I am.' I stood back up straight, Chrollo sitting down on a small elevation created by the rubble,

'So what's your conclusion?' Admitting defeat out loud was still hard, but I reasoned with myself that I would merely be stretching time to wait for outside help.

'My family will never remove the barrier after this, no matter the progress. You can have the nen.' I heard his pleased huff. He didn't believe a word of it, did he. Having my intentions this readable is highly uncomfortable.

'No matter your reasons, I think it's good if we get started then, don't you?' I turned my head back to him, waiting for all this to start.

Although there were all kinds of mixed feelings about this, the fact that I had them in the first place displeased me enough to be able to cooperate for now.

'Alright.'

* * *

I jumped out of the way when another attack came our way, but Machi did the same. _An unexpected visitor? It wasn't the blonde, was it?_ But before I'd lose my opportunity, I advanced past Machi, leaving the surprise to her.

Unfortunately she hadn't been immobilized by it, and I was forced to dodge her again.

What did make me stop this escape though, was when I heard she was being forced down by this surprise attack. I looked back, trying to discern which of my two _allies_ was behind me. Because if it really was the Kurta, then I had another problem…

Before I had the chance to discern is myself though, I heard a familiar voice, and my lips turned back up.

'I didn't call you to dawdle, get going.' _No, you called me because I'm the other family members are unavailable,_

'Yes sir.' I greeted him before taking up a little more speed. Help for Machi from other sides won't come, they have to uphold the net, so from here it should be a clear path. Although Danchou probably calculated that I'd be helped by someone of the family, predicting the direction from where we'd approach was impossible, so defense is strong, but thin.

_It still isn't impossible others from the Troupe will react to his happening though… plus it will be hard to have an isolated fight with Danchou with everyone around…_

While still advancing, I started calling my other ally after all. _At the very least, you'll be a good distraction to them._

_'You've finally decided to give me a real location?'_ Of course, he picked up immediately.

'I think I have some information you might appreciate.'

_'Not that I believe you're actually letting me near anyone I want to, but where can I go.'_ He sounded exasperated, but willing nonetheless. Well, something is better than nothing, isn't it ~

'The whole Troupe is here, better come prepared.'

* * *

'Don't need to answer that?'

'No need for you to worry about that.' I mentioned the soft buzzing sound coming from his coat pocket. But although taking note of it, he didn't pay any more attention to it than that. Considering the current situation, it should- 'I know you're waiting for back-up of sorts. You can try to delay this if you want. However,' Instinctively I went on-guard when he made a couple quick movements, but took that away again when his intention was clear. I turned my head back to the head of the spiders having placed himself in between me and Kil. _I was careless._ Now he most certainly has the advantage. '…as much as I can heal your little brother, he is in a fragile state.' For a second he made sure I'd notice his killing intent was really there. Unnecessary considering the situation,

'I already told you I'm cooperating, what do I need to do.' I replied as casually as possible. I doubt Chrollo's going to be obvious about the conditions he needs to meet though.

He casually pocketed his hands, the healer behind him sitting down more comfortable, keeping more watch on Chrollo than Kil. Chrollo not reacting to the one notification on his phone still most probably means that he's set up a double barrier though – that he won't react until the second message. _He'll have the entire Troupe dispatched then._ I'm sure grandfather will be able to make his way through if he's indeed put a second tracker on me, but Hisoka will not make it on his own. This is troublesome.

'Hmph.'

'…?' I cocked my head in question at that huff. However, he disregarded it in favor of actually setting his plan in motion.

'Tell me,' I turned my body with my head, 'This power of yours, it was quite harmful at first, wasn't it? Resolved that yet?' _I'll be careful what to tell him if he insists on "casually" talking._ I'm not sure what I need to tell him for him to meet a requirement though.

'Ah, I was in the middle of taking care of that.'

'Is that part of the barrier, or is it the nen itself doing that?'

'You want to know if the information's even relevant to you? If I hadn't gotten this barrier, I wouldn't be alive, you make the deduction.' If I merely keep insinuating all the information, does that negate what he needs? If it's too obvious though, he will still hurt Kil…

'What _does_ cause the harm to your body then?'

'The density is too high.'

'Density? Doesn't it merely switch places with your normal nen?'

'It's a more concentrated nen.'

'If that's the case, you can just continuously keep a part of it outside of yourself, can't you?'

'Ah, that's what I figured as well. It's a bit tricky with the barrier though.' He keeps telling most of the information himself, how does this condition of his work?

'You didn't seem to have a problem with that barrier just now?'

'It's less of a problem the more I let out. In the end it _will_ activate because of the stress on my body though.' He shifted weight when there was a seemingly second signal coming from one of the Troupe. But still he didn't really react to that. _He has a third defense then? Or has he slighted personalized the signals?_ If he has, then the difference was too small for me to notice.

'You seem more interested in what's happening out there than I am.' _Of course I am._

'Does it matter.'

'I guess it doesn't. It's good to hear that without the barrier there's a way to keep the nen from harming you though. You really don't want to keep it?' Taunting me again,

'The way I need to use to contain it means I'm highly visible. It's not exactly going to benefit me.'

'Not even as a last defense?' _Another taunt._ He tilted his head back slightly, gesturing to Kil laying behind him. That taunt worked better though. Because although I'd used my best efforts, I'd still almost killed Killua. Even when I get this nen under control, I really do need to allow this other side of me that desires the loss of what I've built up all these years. A part of me still wants to keep it, against all logic. _Although it's not plausible, I want to use it, I want to test it, I want to develop it, I want to explore the true power behind it._

'It only serves as a defense to myself. I can do that well enough already.' He shrugged it off, continuing immediately,

'Is there anything else you can do with this nen besides dissolving everything around you? Because you left behind an interesting scene a couple of months ago.'

'It's already regenerated?' I inhaled, realizing I'd just voluntarily given away information. I saw his lips rise a little when I did.

'Yes it has. But a lot of wounds did not simply belong to dissolving the flesh, is there anything else that happens?'

'You're interested in the extras?'

'I want to know what I'm taking over from you.'

'You're taking your time getting that information.'

'I'm not worried about time.' _That's false._ He threatened to hurt Killua if I wouldn't cooperate. Apparently the way I'm giving him answers is effectively stopping him from progressing. 'But any extras?' Instead of telling him, I switched to that nen, putting him on higher guard. However, my control is not nearly high enough to be able to hit him but not Kil – even with my normal nen he would still simply dodge, wouldn't he. When he noticed I wasn't attacking, he huffed pleased and sat down right in front of my brother. I shouldn't underestimate his deductions, this is someone who made it out alive after a fight with both father and grandfather. _And even then he'd been interested in trying to steal their hatsu._ Meaning he believed he could've created the opportunity, and he hadn't been fighting for the kill – he'd been playing to get something extra after already stealing another's nen.

I suppressed mine, creating the loop around me so I wouldn't hurt my body, and held up my finger, extending the nen there until I'd created a separate needle, pointing it at him. He didn't look remotely distressed though. He's most probably able to dodge the attack anyway.

So I absorbed it again, switching back to normal. I fell a couple centimeters into the ground the nen had disintegrated. I stepped away from that before it would most probably put itself back together. I still don't know how to discern what's been absorbed and what's not, though.

'Without a contract?'

'I'm not a conjurer.'

'It really had a physical form, hadn't it.' I gave a light nod.

'That's-' This time he did halt his sentence when he got another message. _How many people on the outside are actually trying to find their way in?_ Not just that, they need to be strong enough to bypass someone of the Troupe; there are not many of those. '-that's very interesting.' He ignored it anyway. I'm not the only one who hadn't expected this amount of people trying to make their way in. 'Looks like a Specialist's ability then.' I gave another nod. He gave me a slightly longer calculating look after that. No matter what kind of defense he's put up, he's gotten three messages in a short span of time. He's recalculating his possibilities.

That means he still doesn't have all the information he needs. Good.

It still didn't take him long before he decided to activate his own nen, and raised his hand while summoning his Skill hunter. _Was he somehow able to meet all the requirements after-_

I raised my own hand when he threw it at me, not understanding in the slightest why he'd-

'…!' I threw it back immediately, realizing he'd played in on my instincts and probably just gotten another requirement. Somewhere there was the "hope" that I would have to hold it for a certain amount of time, but his soft laughing indicated otherwise.

'Don't worry, it won't bite. Just wanted you to know where your hatsu's going to end up.' I squinted my eyes a little at him for that obvious lie. I was constantly in the conflicted state of trying to hurt only him.

'Are we done?' Right after those words, another buzzing sound was to be heard. He let out a deep breath, but it was obvious he was happy with the situation. _Did he get that nen? I should-_

'Well, it seems that's the end of it.'

'…?'

'I'd like to thank the both of you for doing all this work for me, I'll be sure to keep in touch.' He gave a small signal to the healer behind him to help Kil along a bit more. Keeping close eye on both was impossible though, so I kept eye on Chrollo casually walking past them, his back already turned. He knows I have to wait until he's a certain distance before I can take Killua to safety.

Before we could reach that point though, we both felt a known presence approaching rapidly, and sharply turned our heads to that direction. However, as soon as Hisoka appeared, as quickly did both Chrollo and the healer disappear. I rushed to take a hold of Killua and extended my En to search for the opening Hisoka had created to take care of the most important part first.

I still had to be careful picking up Kil, but as soon as I had him firmly in my arms, I disappeared from this half-disintegrated building, making myself scarce in the woods. _With all those calls Chrollo has gotten, there should be enough distraction to leave unnoticed._

* * *

Right away I noticed he was leaving to where there were still others from the Troupe. At this point I could only guess if he'd been successful in getting what he wanted. _Illumi's passive look hadn't looked promising though._

I need to find a way to cut off his path one way or the-

I had to come to a sudden stop when Danchou decreased his speed considerably, allowing me to do what I'd wanted instead of making sure I wouldn't get the opportunity this time either. I looked down at him standing on the ground, seemingly merely waiting for me to come down. _I don't think "odd" has a strong enough meaning to this._

Still I made my way to the ground, taking a couple casual steps towards him so we could make eye contact. A second after we did though, he huffed and got out his phone, seemingly sending a message. I raised an eyebrow and inclined my head, not sure what was going on with him.

'Is it something interesting?'

'Just a second.' He actually waved it off. I cringed my nose for a short second, feeling slightly insulted that my presence was taken so lightly, when he very clearly made sure to make a quick exit. _You'd already been walking away though… this does not bode well._ 'You brought more friends than I figured you would. I thought you prioritized getting me alone?' My lips raised again when he put his phone away and made contact with me again.

'Well, that's not going to happen anyway, is it.' _I narrowly had to bypass the second line of defense as well, we're not going to be left alone, not even if he'd tell them to stay away._

'No it's not.' This time I huffed,

'Still, why are we standing here, then? Are you planning on capturing me?' He shortly laughed amusedly before responding.

'That would be useless with someone like you, wouldn't it.' I shrugged, agreeing with that, putting a hand on my hip and inclining it. The situation was still odd though.

'Then pray tell, to what do I owe the pleasure of your single company?'

'You've developed a sense of humor.' _So that's a no to the explanation._ Before I had the chance to be disappointed about that though, my eyes opened wide when he activated his Skill hunter and I saw the book appear in his hand, flipping it open.

'So I'm a test subject, am I?' I didn't want to say it, and it was to be heard in my voice. _I really don't want you to be able to use Illumi-kun's nen._

'I didn't think you'd need a reason.' _If you're going to use that nen, I'd rather spare my life and leave though; the odds will be too crooked if you have it._

'Well, apparently I _am_ still able to surprise you after all.' His smile grew a little when he raised his hand with the back of it turned to me.

'For my sake, let's hope not too much.' My eyes opened wider again when I noticed what he was doing. _That's not good._


	20. Final

I watched as I saw Danchou forming a yari out of his own nen, materializing it, but still keeping it a part of him. _I know that ability._ I grunted displeased at the sight of that, seeing him trying out the weapon a little, before taking a casual fighting stance with it. _There's something off, but it doesn't take away that this puts me in a disadvantage._ I've seen this ability of Illumi's up close, he's able to summon whatever he wants at instant speed. All this without a conjuring contract, and without being forced to having more than just a clear image of what you want.

'It seems I really _can_ summon any type of weapon, using this.' Seeing my reluctance to engage him in combat, he decided to do another test. Without absorbing all of the nen again, he reformed the yari to a short sword. 'Very interesting.' The way he was using all this seemed a bit too "giddy" to me though, so I squinted my eyes, taking a closer feel to what was going on. 'I take it I can also alter parts of my body to my advantage, using this.'

'Seems you're happy with the work I provided to you.' I replied, trying to figure out what was going on exactly.

'Ah yes, thank you for that.' When he closed the book again, the sword disappeared instantly as well, and I suddenly realized. Apparently, the look of realization had been visible on my face though, 'So I'm not opposed to a little sparring if you feel up to it.' My grin widened, going from ear to ear, and my nen already started flowing at the mere sound of those words. _If it's like this, then I'm not saying no…_

* * *

The amount of distractions in the general area was working more against me than for me.

I hadn't moved away from the building for more than 50m before I had to change directions. I'd tried to detect who was causing all this, but priority still lay on getting through.

I made a deadstop again before making a sharp turn to the left. _I don't have the time to find out where I am exactly._ I slowed down when I noticed some resistance from Kil, shifting him a bit more comfortable before speeding up again. Whatever line of defense Chrollo had put up, it seemed to have ben disturbed completely. Considering Hisoka was already at his target, it meant someone of us had done this. _Create an opening, let Hisoka take care of the head of the spiders, allowing me to escape._ Then who was causing the distraction at the other side?

I worked my way up to gain some height and oversight, but had to descend again before I'd reached the top when I noticed someone showing themselves. I dropped us to the ground, landing as softly as possible, wanting to take a sharp turn once again. However, when I made the turn, I was stopped by an attack, and recognized the third party wreaking havoc here.

I should've guessed.

His attacks are less effective to me though. _I should be able to get away from him easily enough before he's able to take Kil away from me._

He chose for the quick approach, trying to leave me no room to leave, but this gave me openings to do so anyway, and I attempted. However, at this point the Kurta was apparently more on his toes than anticipated, and cut me short once again before simply, tensly walking my way after way.

Once I noticed with the fragility of Kil in my arms it was better to talk my way out, I allowed this approach.

'Chrollo left you behind? You must not be a threat to him then after all.' His eyes narrowed slightly at me before he ignored that and immediately answered,

'You know, I only wanted you to get rid of Chrollo, that's it, I-' I got more defensive when he broke off his sentence and his eyes opened wider when he noticed the state Kil was in. I took a small step back, ready to flee in the blonde's distracted state. But Kurapika inhaled deeply and swallowed his animosity to be able to answer, '-please…' His tone changed instantly, and he swallowed away another resolution to cohere to the situation. He lifted his hand in offer, and his voice cracked a little, 'At the very least let me heal him a bit further so he will make it to wherever you're taking him.' There was a deep silence following the next couple of seconds in which I made the decision. It didn't make sense to me to allow this when Kil would clearly make it for at least more than an hour, but it was also impossible to me to refuse.

So I dropped my defensive stance, and allowed him closer.

But before he took a step I cocked my head,

'Once you're right in front of me it will take less time for me to kill you than it would for you to kill me.' He gave a short nod before approaching. The only movements I made where those of taking Kil into a safer hold to make sure the blonde really would refrain from doing anything but healing.

'You didn't lose control this time?' He'd stabilized his voice, but I didn't feel the need for answering. His eyes turned scarlet, and he activated his nen – that was all I was focusing on. He held his hand above Kil, hesitating a little, '…Did he steal your hatsu?' Before I left anyway, he started doing what he said he would.

He sill wasn't getting his answers though. I looked down at Killua, watching the wounds slowly disappear. Meanwhile, Kurapika was drawing up his own conclusions,

'Considering you're here, I take it someone interrupted. Hisoka is about the only one who would actually pursue the Troupe, so he's fighting him now. Who's the third party responsible for disturbing the defensive line on this side? Is it someone of your family?' Healing was going slowly, and Kurapika seemed visibly exhausted – he must've encountered at least one of the Troupe on his way here. It was time to go; this healing was more than advanced enough. It would be better if Kil would stay still until we were back at the mansion.

The Kurta already ceased his healing when he noticed this, somewhere still calculating if he could take Killua with him; but with this kind of exhaustion, he knew it was impossible, so he took a step back to "allow" me to leave.

So I turned in my step and was ready to do just that, when this third disturbing force appeared in front of both of us.

'Stop.' I instantly stopped in my tracks when I heard grandfather's command, not turning around. 'Let's take care of this a little.'

'Don't worry, they're all scrambling to figuring out their attackers, no-one's going to approach.' I still tried to suppress the instinct to flee hearing grandfather say that. _No-one's taking Kil from me._ 'And I think it's about time you start listening to me, don't you.' He refrained from exuding any threat in order to keep us all concealed. However, Kurapika's healing should've attracted attention already.

'… …' He was still met with silence, even after his tone was clear enough on his own.

'I'm not one to directly interfere, but I think you understand that having this alternating nen taken by someone like the head of the spiders is not a good thing. So once again, I'll try to speak to your sensibility. I do not have to tell you what the consequences are should you not listen, do I?' I turned back to him slightly. I've taken this too far if he's going to give me a direct order, I know.

He squinted his eyes at me when he saw a still unhealed wound on Kil's body. Kurapika took a step back, but was halted when grandfather lifted his hand for him to stay where he was. He obeyed immediately before grandfather spoke up again,

'I heard your talk just now.' He turned his eyes the blonde's way. 'You're not my problem, but you're not going anywhere right now.' Taking a deep breath, the Kurta relaxed his position a little before attention was given back to me. 'You're going to hand Killua to me.' I turned around completely to protest, but the look in his eyes changed, and I let out the breath I'd taken to respond, 'Was your nen stolen?'

'I don't know.'

'Did you figure out a couple of conditions?' I nodded, 'Good, you're going to tell us of them when we return.' He nudged me to come closer to hand him Kil. Even though there was threat enough, the first step towards him was still taken with hesitation. With reluctance I lay him in grandfather's arms, taking a forced step back before he continued, 'Switch like you did at home.' I jolted a little, but both the Kurta and grandfather put up their protection, so I reluctantly tried to obey.

Taking a small breath, I repeated what I did before Chrollo interfered, and was slightly surprised that I was still able to make the switch.

Immediately, before it would get out of hand, I started looping the nen around me, keeping it all to myself. _So in the end he hadn't stolen anything? But he didn't look disappointed when he walked away..?_

'That's good.' He nodded for me to power down again, and I switched back. This was peculiar… 'Now, listen carefully. You're going to watch the fight between the head and Hisoka, and watch only. Gather more information about him, make sure they don't notice you. After the fight, you're coming back and you'll notice the consequences of your actions. Am I clear?' I nodded again, 'Repeat it.'

'I'm going to watch the fight, I'm not allowed to show myself to either of them.' _He's doing this to force me to calm down, isn't he._

'Well, what are you waiting for? Do you think it will be a long fight?' Without any further warning, I left the three on the ground to head for the fairly obvious place where the fight was taking place. The other spiders will probably scramble there as well, it will be hard to stay hidden…

'Now, as for you, Kurapika, I only have two things to say. You're obviously in no position to take up a fight anymore, so I take it you will listen.'

'… …'

'First of all, don't worry, we'll leave Killua the choice whether he wants to go or not, Illumi won't have a say in it. However, you're going to leave this situation from here on. Do what you want with the rest of the spiders, but you're staying away from Chrollo, Hisoka, Illumi and I. Do you understand?'

'I understand.'

'Good. It would even be helpful if you'd keep them all away from the fight.' After a short second of silence to make sure the message connected, he continued, 'Second, I was approached by Chrollo to take care of you, but I declined. Not because I value your life, but because of this fragile situation; he's become enough of a hindrance that I declined a job. I suggest you not to become the same, I do not like to decline a job.'

'Understood.' After a short moment of silence, he understood it was good to leave, and disappeared from Zeno's sight. It wasn't until after that, that he looked down at the boy in his arms, still unconscious from the pain his body'd had to suffer.

'You don't have a lot of luck, do you. But your knack for survival is good.' Before he too would become too distracted by this situation, he decided to leave the scene and make sure his grandson would survive.

After that, one of his other grandsons will have to be taken care of in a slightly different manner. _You never even asked what way we were going with you developing this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, that's all I have.
> 
> I will leave it here with just a couple of facts:  
> -They WERE planning on having Illumi develop his power, but not in the unstable state he's been in since he was a kid. In that unstable state he was indeed deemed as someone who needed to be locked up with that power  
> -Chrollo only managed to steal the object creating skill. Illumi never explained about his other nen, so that ability remains his alone  
> -Basically, Illumi's changing nen resembles Kurapika's change to Specialist, and just like Kurapika, Illumi has sub-abilities that come with the change. That's how I justify Chrollo's steal - he didn't steal the change-over, he just stole a sub ability to that, only able to use the strange nen for THAT ability and a limited time because his body doesn't switch nen  
> -Illumi will be kept away from the main family by Zeno. He will not be locked up, but he will remain secluded from jobs and as much hunters/jobs as possible until he's become more stable  
> -Speaking of which, this side of him that's been unlocked by Hisoka, will remain unlocked. The more he accepts that this "emotional" side of his exists, the less it'll bother him, and in the end (outwards) his behavior won't change all that much  
> -Of course inside a whole lot will have to change, but neither his obsession with Killua nor his affiliation with Hisoka will go away (you can all rest easy, their kinky sex is not going anywhere, but will be halted for a while) (after that renewed interest from Hisoka's side for the new and improved Illumi, and Illumi just sees it as a sort of hobby, so w/e)  
> -You can fantasize all you want about the fight between Hisoka and Chrollo, but neither dies, and I don't know how wounded they get away from that   
> -Chrollo got something he wanted, and he probably will not come back for seconds after this - the only reason he succeeded this time was because the situation was a mess  
> -I think that was it?  
> -Kurapika may or may not incapacitate other Spiders, I hadn't thought about that yet
> 
> I will put this story as completed with this final summary.  
> I liked writing this, but my life just changed too much while I was in the middle of it, and it didn't work anymore for me.  
> But I hope you enjoyed at least this far, and have a good day \o


End file.
